I guess in a way, I broke my no contact. Even with their P/S/N long gone, does anyone still wonder if they are out there hurting/using people?

I think we will always wonder things about our ex's, is normal we loved these people. just be very careful obsessing about it and breaking your no contact. things usually look good on the outside with your ex S but rarely are that good. its a mask remember that. try to go no contact again you've come so far with all of this don't start over. we are kind loving people its normal to wonder what they are doing its another to act on it. they don't change and I guarantee his next relationship will be the same, you just probably wont see that right out. they love the world to see how wonderful there lives are, or supposedly are. they will always hurt people they don't change and it wasn't just you , there behavior doesnt change.

I hope it's normal to still feel like I want to drag him down. He doesn't deserve any fun or success.

I think we all feel that way Betrayed because it was taken from us. Months/years were taken from us. Time that could have allowed us to find someone who would really love us, and not only did they take that time, they took more time because until we heal and repair, we cannot begin our new search and the next situation will be difficult. How could we not feel resentful by their ability to move on like we never mattered and be seemingly happy. Although bellanomore is right, they are never happy. I think back now and realize I never felt that deep sense of passion wave through me when I was with my ex. I think it's because he didn't replicate the loving feelings so there was less intensity or the feeling of love. Maybe a little in the beginning, but it wasn't long lasting. He often seemed emotionless unless he was showing happinesss.

betrayed , im sure its normal to feel that way but when you reach acceptance in your grieving process you wont really care one way or another. remember some day he will get what is coming to him the best revenge is to get on with your life and leave him in the dust. you deserve to have peace and I hope that comes to you soon. its taken me almost 2 years to get o that point and everyone is different. try not to look at what he is doing it only makes the healing process go slower.

Thank you ladies. I will try to distract myself as much as possible. I think it's also because I'm disappointed with the men out there so I go back to obsessing over him.

For me this whole process lasted about 4 years, trying to get away from him and going to him again ( it was miserable, I was clinging to him, he was stalking me then cheating on me etc) but now I am glad I am stable enough not to look back, neither do I long for him. I dont even go searching for him on the net etc. One day I accidently came across his pic on fb, I changed the page, the only feeling I had at the moment was disgust. I dont care what he is upto or who is he F***ing. So hang on, things will get better.

Betrayed: It's a normal feeling, but it isn't healthy to obsess. People wonder how they get had, and it is occasions like this, going back to the abuser, stalking him when he is successfully out of their life, that they take so much advantage hurting so many around them, in a way you are asking for it. The best revenge, ever, remember this, is moving on. Who gives a damn if he is successful and enjoying his life, it isn't your life, and you aren't attached to him, nor do you need him to live. Move on. Make your life yours again and gain that happiness you deserve at your own terms, no one else's. Attempting to get even with someone so advanced in destruction will only leave you blown up in the building you went back into knowing he had the detonator. It's stupid...