Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I was with an emotional and financial abuser for 5 years. I met him very shortly after my husband had died and he had a good story about how his life was in a mess and blah blah. He was shortly living in my house, involved in my finances and giving lots of advise. He had bad relationships with all his family, worked as a handyman and was a jewelry artist. We spent tons of my money and credit cards on jewelry supplies. I was also working as a Marketing Director. Got laid off from my job and he had a great idea to move us back east where he had some family, of course I went along with it. We arrived in Virginia and right away the honeymoon was over. He was constantly berating me about being lazy and not wanting to find employment, I was on unemployment that was paying our bills and cashed out all 401K and savings (but of course that never was the case I was selfish) split up got back together and on and on. Honeymoon phase again and want s to move to NY where he is from, good story about the cost of living, quiet country etc. My money again paid. Started the jewelry business again that I paid for, ran the business did the shows and all the computer work. But of course I didn't do it right. I was totally isolated by a dairy farm and knew no one and he would say you need to keep away from these people. He didn't pay the payments on my car like he said he woudl so guess what, car repo, so now I was really stuck. Sometimes he was a doll and other times totally crazy but had me believing I was the crazy one. To make a long story short finally went on a trip in April to visit my family and never went back. Now in counseling for abuse. He has moved on just fine. My life is a mess and I am hurt and angry. My self esteem is very low and I am trying one day at a time to build my life back again. This man almost drove me crazy. When I got here I was on anxiety meds, my hair was falling out and I was totally depressed. After 7 months I am kinda getting better but this is the most difficult journey I have ever been on.
Asking for comments and suggestions. I am on the Physical and Emotional Abuse track daily. Thanks for listening.
Asking for comments and suggestions. I am on the Physical and Emotional Abuse track daily. Thanks for listening.
It is difficult. But every day you get through is a victory and a step on the journey. Just keep taking those steps forward.
I'm so sorry you are living this, but you WILL survive and come out a stronger better person. Be kind to yourself, and give YOURSELF the love that you need to express. It isn't easy but neither is it impossible.
Now that they're out of my life, it seems so clear, but back when I was under the spell of their dark magic...I just couldn't see what they were doing to me. They can be so compelling with their smooth talk and all the words of love. My sister used to keep saying how much she loved me. But when you're under their thumb as you were in that rural setting...out comes Mr. or Ms. Hyde.
I'm guessing you feel ashamed now for not fighting back...that's how I feel. But the fault is all theirs, not ours.
My advice...keep telling yourself that. You did nothing to deserve all that abuse and the shame is all on your abuser. Keep reminding yourself that you're the good guy in this situation...a capable, good-hearted person who fell into a trap...happens to the best of us.
Seven months is good progress. It's been years for me and I'm still a mess in many ways. Any progress at all is good progress.
Each one over here has suffered same kind of abuse only we realized it when we finally went out or were thrown out of this psychopathic relationship. I lost my job, had an abortion , went into depression, weight l
ss, loss of apetite and hairfall. above all lost peace, self respect and trust becuase of one man and his sick manipulations. It has started to get better but I still have a long way to go to heal.
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Just like farmflower said that It isnt you and you have been victimized. We fail to see the red flags initially when we meet the man of our dreams who knows exactly how to make us happy. This man who is incapable of feeling any emotion mirrors our emotions to grab us. He typically makes his victim pass through the phase of idealization and love bombing in which he tries everything in his power to make his victim fall in his trap of so called love. Then the devaluation phase when he makes her believe that she has flaws and faults and he is the only gentleman who is bearing it. He takes away from her what he resents the most, her power, her job, maybe her good qualities, making her sound inappropriate and crazy. The same qualities that he admires turn into her faults and defects. Then the Discard phase where he abandons her cold heartedly without even looking back at her, and leaves the victim bankrupt, lonely and miserable. he moves towards with a new victim in a blink of an eye while you struggle for your dear life. The sad part is that he does it without the sense of any guilt or remorse. He might come back occasionally just to drain her a bit more.
Welcome you have been introduced to a human vampire , The psycho/ sociopath, who feeds on human emotions by manipulations and alot of lies.
This is what we have been through, I have been through.
The important thing that we all realize( thanks to friends here and the sites of psycho/sociopathic and N awareness) is to know as much as you can about them. I am still doing it and it is helping me into healing. Read and know that it was not you fault. you were victimized by a maniac who looked like a normal person and who was capable of extreme form of destruction. You were victim of a big game player and be glad that you are still sane enough to write here and are on a journey towards healing.
After learning about my P, I am finally seeing that it was not my fault, that I had been hit by a train, that how much I need to work upon myself, that I should love myself. He is attracted to us because we have feelings, emotions empathy, that he is incapable of.
Read, Read and Read and learn more about them. This will help you in your journey toward healing.
When I feel that I need to vent, when I have my bad days, I come to this forum where friends are ready to help you any time.
Remember he is not happy, no matter what picture he is trying to portray, he is not, he does not have the capability to be happy. He will continue to victimize people and he will die a lonely death ( I hope mine does).
Get into No contact, block him from everything. You need this for your own peace of mind.
Hugs :)