No. The last guy I dated was OCPD and possibly AvPD and maybe even a little BPD. He abandoned all 3 of his kids. One of them he didn't even meet until recently, when she was 19. He alienates everyone from his life by giving the silent treatment and breaking every commitment he makes. So none of the 3 adult kids will talk to him now. He was only in communication with that last one for a brief moment. And of course it's all their fault. He doesn't take responsibility for any of it. And both mothers of these children also abandoned them. So all 3 were raised by grandparents (his parents and the other daughter's grandma). He moved many miles away so he really had nothing to do with the 2 his parent's raised. They were younger than 5 when he left. Their mother (his wife) had gone to prison.

So the short answer is "no." I think any PD person can abandon their kids. Actually, the cluster C's are the ones with the hardest time connecting to anyone and maintaining relationships. So they are probably most likely to abandon their families. Schizoids don't want families to begin with. OCPDs are very likely to be estranged from their kids (like this guy I dated). It's not uncommon at all for them.

Maybe that's it; they all have a PD. I find it to be the strangest phenomenon. I just can't imagine turning my back on a child of mine - even I didn't want/plan them. It's against everything I know as a human.

You see him as a child , but for your ex he is your way to get to him and his way to get to you.
Are all the people who gave up their children emotionally detached and at peace with their decision? Probably not. I love how they give these examples and justify themselves through other people's wrongdoings and failures.
I don't know you , but somehow by thinking logically and reading your posts I conclude that it wasn't sperm theft. He had control too.
Does it really matter if all the selfish and egocentric people are PSN or just the PSN are all selfish and egocentric?
It's cruel and immoral. That's it. If it was o.k and socially acceptable then he wouldn't be making up an excuse for that.
I know dads who abandoned their children with

I would say that denying a child (my ex denies my daughter is his) or abandoning a child takes a complete lack of empathy and responsibility . The child isn't useful to them so they don't bother with them, suddenly the child suits a purpose so they become a father ....then they do a u turn when it gets inconvenient and there you have it ....the parenting style of the narcissist and sp. Probably a whole lot of other PDs too.

It's taken me a year nearly to wrap my head around the idea that my ex can get up and live each day not knowing if his child is ok, what she looks like, what her first words were or if she's walking. I understand your feelings completely lovechild. My ex knows that she is his daughter but denying her suits his purpose to the outside world as this way he gets to walk away without blame or responsibility.

What kind of evil twisted people can do this? I thank God every day for the smile on my daughter's face and the confidence she has, the sp wouldn't want this happiness or confidence because to them it's all about usage and control. So that is a bad life for a child. You are blessed your ex has walked away, the anger and resentment you feel will fade in time.

The window dressing of your exes relationship will one day just collapse and the truth will be there, I don't buy what the OW says at all about him as a parent. He will enjoy triangulating you and her as well as the children, it's just a sick game to the types. That's why it's better to opt out and leave them to it, you are a great mother and You will find peace and happiness for you and your child.

Strength and Dana - both spot on. Thank you.
Some days are so hard. So sad. My son is 3 now and dad has never been involved. It just doesn't seem to get better or easier on my heart.
My child ex inconvenient for him. Didn't fit the image he has. So sad. What I'm struggling with the most is I can't grieve. Everyone keeps asking me if I have. I don't think I have. If I cry: I may never stop. Haven't heard a word from dad in months and I'm still staring at my phone all day waiting for the smallest sign that he maybe cares. It's killing me. I don't reach out because that will give him pleasure but I sit here day after day waiting for him to call. I don't know how to stop.

I'm having such a hard time not contacting. I just feel sick and obsessed. Like a strung out junkie. I want and need this feeling to end.

The early days of no contact were so painful so I understand, it was a physical pain in my chest the sadness and heartbreak. And yet having to function as mum and prepare meals and be there emotionally for your child, the sleepless nights when they are sick. Knowing that the father is having a good life with someone else, it's very difficult.

