I survived 20 years with my s/p,and have a child with him. We are divorced now and have very little contact. You are right it does get better as time goes on. I still wish he would move away or drop off the planet. But i am a lot less angry and bitter not knowing whom else he is manipulating. Stay buisy, and seek out interactions with friends.

yes in the beginning you will feel like it will never get better but with tie it does. it really does . the truth sets you free in a way like never before. it takes time but it does come to you. its been a year this month for me and I thought I was going to die at first. but with time it gets better. peace all

mtumotr,,,,I think this was the worst pain in my life over all the things that have happened to me so just know your not alone. this is a lesson that the statement " no pain, no gain " applies to, unfortunately but you will come out the other end of this with a whole new knowledge about who you are and about the fact that there are bad people out there in the world and I especially want to get the point across that evil is all over the internet especially sociopaths so don't ever go looking there for love . people will portray themselves to be what ever you want them to be and the odds on a dating website that they are lying to you about many things is probably about 99 %. so don't ever believe a word on a profile half the time its a scammer and not even the same person in the picture. the internet is a sociopaths playground. beware from now on. but yes I promise you it does get better. I met my ex online too just so you don't think your the only one. a lot of us on here have met them there. so please learn your lesson this time and save yourself more hurt. I invested 4 years to find out it was just a bunch of lies in the end. that hurts but looking back I was a perfect target. I wont be a target ay longer . just keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will get easier in time and you will become someone new and not so vulnerable to the bad in the world. you will be better off in the end and you will see that soon.

And look how far you have come Bella .. from the brink of despair to a much stronger person. From someone who was angry and confused by the mess he made of your life to the obtaining of enlightenment which will make you smarter in your future choices about the other people you allow into your life. You have drawn the positives from a devastatingly traumatic experience and have fought back to regain most of the person you really are. (I don't think we ever glue back together as exactly the same person, some parts of us are changed forever). I hope you will be out on the town celebrating your 1 year of freedom!! 8)

It will get better, it really will. It just takes time. I too got targeted by a sociopath con online and married him, it was traumatic, even we never got to be physical together, except for when we met. I though I would die too, just like bella said, but I didnt and by time, after being angry, devastated, in shock, tortured for 3 weeks, it was nothing left of me, I had given up because I knew what next to expect during the emotional torture, then slowly after crying,not eating and not sleeping normal, I slowly got myself out of the numbness, the pain was great, I didnt think I would ever love again and never get over him, but IT DID GET BETTER. Unfortunately a new sociopath targeted me when I was vulnerable.

We must not give up. And internet dating in dangerous, one has to be careful. Very careful!

Bella, you have come far, this is great! I hope we all by time will have the sun shining again in our lives. We wont be the same, but we can make healthy choices and not let anyone misuse and abuse us again.

I thought I would never love again*