What did your friend mean with that? Its your Ps own fault that he made you say bad name over phone. They abuse us and drive us crazy. And our reactions are just what the Ps want to see in us.

I felt bad slamming the door after my exS abused me but I keep saying that he abused me, with own choice. And anger will jump out from an abused women from time to time, its inevitable.

I am sorry too, morgan, as EyesOpened say it must have stung. Those who havent been in our shoes cannot possibly understand what it means to have been abused by a P.

Forgotten you are right. People do not know the level of pain and bonding that goes with it. The love bombing and cycle of abuse that twists our insides . They cant understand what it does to a person. There is this thing called trauma bonding.

Dragonfly, yes, the P turns kind and loving and throw us some crunches of loveafter an abusive period, to keep us hooked and so the trauma bonding occurs. To us, these kind moments makes us feel grateful towards the abuser. Our abuser becomes both our tormentor and the rescuer. A horrible place to be.

I mean to write "love" with quotation marks

it's hardly a balance is it? .. your friend is an idiot (sorry)

8) eyesopened ... I thought it was a pretty stupid thing to say to anyone .. never mind someone on the receiving end of any kind of abuse .. with friends like that, you don't need enemies

I agree.

I agree, it was ridiculous to say.

@morgan: I had a "friend" like that once. She called me "mean" for going NC with an xN because contact with him made me physically ill. Turned out she's bipolar and was defending his as well as her own personality disorder....trying to make me feel obligated to let him get away with tormenting me the way she torments her husband. Perhaps your friend is also personality disordered?

I wonder if people who try to provoke others are personality disordered?