No, Morgan, it is not your fault. Nothing you did or could have done is your fault!!! You could of gone to his new wife and warned her and trust me! She wouldn't of had believed you. I could see it! She would of confronted him about you, and he would have made up a LIE to sabotage your efforts to save her from him.

I know women who make up lies to cover for their husbands. It's sick!

Who knows what was going on in their relationship.?. I think it's best to stay out of people's relationships, but it's my opinion. Maybe she found out who he really was...maybe she found his mask? and became exposed to the horrific monster and threatened to leave him... which led him to this selfish desperate act.

There was nothing you could have done, Morgan. This situation was out of your hands. Stop beating yourself up over this! This was NOT your fault!!!

No, No, and No. I have listed just a few of characteristics below that I have pulled off a website. Just remind yourself that these characteristics are why you are not at fault. How on earth could you compete with this? I have actually had people tell me that it is MY fault for putting up with his crap.....I KNOW in my heart that it WAS NOT my fault and I acted with the best intentions. I was no match for him! You were no match either!

Manipulating: Sociopaths believe that much can be achieved by conning and manipulating others. In that direction, they waste no time in convincing others about their malicious ideas. They do so by putting on their charm and using clever wordplay. They victimize the other person as though he is an object to be used for implementing their plans.

Compulsive Liars: Sociopaths have a boundless capacity to lie. It all begins when they lie to hide something and then continue lying to cover their web of lies. Since they are incapacitated to feelings and emotions, they do not understand the impact of compulsive lying. If they are caught lying, sociopaths are clever at changing the subject by blaming someone else and escaping the situation. In fact, most sociopaths are so clever at lying that they pass lie detector tests too. Which is why, criminals who are sociopaths rarely end up in prisons.

Radiating Charm: Sociopaths have a highly charming personality and they know how to use it perfectly to cover up all their manipulative ways. They can be very amusing, carefree and lively when they want to be, and it is these traits that draws people to them. Once people are drawn to them and they can influence them, they use these 'friends' for varied acts.

no way, it was not your fault !!!!!!!!! believe that and try to move forward with your own life guilt free. there is nothing you could have done no matter what your mind is telling you, this was not about or because of you.

How was it your fault? You were *targeted* by him because of your good qualities, it's not your fault that you are who you are. I'm sure that you are positively reeling after this tragic event and I don't doubt that you are totally shocked and stunned at what an absolute lucky escape you have had! A trauma that should have you looking for symptons of ptsd (big time)

What are we meant to do to deflect attention from these bastards? .. behave like ball breaking banshees? Nothing you could have done would have prevented his behaviour, these people are a runaway train out of control, god help anything that gets in their way.

I used to think that too, but then again, he manipulated me so badly that I didn´t evan realize he pulled all the strings....

No, not at all. He manipulated you. Mirrored you, selling you back yourself to lure you in. Before you know it, bang you are involved with what you think is Mr Perfect.

It's only when you are emotionally involved that you start to realise the truth.... :( I think you were the person who wrote before - did you see someone about PTSD?

I certainly think its the parents' fault, and a lousy upbringing by lousy parents, that most people get hooked up with sociopaths.

My evil mom and my idiot-wimp dad certainly reason enough idiot-wimp me put up with a sociopath girlfriend.

An online "pschology today' article even notes how some parents dont teach their kids to set boundries for themselves

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201304/weeks-top-posts-3/daughters-unloving-mothers-7-common-wounds

yep penn many abused kids end up with psychopath later in life because they dont realie wha theyre worth or they become a floormat

Definitely not! If you are a fool then so are the rest of us!
No, I think that the more compassionate we are, the more empathic, the more vulnerable, the more likely they are to hone in on us. Even if you don't feel confident and assertive, you must ACT as if you are. To everyone. That will be our armour. You will be appreciated by decent, honest people but the P/S/N's will run a mile! Don't be lied to! Tell them you are not a fool, to treat you with respect. This is not what psycho's want to hear.
You will be feeling guilty about this other lady but that is natural. If you had said anything she wouldn't have believed you. It is time you concentrated on yourself.

yes, turkeyprincess, 'floormat" was my middle name for most of my life, not only because of my parents, but also because of school teachers.

"when I was a kid"....teachers could slap you across the face, and they did that to class clown me, enough times, in front of other students, making sure to beat me into submission.

my creepy parents, and slap-happy teachers, paved the way for my sociopath, with the sociopath seeming very part of my "norm"

I struggle with this a lot too. Was it my fault (too)? This happens mostly becasue I'm married and when the sociopath entered into my life, my relationship with my husband was going through some tough times (emotionally/spiritually). He is a wonderful man, but for some reason we just "lost"contact somehow... The communication level was pretty low so here comes along the "perfect" guy/friend who behaves as he would listen to my worries and frustrations and help and do whatever he can to help me and my marriage. He gives me all the attention in the world, is always caring and very helpful, very good with the kids (our children used to be very close and play a lot together; this is how he actually manipulated me a lot: whenever I "called" for distance he always used the kids playing together as a way to get in contact with me and of course I gave in. Once I felt that I'm falling for him, I told him right away, saying that this is very dangerous and I don't want nobody to suffer because of this, so we can only be friends. Of course he didn't accept my offer, and he did everything possible (through mind games) to make me unbelievably fall in love with him. I still wonder myself, after telling me all those horrible things (I started a topic with this: top 15 the worse things the sociopath said/did) I still fought to make him my friend. On the other hand everybody who was into such situation knows what a sociopathic charm means. I was like in a vortex. It was the perfect drug. The perfect dream. The perfection of the perfection.