S/P/N are poison to their kids.

I had 2 children with my P ex-husband. He never kept a regular job, and once my health was broken, we all lived on a precipice, unable to stay housed, clothed and fed. Being a P, he manipulated this circumstance, to our kids, to make this appear my fault. He often pretended to have up to 3 jobs which kept him away from home almost all the time, though he produced no income, thus, our children almost never saw him.

Sick as I was, I had to work, and he refused to do any of the childcare, portraying my request as selfish and destructive of his income "opportunities." In fact, he did coke and partied and was out with women all the time. In one of my jobs, as a home health care, nurse, I spent 3 nights a week with a patient. My P husband was so enraged by my leaving him to get the kids off to school, that he beat the stubborn one--an 8-year-old--almost every morning. Neither of the kids ever told me about this until I was in the process of leaving him after 30 years. P's will vent their rage on anything and anyone that stands in their way.

Now my kids are adults. They have little to do with him, and he makes almost no efforts, either. The one he used to beat has not spoken to him for periods as long as 7 years. They see things clearly now, but a P so messes with people's persectives that they were messed up through their 20's, still, about what had taken place in their childhoods.

We have had women on this forum whose kids are in their 20's, and are still messed up from the truth-twisting influence of their P fathers, and who still treat their mothers like crap.

Psychopaths are living lies. Kids raised by psychopaths have the huge task of overcoming the world of illsuions in which they were raised. This is monumental for kids, and not part of what a kid is supposed to have to do in the difficult task of becoming an adult. Thus, many of psychopath's kids will fail this overwhleming task, and never develop the capacity to discern between truth and lies. This capacity is literally the most important piece of the character of a human being. What a psychopath attempts to destroy in a developing child--due to desiring to warp the child's perceptions in his favor, and in favor of lies--is nothing less than the spiritual rape of the child. It is a crime against the child's spirit. It is through the spirit, that we discern between truth and lies. The psychopath aims to thwart this spiritual development in his children.

The second P in my life was a worse father than the first. His children were in their 20's when we met. He had an emotionally incestuous relationship with his daughter, and used her, hdieously, to twist her mind and spirit into believing lies--filthy, perverted lies that he generated almost daily. I talked to the P's second ex-wife, who was in the pciture when the girl was an adolescent, and learned that he had been, psychologically, interacting with the girl as if she his wife since she was 12. That girl, now woman, will never have a chance to fulfill the true destiny of every human being--to know herself, know truth, and know God. Her knowing is perpetually bent and perverted to the goals of her psychopathic father. P bragged to me, when we were together, that his daughter had said to him that day. "Thank you so much dad for teaching me what really matters in life--good sex, good drugs, and good music."

This P's son is disconnected from his inner self, very intellectual, passive and bland. Like his father, he scoffs at the notion of God, and is proud of the fact that he has never experienced any sort of spiritual feeling or impulse. As he has not experienced any, he takes this as proof there is no such thing and seems to feel very superior about it. In fact, he is like pale, anemic version of a human being, no power and no passion. I believe this is because he was spoon-fed lies through his adolescence.

P#2's kids seem to "love" him, but their mother died when they were young. He has trashed all the women he's had in his life since. He is all they have known. He hangs out with them, their friends, parties and smokes pot with them, because this is what he wants to do. He told me he started smoking pot with his daughter when she was 12. This was the year her mother died and she took her mother's place. He has used his son's house in my city as a hotel, for years, in support of his dating adventures, spending up to 3 nights a week there. Surprise, surpise, that son is now getting a divorce. The ex-wife is probably sick to death of having her skankass FIL around. In actuality, he uses his kids to their detriment. He used both of them in his smear campaign against me extensively. Their case is especially tragic as their mother is gone and there is no one to help them learn about life.

Mine said that he always wanted kids but his ex was not ready, and then she got hooked on drugs and he had to divorce her - lies! It turn out that he had 2 daughters with his ex, that he never acknowledged to me, and that he abandoned (10 y/o and 12/ y/old) when his ex divorced him. He also had a third child with a different woman right before he started dating me. LOSER!

