I am so sorry for your pain. There is such a thing as parental alienation, & smear campaigns by a sociopath. If they brainwash us & destroy us, then they can point to the mess left behind & use it as a free pass for their bad behavior. I am so glad for the internet, where I have been able to find so much information, as well as online support. It is quite a process to build a life again after the aftermath of a relationship like this. One of the best things I have heard is "the best revenge is living well." I am still deep into my journey figuring out what exactly that is.

I have been to several different 12 step groups, both face-to-face & online. Each one has helped a different part of my recovery, but no one group has been the answer for everything. Different groups are in different stages of recovery. One slogan that has helped me tremendously is "one day at a time." My sponsor has recently said to me "what is the one next best thing you can do right now?" These things have helped me to not be overwhelmed by the swath of disaster that has blown through my life.

Again, I am very sorry for your pain. This is a difficult season. Between student loans worries, wondering where my career should go, & wishing I could get a couple of new tops - I get that. Just wanted to say that I saw your post & that I'm pulling for you.

Yes, the judges don't understand Ns and Ps. In my very messy divorce, involving a custody dispute too, the judge gave my ex basically everything he wanted, except for custody. The psych evaluation I requested saved the day. But still I don't think the judge has any idea who my ex was and what his role was in the disintigration of our marriage, our assets, and our lives. My ex also tried to alienate me from the kids and also from his family, but it did not work long-term. They show their colors. His behavior got worse post-divorce to the point that nobody could really ignore it any more.

Regarding moving beyond a bachelor's degree in psychology, could you TA or RA to pay for further tuition? You might use this time away from your kids to do double duty and finish your education, so if things go south with your ex, you'll be able to be there for them. That would also help you feel better. Once you get out of poor student mode, it all becomes more worthwhile. Is there any kind of tie-in between a psych degree and RN -- like nursing in a psych facility or something that would pay better?

Here's hoping you can find a way to persevere and come out well.

maybe you could go to your schools counselor and see what suggestions they might have for your education too. don't give up on your AA meetings because they don't understand , no one understands unless they have been through a relationship like this. there can be good support in AA. something you need right now. don't give up I know things seem dark right now, but the sociopath does screw up sooner or later and you need to be well and fight for your children.

I had a Sociopath in my life as well for ten years. You all know the deal. The manipulation, lies, stealing. I had never trusted someone else as much before. And I was brainwashed. He played a con on me that he only knew about and lied to everyone else around me. He pushed his old life experiences on to me and tried to pick up on mine. He was keeping track of everything. For the things that may not of happened he made up. I did not know a thing until a year after it was over. He had me pushed out of work Leaving me unemployable, broke, homeless all at middle age. That's their envy. I was kind to him and his family for all that time and he was conning me to make sure I had a horrible life. Is this a joke. I did not know people like that were in this word. People who just destroy for their own gain. I am still having a hard time dealing with it all after many years. For know the best thing I can say is that I left the area and stayed away from everyone he has contact with. Ten years of my life that was all meaning less. He is fake and will always be that, even though he really believes different. Sociopaths are only ten years old and play games like a ten year old. That's how they get by in a adult world. I may have a life that I did not expect but I am real. For all of you, you are going through the hardest time of your life but you are a real, try to use that as strength to get by every day. My god bless you.

There are alternatives to AA.
Women For Sobriety-for the unique issues women face with alcohol
SMART Recovery
SOS Secular Organizations For Sobriety
LifeRing Secular Recovery
Moderation Management

There are other choices besides the "you are powerless" and "higher power" programs.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your struggles, but I can't say I have any better advice than the others.

I also was in school while dealing with both a psycho exH and a BF who I never really consider a soc until reading this forum. I just thought he was narcissistic. I gave up going to college in my dd's junior year of HS to focus on getting her to go. I did have a job at least. Even though my dd lived with me her father smeared me so much that it was almost like she took over where he left off. It was a struggle and misery doing everything for a child who only hates you for not being able to provide the best of everything like 300 $ shoes while her father barely paid a dime in child support and the courts wouldn't touch him.

I'm living in a house that is falling apart thanks to the exBF. Cannot afford the repairs, can't sell it. Currently living without running water.

My career without a degree is unstable, yet I'm doing the job of someone who has a masters degree.

I'm very sorry for what you are going through, it is not something people can understand if they haven't been through it. I am taking it day by day.

June 1 I left my maniac ex and moved back to the house but i still gave him a chance i went threw respit with
him when that would not make him better took him to hospital they formed him but released him the next day
with meds i stuck by him thru this all. A week later we were cuddling on the couch he was telling me how much he loved me we had been drinking so i dont know what was said that triggered his temper i went looking for my purse and next thing i no he threw me down i am claustrophobic i bit him on the upper arm and tried to kick him in the man parts he punched me in the side of the head he got up and ran to the door saying he was calling cops i said go ahead i ran to the balcony and jumped off of it.He was arrested for forcible confinement
and assault.

Have you gotten your kids back?

I know 2 sociopaths who got custody of their kids just to get that final control over their exes. They, of course, can't even take care of themselves, let alone kids. Their kids are completely screwed up now.

I strongly believe that judges and prosecutors need to go through rigorous training on psychopaths because they suck at spotting them. You'd think that dealing with them on a regular basis, they'd figure it out. In my experience, they haven't. The courts are the sociopath's playground.