Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Does it seem there is always a dark cloud over us? As of lately I have become very angry with my ex S. I have been in therapy for the last year and 1/2 figuring things out about myself and him. I realize i am textbook codependent. I have allowed this man to ruin me financially, while draining me mentally on this merry go round I couldn't seem to get off. I realize he is textbook sociopath that is a user and the devil. I have finally to the place where I am able to stand up to him. I finally got to the place where I don't want this relationship anymore and I don't want to take any more of his emotional abuse or bull crap. I bought a condo and this is a big step for me. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Everything is forward march. Before I know it, my cousin who has 5 children and a husband who absolutely adores her came to me with really bad news. Her husband suddenly went into cardiac arrest and passed at age 48 and left her and the kids. They have now come to live with us at my mom's house, which put my move on hold. We get through that and they find a massive blockage in my mom's artery and she has to have heart surgery which put my move on hold. In the midst of this I am fighting with the ex to get his car out of my name. He hasn't been paying his insurance and it comes directly from my bank account. I already took out a loan from my 4 01K for him that he is not paying back. Every 2 weeks they take a little over 200 until it is paid. I told him he has until Wednesday to get me the plates and my money or I report the car stolen. Feeling pretty proud that I could set this boundary. Tonight I get home and learn my paycheck will be garnished approximately 300 every 2 weeks because my student loan is in default. Maybe I'm having a pity party but I feel i can't get a break. Is it just me?
Welcome to the site. You have come to the right place.
I don't know why, but problems seem to rain down upon people who are tryng to move forward. I have needed thousands of dollars worth of dental work since I left my sociopath last August, I, too, have had family crises. I had to file criminal charges against my sociopath during these past few months in order to send the message that I would not tolerate his ongoing smear campaign in my community. I lost personal belongings in my hasty departure, and I have faced financial setbacks.
I have seen these crises happen to other people who are leaving a sociopath or attempting to make some move in a right direction. Maybe the balance of evil has been upset and forces are being unleashed to push you backwards.
Whatever, it is, it will pass and you will move forward. Good for you, taking action to get his debts off you. You can do this. You are doing it.
I think one of the main sources of my grief has been the way my friends handled all of this. I was blamed for being "dramatic" and that I "asked for it". My friends receded like the tide and I'm dealing with the loneliness of spending a lot of time alone, a very foreign experience. Because of the PTSD, It's easy to isolate, even for one that is an extrovert.
I finally put up the white flag and started on anti-depressants last week. This kind of trauma can cause neurotransmitter problems and this thing had become bigger than me. As my compassionate doc told me, "You just can't muscle your way through this type of thing". It's been like sludging my way through mud on a daily basis.
I'm also looking into "brainspotting".