My P ex was screwing anything he could. Women, men, and I even found bestiality porn. Sex is not sex with these people, there is no such thing as sexual attraction. Sex is just another activity and it does not matter who or what is on the other end. They do not even get real sexual enjoyment out of it. It is disgusting but the idea of sex is not the same for him as it is for you. My ex P also went on and on about immoral behaviors and disgust with the gay community. Soooo different than what he was really up to. It really is inhuman and very animistic and disorder driven. Don't bother sending anything to him.....there is no purpose. And do yourself a favor and quit digging. You will just make yourself sicker the more you know. I sooooo wish that I didn't know the things that I know....it is the hardest part about my recovery. I hate knowing that this disgusting crap exists and want my ignorance back. Pleeeeeease keep as much ignorance as you can. You will thank yourself later.

Ha! Ignorance is bliss. Yes I don't usually dig. I just did it whimsically. He always said "a hole is a hole". I'm not surprised but yet I am. I need to screen shot the ad in case I ever need it. We have a kid so who knows when he might come after me.

I was so glad to see this post on this topic!
Thank you for posting it.
I always wondered if I was wrong when I noticed one night on his computer I was using that I went to Craigslist and wondered why he was on the personals and then noticed the name Men looking for Men was a different color on the screen than the other names which means that he had clicked on it. And he was clicking on the different listings which were a different color also. I now know from both your responses that I was right. When I confronted him he went into an outrage at what was I doing on his computer looking into his private things but really never denied it. I am tired of living in ignorance and am not looking to find anything about him but think it is important to know the facts that are in my head because the not understanding is worse for me and I do not want to be ignorant in the future. He was also very critical of Gay men. Weird thing that always bothered me is that he would go bike riding at nigh time and be gone for hours. Now I think I know what he might have been doing. He was definitely a very sick weirdo and I am so glad he is in jail now and away from me for at least a couple years so I can get my life back without the worry you have that he may come get me. I know how you feel.

It is weird I woke today thinking it had to be a mistake. He hit the men button just by accident. It is weird how we begin to think like them. I am running his script in my mind.

He always said there was a secret he had that would be a "deal breaker".I have no problem with people's choice in sexual preference but I personally choice to date only straight men. He told the OW he had a secret as well. When she found about our son - he then said that was the secret. No- it wasn't because he had a secret for me too. I always suspected it was men. He could impersonate a gay man far too well. I think all his hypersexual behaviors with women is to fight off his urge for men. He would sometimes have sex with 5 women in a day in his younger years. He told me he did it to punish himself. He was abused by a man as a kid so he actually hates sex.

The way I understand it, psychopaths and sociopaths don't have a sexual orientation. It is as Live says. My XP spent an entire night in our first year telling me he was gay, after spending several months carrying on daily about a gay guy, at his part-time job--how cute he had looked that day, what he had said or done, how talented he was, how adorable his blonde pony tail. During this particular waste of my life, he stepped back from his "you and me forever" talk, to musing about how we couldn't predict the future, for all he knew a year from now, he could be with a man. Then came the night of telling me for 8 straight hours that he was gay and therefore we had to break up. I accepted this and wished him well.

I was heartbroken, and called a man I had dated a few times--who was still interested--for support. He came over and held me while I cried. For our remaining 2.5 years together, P ranted about me cheating on him that day (I did not), and how he couldn't believe I thought he was gay, how could I think that, how dare I denigrate his masculinity like that, and accused, for years, that I had insulted his sexuality by suggesting he was gay. I never suggested he was gay except in the days after he told me he was.

He would talk about gay sex, specifically, and how that wasn't for him.

He often ranted about how much gay people disgusted him. He would follow this up by defending their rights, asserting his (fake) liberal position. I have a gay family member whom he ridiculed and slurred to me. In a recent conversation with him regarding return of my belongings, he again went on about gay people, about how both our therapists are gay, and "sensing" the 2 had been close at one tme.

I believe he is interested in men, and does the gay-bashing to cover it up. But I believe he is actually omni-sexual, and has sexual interest in all beings and things. He once told me that all things were sexual to him, even road kill.

I agree with the above. They have no sexual orientation since they don't really have feelings/attraction. The last sociopath who raped me said everyone would make fun of him saying he was gay. He talked like he was gay, he had the body language like he was gay, but he was so adamant that he "liked the va jay jay". But I'm willing to bet he was on gay hookup sites or something like that.

