Ask him. They are so dumb they will tell you.

On the mend: You're probably right, however, I fear opening pandora's box with a response. I guess I'll have to change email addresses again.

I wish he would've stayed where he was at. I just closed on my house and I'm now contemplating a security system--just in case he tries to track me down which he told me he would one day... It sucks that when you purchase a home, your name and address become public record. Maybe I should buy a big dog too. A really big mean looking dog...

FYI Most people are very careless with e-mail forwarding, and send messages on with lists of addresses of the others who sent or received them. It is very possible that he was able to get your address from something forwarded to him from a mutual acquaintance. Like the public records of home ownership, there is not much you can do about it.

Your best defense is a cellphone. Use it to stay in touch with your friends and neighbors. Learn how to turn the GPS location beacon on, and add the police non-emergency number to your speed-dial list.

Dogs and security systems are costly and generally have a low ROI, but if they help you feel safer maybe they are worth it. To help you meet others in your community, join your neighborhood watch.

Sorry you are going through this...and yes, it sucks that we just cannot hide. Many years ago my Dad hired a private investigator to follow me after I left home and went no contact with him.

My sister has moved from her place and even switched jobs....my Dad called her current employer trying to track her down.

My brother has been the only one to stay under the radar. He has a PO Box and rents a house. He is so paranoid of my Dad that he will not pose in any photos that may end up online....same for his wife.

No matter what we do....we cannot hide. That being said, I have a dog and a security system that includes indoor and outdoor video surveillance.

I have an older neighbor couple that moved into their home a few years ago....and they seem very out of place. Believe me, I have had suspicions about them, too. My Dad has nothing to lose in his declining old age....he can blow his money on private investigators all he wants if that is what satiates his narcissistic personality disorder.

Be safe.

Thank you all for your support and I couldn't agree more that we should not hide. I'm seriously contemplating the dog option in the coming months. The neighborhood watch is a great idea.

He sent me another email two days ago that said, "I was excited to see your email in my box. Was it an accident or hack? Or will you please say something?" All I know is that I did not contact him...nor will I respond.

I've learned so much through this forum and am adamant about sticking to NC. He does not know where I live and I don't think he has the funds to hire someone to figure it out or do it himself. I've changed my email address twice since he entered my life and instead of doing it again, I've decided to just let the emails arrive and then archive them in the folder I call "sociopath." If he tries anything extraordinary, 911 is a call away and I'm sure I can track down his military chain of command. Hopefully, it won't come to that.

After all that happened with this parasite, I do feel stronger. Life will keep moving forward.

Hugs!!!

Moving on,

It occurs to me that his getting your email address (and possibly an email from you) could be a two-part accident. If you ever replied "reply all" to any email with a series of emails, ccs, or even maybe blind ccs (that you did not see), or maybe even a group (not sure how those work); then if his email was in there, it could have been auto-added to your address book. Then, if you get a virus, it can randomly email things from your email to all those in your address book. That would explain how he got an email from you that you did not send, and how he got your email address. Just a thought, and less worrisome than other ways. If this is the case, just don't hit "reply all" to any email that might have him on the list too (schools, or any other groups you might both belong to).

Escape, I do believe I was hacked. I have a plethora of emails from various people asking if I was hacked. Argh!

EyesOpenedN, LOL. You are SO right! I do believe you hit the nail on the head and the blindfold that once covered my eyes was stripped off last year. I'm so sorry that you were also contacted. I remember reading in previous posts that they will attempt to return to our lives.

I tried to blocked him but apparently the only way I can do so again is to change my email address. Something I will consider doing again. Of course, by not doing so, the door is open for his communications. Here's the latest from him:

Please don't close the door again Laura....please don't close it. There isn't a time that goes by, especially when I play with my nieces or nephews, or my friends' kids, that I don't think about ours.

I want to try and start, even if it is the smallest of emails. I didn't buy the book you recommended. I picked it up many times after you cut off contact. I held it. I looked at it. I never bought it. I read a lot of articles on News websites and pregnancy info sites though. I sent the links in emails, but I don't think they got through to the old address. Eventually I stopped sharing. Anytime I saw a news special report on pregnancy or birth, I looked at it online. Diet, exercise, habits, health tips, etc. All the time I paid attention to those.

I know you think I had this "lifestyle". And even though it was never what you have pictured in your head, I have mellowed out in the last year. I guess I don't expect you to believe me just like that....but for what it is worth. Anyway, it isn't about what you think I do is it? I mean I want to have communications with you, and it would be really nice if we could do so even if it is sporadic.

I don't want to be a nothing to the baby Laura. Please don't take that as an ultimatum that you better let me be a SOMETHING. It isn't. I just don't want to be.....empty space. I want to help him in any way that you will let me. It should be about the baby and not the hate that you have for me, right?

You never answered my question. How are you and Baby doing? Was he born on Feb 27? What is his name?

Did you know....I think I might have told you....that he is related to Aaron Burr and Meriwether Lewis? And his ancestors can be traced back to Drury Jackson fighting under Washington in the Revolution? That is a bit of American history there!

I guess that is enough for now. I hope you read this and think and decide that being able to reach one another isn't a bad thing.

(sigh)

I have been stressed out since I received this email. All of the hurtful and hateful things he did to me and to our unborn child have resurfaced and I feel nothing but contempt. I am not planning on responding. I find it ironic that he seems to think he has recovered from his ways...Now he wants his child--the one I lost within a month after I went NC at the end of the first trimester...I was so stressed. Kept losing weight. He planned to hide our child from his family, from the many online OW he was flirting with in front of me???? Now that he's returned to the states, he wants to be part of our child's life and not be an empty space? Now his child matters? Still no apologies still for what he put me through. Typical N/S. It's always about him and his needs.

I am lucky my staulkers found new targets and they are too dumb technology wise to hack or find,e mails.unfortunately l still check up on my last socio but l never act on it..my mind is ruling my emotions for a chamhe dont want my tires slashed my spark plugs pulled threats or physical harm.l know it would be the same

Wow, Moving On, that's really horrible. Good you remember what he turned out to be.

Thank you all for listening to me vent. He emailed again...I have written a couple of draft responses but never hit send. I detailed every horrible word he said and every horrible action he did. I don't want to be manipulated by him again so I have promised not to hit send. Silence is all he deserves. He doesn't deserve anymore of my energy. The very thought of him repulses me.

Life was going really well...really well...It will be well again.

I truly wish he'd drop off the face of the earth.