Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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lovechild2011 01/31/2015

My ex SP thinks I won and has said it. I had the baby when he couldn't manipulate/bully me into termination. I got child support when again he couldn't manipulate me out of it. So in the end, he "left" me and never acknowledged our child but I got his money and kid both which he didn't want. He tried relentlessly to get his monthly support back. Tried to tell me that he would only be a dad if I did etc
Said I could "have him" if I stopped the support etc. I was.so close to dropping the support bug just in time the OW contacted and I learned that he had been lying about everything. So he ran. Last thing he told me was "I know you don't care but it means a lot to me that you know I hate you". That was it. Maybe I did win? I don't see it that way because my heart was broken and child.left without a father but I think that my ex SP really believes I "beat" him at his game. He couldn't get me to acquiesce. Did I win?

kris7167 01/31/2015

It really doesn't matter, lovechild, because winning has no place in love or relationships. When you get this toxic man out of your system, you will stop thinking in his terms altogether.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

I agree but I, sickly, find it pleasurable to think he didn't win against me. It wasn't love to him -it was a conquest a game. So I can meet him on that level. And if I do, I think maybe he thinks I won and I like that.

kris7167 01/31/2015

If you helps get you through this, enjoy the thought. The way in which you did win is that he is out of your life.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

I don't think I was clear. I do NOT think I won nor did I want to "win". I meant more like in HIS mind it is a game and I think HE feels I won and that I like.

kris7167 01/31/2015

I did get that. There will come a time when you don't care about what is in his mind, but it does take a while to get there.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

Oh yes exactly. It's only been three months out of the 5 year ordeal so it's very fresh and raw. I can't wait for the day that I don't ruminate and obsess about all of it.
My biggest fear is that when I do get there - he will pop back up... remember I have his kid...

kris7167 01/31/2015

lovechild. When you no longer care, he probably WILL pop back up. He wants to keep all of his dying flowers in a state of entropy. However, by the time he does pop his snake head out of the ground, you will no longer care.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

So well said. He always said, " you need to NOT want me to be a father". In other words, I won't do what you want me to do, I will do what I want when I want.
It's just sick because I got so dependent and addicted to him for my self worth that I played the game. I ended up looking just as crazy, well not quite, as he did.
He left our child because it would "ruin" his image of a "great" guy..most people see him that way. That he's just a great guy. If they know he had this child out of wedlock and his wife left him bed user of it -it would destroy his image. He told everyone that his wife just "abandoned" him one day and left..no reason why she left. He was always the victim! Always.
Oh that's one other way I " destroyed" him. He blames me, really feels, that I ruined his marriage. She left him when I filed support.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

Not bed user - because of

kris7167 01/31/2015

Psychopaths will always do the opposite of whatever the partner wants them to do. This is their idea of love. It's anti-love. Obviously, if you do love someone, you want to do things that will make them happy.

And of course, the results of his own actions are everyone else's fault. That is another condition of life in the psychopath world.

In fact, he has created all of these conditions in his life.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

That is where I still get "stuck" with the brainwashing. If I loved him, Luke I said I did, I would've not had the baby or filed support because that would have made him.happy. Make sense? His messed up way of thinking still affects me all the time. Like I have a hard time thinking he did me "wrong" because I did him "wrong" with having the baby.

lovechild2011 01/31/2015

Like not Luke

kris7167 01/31/2015

You cannot do someone wrong by getting pregnant unless you are a truly devious and calculating person which I believe you are not. Pregnancy happens when a man and woman are being intimate and, sometimes that is inconvenient for one or both partners.

And then you have a baby and a third, very helpless, very vulnerable person is in the equation and sorry for him (not really), but now, everything is not about him. Nor should it have been before you were pregnant. You are a person, too. It is not a good thing for anyone or for the world when one person gives love without receiving any back. It stops the necessary flow of love in the world. It even stops yours.

lovechild2011 02/01/2015

Devious is poking a whole in a condom. There was none of that. The first two I terminated. The 3rd I couldn't. Now is that is trickery well I digress. ..

lovechild2011 02/01/2015

Hole not whole....ha!

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