Yes my ex has four kids from three different women. The first is grown and local but he never sees her. He was "tricked" into that one so why should he care? The second child he abandoned until age 3 or 4 when the mother filed support and he decided to get involved. The 3rd he had was the only one he intentionally conceived. He is an active parent with that one. Mine he was also "tricked" into and has never been involved. He lies to everyone about how many kids he has. Quite sad indeed.

I've been involved with 5 men, all had PDs, 4 had kids.

The 1st psychopath had 3 kids by 2 women. 1 was by a minor whom he impregnated and became a registered sex offender because of. He never had any contact with that kid and had no parental rights. The other 2 were by an ex wife. 1 of those kids, his mother had custody of. The remaining kid, 4 yrs old at the time I knew him, he had fought his ex wife for custody of and won (somehow, as a registered sex offender). He, of course, did this for power and had no desire to raise a kid. He made the kid stay in his room 24/7. He was not allowed out of the room for any reason. He played alone in his room all day. He didn't go outside, he didn't have friends. He fed him frozen chicken nuggets for every meal. His room was full of trash, toys, and old food. You couldn't see the floor or the surface of the bed. The kid displayed all the signs of children who grow up to be sociopaths: arson, violent (broke his cousin's nose by punching him in the face), aggression towards animals, bed wetting, conduct disorder, etc.

The 2nd guy was a Narcissist. He had two sons. He had also fought for custody from his ex wife, for the purpose of power. Again, he wanted nothing to do with child raising and was hardly around. He didn't even spend most birthdays with his kids. They were already grown and in college when I knew him. They already displayed the same signs as their father.

The 3rd guy was a Sociopath. He did not win custody (not sure if he tried). He had custody on weekends but I never met his kids or saw their interaction.

The last guy is OCPD (a cluster C disorder) and possibly AvPD (another cluster C). He has alienated pretty much everyone from his life. He has 3 grown kids. None of them will talk to him, not even on christmas or his birthday.

Funny, lovechild. My last guy, the OCPD was "tricked" into one of those children as well. 2 of them are by an ex wife and the 3rd (the tricked one) is by another woman. Interestingly enough, both of these women also abandoned these children. So they were abandoned by both parents and raised by the grandparents.

Nice, nothing like both parents bailing on a kid. I'm not a fan of double standards but let's fact it; mom's bailing means mom was pretty disordered herself. I just expect that of men. My own dad basically bailed too.

And as for the other losers you described - typical. My ex SP and "father" of my child has a young adult child who he was involved with. She sounds like a SP to me. She knows about her "brother" (my son) and has no interest in seeing him or knowing him. I'm sorry but if I had a sibling out there, regardless of how it came to be, I'd be damn sure I knew them.

The thought of my daughter at the hands of my ex chills me.

I thank God everyday that I didn't put my exes name of the birth certificate, something I lost friends over but these days I don't care for 'friends' like that. I knew my ex would hurt my daughter, he joked about physically hurting her but the emotional damage would have been worse. I think he'd have gone to court but I blew the whistle on his behaviour and abuse, he was worried by that but only in the sense that others would see him for who he is.

There needs to be more education on narcissism and psychopathy, especially in courts where children's wellbeing is decided. Manipulation is at the heart of their disorder, they lie are are lies. It's hard for others to see.

We can only be free when we live in the truth, however terrible that truth is to face we need to face it and find ourselves. Our children need that reality and truth, to feel love and real support.

The psychopath has one daughter from a 20 years younger European who was born "by accident"as he claimed, but they "both wanted it".
This daughter is an excuse, this daughter is curtain to hide his perversions behind.
He said he wants to be with his daughter to make me feel guilty and not accuse him of abuse , but he found another young woman days later, to hang out with,
He's not raising her he had her and he supports financially. He said he's glad she is "these and not here".

lovechild, that's what's so complicated about this guy. In a lot of ways, he resembles me. The mother of the 2 children is likely a sociopath. She ended up in prison for kidnapping and child endangerment and stealing a car. She's still in trouble to this day for domestic violence. She's been in trouble for prostitution and drugs. He had a very traumatic relationship with her. They married young. The kids were taken by CPS. But he kept going back for more, over and over again...until she ended up in prison. He couldn't just let her go. She attempted to kill him. Set fire to their house.

His relationships since then were nothing like that.