Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
So whats going on there?!
I spend far far too long trying to figure out my husband.!
His last wife sent him for an autism test when their son was diagnosed with Aspergers. He says he passed but I can see why she wanted him to take one!
He confuses me no end.
He can be very thoughtful but inappropriately. I think he thinks he is being kind.
Such as he bought his parents a dog as he thought they needed to get out more. ( to me buying a pet isn't something you do for someone else or without asking!)
He would take peoples babies inside if he felt they were cold, such as when he saw a praam outside with a sleeping baby in it in the summer.
He sold my old car when I was out one day - telling me I deserved better and he would sort me out something better. It took him two years to do that, in the end I did it myself.
He can only focus on one thing, such as work ( and then I am invisible) but if we are on holiday I am fully love-bombed.
He will buy a huge cake for someones birthday, someone he hardly knows. Not thinking that it would be something a spouse or close friend would have done already so embarrassing them by his bigger better cake.
He will go up to a girl in the street or in a restaurant , anywhere really, and tell her she looks nice and make a comment about her hair or shoes or bag. Something personal. He is very intense then. When I have said that was inappropriate he said he was trying to boost her confidence. I think actually its creepy.
So he thinks he knows best. ALL the time.
These things are the tip of his 'good deeds' that confuse me, all seemingly kind actions but they make me cringe. He seems completely clueless as to why they make me cringe at all.
The list of his headless and cruel behaviours are endless. but just as weird.
He often does things to teach someone a lesson. classic tit for tat.
He laughs at me as he calls me a fantasist and a liar when he says I imagined him saying something.
His demeanour is one of someone quite calm, he's not shouty or aggressive. Very passive aggressive. He will stonewall me if he doesn't want to answer a question.
The sex thing I have to mention. He will often start being intimate only to leave without finishing, him or me , and say it is time to go to work now.
He has this hyper focus on his interests, grand plans all the time. But when I started a new business, my dream, he never asks me about it at all. His memory is poor but he remembers his stuff.
So I am left feeling confused hurt and baffled by his behaviour.
His heartless cruelty can also be overly kind in the wrong way. I don't get it at all.
So is a psycho narc autism really a combo of all of these?!
I have PTSD from my childhood and being with him has sent me into a spin.
I spend far far too long trying to figure out my husband.!
His last wife sent him for an autism test when their son was diagnosed with Aspergers. He says he passed but I can see why she wanted him to take one!
He confuses me no end.
He can be very thoughtful but inappropriately. I think he thinks he is being kind.
Such as he bought his parents a dog as he thought they needed to get out more. ( to me buying a pet isn't something you do for someone else or without asking!)
He would take peoples babies inside if he felt they were cold, such as when he saw a praam outside with a sleeping baby in it in the summer.
He sold my old car when I was out one day - telling me I deserved better and he would sort me out something better. It took him two years to do that, in the end I did it myself.
He can only focus on one thing, such as work ( and then I am invisible) but if we are on holiday I am fully love-bombed.
He will buy a huge cake for someones birthday, someone he hardly knows. Not thinking that it would be something a spouse or close friend would have done already so embarrassing them by his bigger better cake.
He will go up to a girl in the street or in a restaurant , anywhere really, and tell her she looks nice and make a comment about her hair or shoes or bag. Something personal. He is very intense then. When I have said that was inappropriate he said he was trying to boost her confidence. I think actually its creepy.
So he thinks he knows best. ALL the time.
These things are the tip of his 'good deeds' that confuse me, all seemingly kind actions but they make me cringe. He seems completely clueless as to why they make me cringe at all.
The list of his headless and cruel behaviours are endless. but just as weird.
He often does things to teach someone a lesson. classic tit for tat.
He laughs at me as he calls me a fantasist and a liar when he says I imagined him saying something.
His demeanour is one of someone quite calm, he's not shouty or aggressive. Very passive aggressive. He will stonewall me if he doesn't want to answer a question.
The sex thing I have to mention. He will often start being intimate only to leave without finishing, him or me , and say it is time to go to work now.
He has this hyper focus on his interests, grand plans all the time. But when I started a new business, my dream, he never asks me about it at all. His memory is poor but he remembers his stuff.
So I am left feeling confused hurt and baffled by his behaviour.
His heartless cruelty can also be overly kind in the wrong way. I don't get it at all.
So is a psycho narc autism really a combo of all of these?!
I have PTSD from my childhood and being with him has sent me into a spin.
Its not 'ok' or appropriate though , his behaviour, is it!?
I think the main difference is like you said tit-for-tat behavior, most artistic people will not do the tit-for-tat so strategically and intentional strategizing to get what they want.
Don't be food grab hold to your belief of your exes psychotic behavior because I too was almost fooled about my ex having autism. But what made me stand firm was remembering all of his rude condescending put downs, selfish controlling evil ways.
I say hell no!!!
A social path is condescending, condescending, condescending,
strategically rude and
evil evil evil
autism
Some are highly intelligent
Some may say rude things unintentionally or unknowing
Some may love routines
most have little to no friends
Some have awkward ways about them
Some had early biological issues at birth and during the young early developmental stage of life.
When I met my asshole/sociopathic ex
I was at one of the hardest time in my life-my guards and antennas to Detect red flags were down.
My father died, my mom had a heart attack, I sold my house that I love and moved into a room to downsize I just became an empty Nester and I had no family in the city where I lived and I had to take a company to court for not paying me for work- all this happened less than 10 months-- all the while dating an asshole.
He once told me to get over it and how everyone has a hard time at work (but I had to just take my employer to court).
You said you have PTSD
I say heal yourself by knowing he was an asshole sociopath.
and 2014underst… - he is my husband, still! He is my employer and he has me dependant on him.
Also Im not sure he is very intelligent at all. Its hard to gauge this one. He never reads. He has read 2 books in his life and those in the last year. One about tantric sex ( I bought him as his lovemaking is oddly robotic and his knowledge of women and how they physically function is hopelessly inadequate, for a man on his 4th wife ( and god knows how many one nighters) this is baffling) I bought him the book and put it in the toilet - he reads in there! HE has nearly finished it. I have noticed a small improvement!
He does the tit-for-tat thing to show the other person how it feels to be on the receiving end of whatever he feels they have done wrong. This is how he explained it to me.
I know that the very fact that he confuses me is enough for me to leave but I don't feel I have any options for now. I think it is maybe my faulty perception, which is why I posted!
Rebuild your life in factors such as emotionally, spiritually, socially, environmentally, occupationally. Rebuild your life in the event of a divorce. I don't know if sociopaths can ever recover but I am known to be an optimistic person
However before a problem can be resolved a person must admit the problem and be willing to work hard to fix the problem. they have to admit it (not) the a partner.
But as the flight attendant always say put on your mask first before trying to help someone else.