My ex contacted me a lot after I left, not for good reason though. He wanted to finish the job off, in his eyes I hadn't been broken enough, I could still talk although he made damn sure I looked as crazy as anything.

The thing that helped me through was knowing how detrimental it would be for my child if he were in her life. I couldn't bear it. The other thing is, if he was to contact you would it really change anything? It's like breaking an addiction, your mind will play tricks and you will feel a need to speak to him but when you wait a while the rationality comes and it gets easier. The first step of addiction recovery is acceptance, I honestly think the p is an addiction and They created a craving we have for them.

Strength- I agree 100%. Complete addiction - no doubt about it. Was talking to a friend today and she asked me what contact from him would do for me. The answer came easily, "confirm my existence". That's what I want. Negative or positive, I don't care. I don't want him but his dismissal and abandonment almost make me feel like I don't exist. It's excruciating.

Love, we have a lot of commonalities in our children's fathers. My son's dad abandoned him after I ended our romantic relationship. I discovered the lying and cheating and knew we had come to an end. I was 2 months pregnant. We had sporadic communications over the next 4 months with most conversations consisting of me crying and upset that he was so hands off in my pregnancy. I never had expected him to abandon a child that we had both planned. But I knew that I was dealing with an N when he did in fact abandon his son, before and after birth. You see, I was not going to marry him, live with him and take care of him, provide him with a step into a new life, so once my usefulness was gone and he knew I would not change my mind, he left for good. On to new opportunities I suppose. I finished the pregnancy without one word from him, labored and delivered without him despite him making all of these plans to stay with me in the hospital and creating this beautiful movie in his head. None of it was followed through on. I have not heard one word from him even though our son is now a year old. He is a spitting image of his dad. I do not hate his dad and just want him to love our son. I have no interest in rehashing one thing from our failed romance. I want him to call and ask about him, when he is older tell him he loves him, take him fishing, send a birthday card. Very simple things. I know I will not get that from him and it hurts A LOT! My heart hurts so badly for our son. If there was one thing I could change it would be to give my son his father, one that actually loved him. The one thing I want is the one thing I cannot do a thing to change. It sucks! I know how you feel. I would be lying if I said I have excepted this fully. I tell people IRL that I have, but deep down I hold onto some miniscule hope that he will one day show a genuine and non-damaging interest. That the man that I "knew" before the truth came out will appear again but he will be real. I miss that man. I do not focus on this everyday and I am not obsessed with him and nor would I resume a relationship with him if given a chance, but I still dream that it may happen even though I know logically that it cannot. I don't know what the answer is but in the meantime I am grateful for the beautiful son I get to raise every single day. He is the biggest joy I have ever had in my life. That is what my ex left me with....an incredible gift. And I just cannot waste the beauty of that. Everyday that I spend wondering and waiting to start our life is a day that I cheat my son.....and I will not cheat him, even one day. So I ignore the feelings. I don't know if this is right but it is how I cope for right now. I am happy and I have a good life. These things cannot be forgotten. I hope this helps somewhat.

*accepted (lol)

Live - it does help and I know we have somewhat similar situations. I don't want a relationship with my ex at all. Like you, I just want for my son. I also know it.will never happen.
I just wish I could let go of the hope - entirely. I hate holding on to that for my son. Your ex is Jerk - you didn't even support on him. I did and my ex hates me for it. I needed it. I have another kid as well - who is older with a very active dad. So sad for my little guy.
I just want to not care. Mine abandoned me through the pregnancy as well. I was on my own and still am three years later. Live, you seem so strong. I'm happy for you. I can be totally honest that most days I wish I had not made the decision I did. The guilt erodes me. I love my son son dearly but I wish I had made different choices..it is hard to admit that or say it out loud. It will not affect my parenting as I'm aware of the feelings and working through them. I just hate this feeling of not existing for me and my son. I feel like I want my ex to contact us so I can feel like I exist