Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Someone sent us a message and asked that we process it through the Narc Decoder. I laughed when I saw the message because it could have been written by Seth himself. Here is the email:
“I wish I had a mirror to have you see how you come across in your presentation. Maybe there would be a slim possibility you could see how angry, inflexible, demanding a person that you are. Why would anybody want to work anything out with you! You do not know the first thing about being accomodating, understanding, or professional for any matters. So you run to your attorney to find solutions. Besides, the selfishness that is your true self. All you know to do is fight, fight, fight. How very sad because one day it will have an effect on your existence if you keep it up. Find a better way to channel your anger that life is not fair for you or you may face the consequences.
Soon there will be no need to consider “the Family Wizard” for communication because I will rarely have any contact with you except to discuss logistics. So it is totally off the table. Period.
I, too, have plans for myself and our daughter, so you are not privileged in setting what weekend day we do the exchange. In fact, as I said before, I gave you 18 months of many episodes of flexibility and that will not be easy to get anymore. You cannot make Sundays a unilateral condition for hours that were decided by my employer, speaking of being unilateral. Life does not care what you think!
I will not waste anymore of my valuable time today with your expressions of whining and discontent.”
I went out in the garage and searched for the Narc Decoder. It’s been a while since I’ve had to use it because we haven’t heard much from Seth since court in July. Sure enough, it was a bit dusty but as I entered the above email, I heard the normal “snap, crackle, pop” of the Narc Decoder hard at work. Within moments, out popped a completely deciphered email:
“I wish I had a mirror right now so that I could see myself. I could spend hours staring into my own eyes. Have I told you lately how angry I am at the loss of power since our marriage ended? Yes, I’m angry, inflexible and demanding and all of those feelings have escalated tremendously since I can no longer control you. Damn you. I refuse to compromise or work anything out with you- it’s my way or the highway. Didn’t you read the fine print on the pre-nup? I do not know the first thing about being accommodating, understanding or professional but instead of taking ownership for my own shortcomings; I am going to project my faults on to you. Heck, it’s always worked in the past.
I hate that you have an attorney to turn to for advice- why can’t you just let me continue to control and manipulate you?! It’s quite infuriating. I love to fight, fight, fight. This constant drama feeds me because I know that it affects you. I LOVE to affect you. Speaking of love, did you know that I am actually incapable of that? Thank God I am so manipulative because I am able to fool women just like I fooled you. Have you seen my mirror lately? Aren’t you supposed to keep track of my things?
Our Family Wizard? Are you joking? Do you really think that I want my words and actions to be monitored? Ha! I want access to you by all means possible- text, phone, email, in person and while shouting from the rooftops. You want ME to agree to something that YOU think is a good idea? Ha! Did I mention that I am a control freak and a program like that would not work well for me? The only way that I will agree to use that program is if it somehow becomes my idea. I will be sure to request that YOU be required to use it while we are in front of the Judge because it will play into my claim that you are harassing me and that the program will put an end to your persistent abuse. By the way, have you ever heard of a program called, “Our Family Wizard?” I happen to find it online yesterday and I think we should begin to use it. I am tired of the constant harassment from you.
You want me to be flexible on times for visitation. I’m sorry but that is a one-way street. You must adhere to the court order word for word however, I will let you know when I need you to bend. Oh, by the way, next weekend doesn’t work well for me as I have a lunch date. I’ll need you to take our daughter for a few extra hours.
Have I mentioned how valuable my time is? I should get paid to just be awake and breathing. Now that I’ve thoroughly fed my sick, deranged ego, I am going to sit here and gloat knowing that you are on the receiving end of my latest attack. I’m going to envision you breaking down crying because that is like a high to me.”
“I wish I had a mirror to have you see how you come across in your presentation. Maybe there would be a slim possibility you could see how angry, inflexible, demanding a person that you are. Why would anybody want to work anything out with you! You do not know the first thing about being accomodating, understanding, or professional for any matters. So you run to your attorney to find solutions. Besides, the selfishness that is your true self. All you know to do is fight, fight, fight. How very sad because one day it will have an effect on your existence if you keep it up. Find a better way to channel your anger that life is not fair for you or you may face the consequences.