"Va jay jay." Wow, so someone other than my mentally ill prostitute neighbor calls it that. I thought she was the only one.

XP talked me into befriending the untouchable trash-mouth former state mental hospital inmate (I had avoided her for 2 years until then), and I heard that and other descriptions for her lady part. How about "hoo haw?" Used in a sentence by her: "I'm not letting some old fart into my hoo haw."

I would report these gems back to XP on e-mails, which was (I realize now) the reason he suggested I befriend her in the first place. That, and as subsequent friends have suggested, he was hoping for a threesome. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

Yeah, I think only women talk like that, and not women you want to be friends with. I'll bet he was on gay hook-up sites, too.

There was something my ex said after we split up that once made me think he could be with a man, it was when I found out he'd dialled a prostitute number from the house landline. He denied it then said 'I haven't been with any other woman or man for that matter since you left'. Could have been emphasising but I though it was strange. He worshipped his best friend who was an ex body builder and as heterosexual as they come.

Although my exes porn was of women though, I never saw gay porn.

The idea of sex with anything /anyone fills me with worry when it comes to sociopaths. My daughter was only about four months old when changing her nappy he would be saying weird stuff like 'look at you there with your legs wide open, just like your mother', he would say other 'jokey' sarcastic things like that. He would openly joke in front of her that I was a slut, she couldn't understand thank God but I found it weird and inappropriate. He was sexualising an infant, it was the furthest thing from my mind in fact it would never enter my mind to think those things.

My ex was in and out of bad behaviour units as a child, he'd hit teachers, was taken to school in a cage as a child by his abusive parents. I have often wondered if he was sexually abused as a child, he had blocked a lot of memories out. I will never know.

Oh my strength....that just gave me shivers! Thank goodness that he is not near your daughter! Sick bastard.

Yeah Strength, big red flag. My 1st psychopath, a registered sex offender for a sex crime against a child, had custody of his 4-5 yr old son while I dated him. He would say stuff like that about his son. He'd talk about how his son had such a big penis for a 4 yr old. Then I later found out that he was a sex offender/pedophile. Police ended up seizing his computer, which had tons of porn on it before he wiped it all clean right before they took it in an investigation. I have no idea why any court would give him custody of a kid. You're not allowed to live within 1000 ft of a school (which he also did) but here, have a kid.

Awful strength!
I just feel so sad today. Still trying to come up with any justification for why he has that ad for men. Maybe it was a mistake, a joke etc. Then if it is not, and if he was abused as he said, he's maybe reenacting his abuse. Why do I feel sad? Should I alert the OW about this? If you recall she reached out to me initially. I suspect they are back together but don't talk to either one. I want to tell her.

Oh love, please reconsider. You have to show yourself some compassion and love and reinserting yourself into this situation will not harm anyone but you and will not save anyone at all. If there is a concern about a child's well being and proof that you can share then go through the authorities. Do not contact the OW. Please just stay away.....I wish you could understand fully how you damage yourself further with every tempted communication.

I know Live. The silence is deafening. I won't contact her. I needed to hear that from you. She's a "detective" anyway so I'm sure she's seen it. I've been no contact for so many months I won't go back. I just can't help but feel such angst, sadness, remorse, disbelief and pain of loss. I can't believe he is as sick as he is. Almost all my intrusions are coming to fruition. I thought he was gay- always told him so too. I just hate that I've had to remain "gone" since all this happened without him even knowing I know so much about him. He doesn't care I know. It is all so surreal; it causes me physical illness.

It's hard, I also think about warning my exes new woman but it wouldn't be safe for us. I think it's a risk as they won't believe us and the P is unpredictable and full of rage at times. I don't want to be on the receiving end !

@Live and AgentSmith, I'm glad I wasn't going crazy and that other people think the same that the stuff my ex said about my daughter in a sexual way was inappropriate. I mean, who thinks like that about a tiny little baby? It was insane. I will never know what he was capable of because I got out as soon as I could but from what I hear about psychopaths they will use anybody/anything that they need at the time. Most pedophiles are PSN so I think it didn't look good.

Wow it was a million miles away from the man I first met, tall, handsome, charming, mirroring me perfectly so I thought he was my soulmate. Five years later and I was running for my life with my daughter.