Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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Manipulative Message

avram1965
avram1965
This is from the person I identified as a "Catfish". She sent this to me yesterday on the eve of her 50th birthday. She had claimed to be 30 and used others' photographs to enhance the illusion.

What can you discern from the tone and content of the message? Other than it being her birthday, it was totally random. I had blocked all her communications, I thought, for the last 2+ months.

"I am not sure if you will even get this, but I just wanted to say that I hope you find happiness in your life...everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that! I spent a few weeks in the hospital, but I am fine now. I met a very sweet, kind, gentle man on Valentines Day no less. I have never been so happy in my life. Kind of scares the shit out of me!!! The way he looks into my eyes makes me ache. And yes, I finally got to make love...real love! I miss our talks the most you know. We should have just stayed friends. I truly want nothing but happiness for us both. Love and Kisses.
jenkat3
jenkat3
she's trying to make you jealous, mad........no sane person says those things.......my ex soc would send me random texts after i went no contact to tell me how great his life was going....and by the way, she most likely is making it all up, you never know when they are lying, but it's most of the time
deleted_user
deleted_user
Agreed! Do not respond and get sucked into her game. You will eventually lose. People like this are SICK!!
avram1965
avram1965
Every sentence, every word of that message is full of manipulation and lies. I caused her to be hospitalized. Right. But she's not holding it against me. How kind of her. She met the man of her dreams who has made her the happiest she has ever been (happier than I made her). She made love to him, real love (she claimed to have only had sex with a couple of men in her life). Trying to make me jealous much? We could still talk...but as friends...the type that say goodbye with "Love and Kisses!"
bellanomore
bellanomore
she is trying to get to you and make you crazy. its so obvious and it works so thats why they do it. thats why they say no contact so you dont have those crazy reactions that make you want to throw up. this is probably all a lie anyways. try really hard to see this without emotion. she is hitting every one of your buttons with this msg. i would write back and say...oh im so happy you have found someone. period. i know, no contact. but sometimes having the last words brings much power. i completely agree no one in their right mind would say these kind of things to someone who is sad. she is not even who you thought she was, see her for who she really is. there is nothing to love or lose. screw her. remember she wants you to react. dont give her the satisfaction.
avram1965
avram1965
After I received the text, I called her. She was surprised and had to adjust to her seductive voice that she puts on. I told her that I would only communicate with her if she acknowledged her lies and took responsibility for them. She said "I just want us to be happy." I then started listing the specific lies, including the photos she stole from the model's website. She kept repeating "I just want us to be happy." Finally, she asked to end the conversation, and I obliged.

She later texted me again, and I responded "to thine own self be true."
Pavlova29
Pavlova29
Avram, that was a manipulative message and it is probably riddled with lies. The general rule seems to be no contact, but sometimes I wonder if it would make me feel better. I have not been given an opportunity to respond to him at all since he ended it and that is killing me. Of course, I would never be as dignified and calm as you appear to be in your responses. I have only the ugliest things to say and I want so badly to let him know that I know he played me and lied to me.
avram1965
avram1965
Pavlova: I wasn't as dignified as it might appear. I had to rub it in that she used the names of her actual children and sister as characters in the whole play and that when she created a fake FB profile for her sister, she spelled her last name wrong.

Again, I did not seek the contact. She called me because it was her 50th birthday (even though she had told me she was 30) and wanted me to see how great she was doing. Manipulative purpose, riddled with lies as you say. I haven't heard from her since, but I expect I will when her current "supply" disappoints her.
bellanomore
bellanomore
pavlova, the point where you dont react or feel angry with them in responses is the day you really dont a give a damn anymore and that day will come i promise but until then its best to not contact them. they know already what they have done to you and how much they have hurt you without telling them sop they do this on purpose. it is very intentional and calculated on there part and they are relying on your reaction. remember this if you can just deal with them and show no emotion to them you are steps way ahead of the game. there is nothing that drives them more crazy then a non responsive attitude coming from you. so no contact is best until you can show absolutely no emotion. emotions are something they dont have normal ranges of and they count on you having them and reacting so with them. dont.
spiritsprout
spiritsprout
avram, She's definitely a disturbed individual. And, I'm guessing she's victimized many people. Is there any way you can block her calls and texts, and block her on FB? What I've found is abusers are like bad pennies... they keep turning up. And, as bella said, a nonresponsive attitude is best. It's a means of protecting yourself from her and her manipulations. My advice is to put her in your rear view mirror and don't look back. Best of luck, and I hope she never contacts you again.
Pavlova29
Pavlova29
Avram, i still think it is pretty decent when I compare what I would like to do and say to this person. Bella, I know I can't contact him. I really don't plan to. He has not contacted me once, and I think I am pretty sure he will never contact me. One of his traits is steadfastness so he will stick to something even if it hurts not make contact.
avram1965
avram1965
Don't judge yourself, Pavlova. Every case is different. You feelings are what they are because of what you went through which is different than what I went through, and probably worse.

I think it is much better to want to take revenge on him than to want to get back together with him.