Soon there will be no need to consider “the Family Wizard” for communication because I will rarely have any contact with you except to discuss logistics. So it is totally off the table. Period.
I, too, have plans for myself and our daughter, so you are not privileged in setting what weekend day we do the exchange. In fact, as I said before, I gave you 18 months of many episodes of flexibility and that will not be easy to get anymore. You cannot make Sundays a unilateral condition for hours that were decided by my employer, speaking of being unilateral. Life does not care what you think!
I will not waste anymore of my valuable time today with your expressions of whining and discontent.”
I went out in the garage and searched for the Narc Decoder. It’s been a while since I’ve had to use it because we haven’t heard much from Seth since court in July. Sure enough, it was a bit dusty but as I entered the above email, I heard the normal “snap, crackle, pop” of the Narc Decoder hard at work. Within moments, out popped a completely deciphered email:
“I wish I had a mirror right now so that I could see myself. I could spend hours staring into my own eyes. Have I told you lately how angry I am at the loss of power since our marriage ended? Yes, I’m angry, inflexible and demanding and all of those feelings have escalated tremendously since I can no longer control you. Damn you. I refuse to compromise or work anything out with you- it’s my way or the highway. Didn’t you read the fine print on the pre-nup? I do not know the first thing about being accommodating, understanding or professional but instead of taking ownership for my own shortcomings; I am going to project my faults on to you. Heck, it’s always worked in the past.
I hate that you have an attorney to turn to for advice- why can’t you just let me continue to control and manipulate you?! It’s quite infuriating. I love to fight, fight, fight. This constant drama feeds me because I know that it affects you. I LOVE to affect you. Speaking of love, did you know that I am actually incapable of that? Thank God I am so manipulative because I am able to fool women just like I fooled you. Have you seen my mirror lately? Aren’t you supposed to keep track of my things?
Our Family Wizard? Are you joking? Do you really think that I want my words and actions to be monitored? Ha! I want access to you by all means possible- text, phone, email, in person and while shouting from the rooftops. You want ME to agree to something that YOU think is a good idea? Ha! Did I mention that I am a control freak and a program like that would not work well for me? The only way that I will agree to use that program is if it somehow becomes my idea. I will be sure to request that YOU be required to use it while we are in front of the Judge because it will play into my claim that you are harassing me and that the program will put an end to your persistent abuse. By the way, have you ever heard of a program called, “Our Family Wizard?” I happen to find it online yesterday and I think we should begin to use it. I am tired of the constant harassment from you.
You want me to be flexible on times for visitation. I’m sorry but that is a one-way street. You must adhere to the court order word for word however, I will let you know when I need you to bend. Oh, by the way, next weekend doesn’t work well for me as I have a lunch date. I’ll need you to take our daughter for a few extra hours.
Have I mentioned how valuable my time is? I should get paid to just be awake and breathing. Now that I’ve thoroughly fed my sick, deranged ego, I am going to sit here and gloat knowing that you are on the receiving end of my latest attack. I’m going to envision you breaking down crying because that is like a high to me.”
My favorite part is, "By the way, have you ever heard of a program called Our Family Wizard?" It always amazes me how they can lie to the one person who KNOWS the truth and not have a bit of shame or stupidity saying it. Crazy.
And I agree Kris, a decoder is a must!
This has been a real mind-blower for me, too, WithC. Just a few weeks ago, before NC, P was insisting to me, in a phone conversation, that there NEVER WERE hundreds of folders containing photos and videos of another woman in both of his computers AND in my laptop (a woman he knew and had taken these images of), It was all my paranoid fantasy. Never mind that we had gone through all this material and deleted it together through days of me pouring tears, Never mind that he had destroyed all 3 computers when later I had decided to have the hard drives restored because of his denials of what had been on them.
When we briefly reconciled for 2 days, during which he agreed he is a psychopath, and said he wanted therapy, I asked him what went through his mind while he was lying to me about things he could not possibly convince me of. I asked if he thought he COULD convince me of these lies. He laughed and said no, he knew he couldn't convince me. I asked him then why did he persist in lying ? He laughed again and said because it was the only thing he could do.