First things first, this is my very first time, I joined last night and it's very weird and...different, for lack of a better word. Never did I imagine I would seek a support group to help me process the last few months of my life. Sigh....

So, long story short, was in a relationship for almost 2 years and about 2 months ago it finally came to a head on collision and I ended up walking away from the man I have loved more than I could ever imagine myself being capable of.

A few months ago I found out he cheated because I contracted and std (gonorrhea)

And let me just say, that his response was totally..........in line with who I now believe he is. He basically tried to convince me that I gave it to him and that I cheated and that I was a horrible person and he basically shut me out without ever giving me any answers. The kicker is that we had planned on moving in together and I had stupidly (again, in hindsight) gave him 15k dollars of mine. Although we always had problems, and always said he was the meanest, most unattached, heartless person I had ever know, I still never could have imagined he would basically disappear with no reason, no explanation and no remorse. I have been going crazy trying to figure out how someone who claimed to love me so much could just destroy my life like this. For a month I begged, like embarrassingly begged and said I would do anything if he just would please return my money as I am a single mother and I have no family to help me, that was my safety net, my savings for a future for my children. But nothing. This man laughed at me, would ignore me for days And weeks, and say the most evil cruelest things anyone had ever uttered at me. Basically this man destroyed me and broke me down all the way, made me open up in ways I had never opened up before ultimately to just destroy me. 

A few days ago his ex-wife responded to a msg of mine and just confirmed all the doubts and fears I had been fighting to accept. She said I haven't been the only one he has promised a future to and that there's a list of women who he fooled with the same story and eventually left them too with a million unanswered questions the moment they caught on to his bs. 

I truly thought this man loved me and I'm finding it very very difficult to accept what just happened to me. I've read and done my research on psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissist characteristics and I'm devastated to find out that he fits every single one of those traits. It's been almost 3 months, and this man has disappeared without a sign of any concern for how he left which has only confirmed that he is exactly who I fear he is.....a sociopath/narcissist/psychopath. I can't seem to get over it. I've read all the ways to get past this and to move on, and yes, it's very difficult. How could I have been so foolish. No one understands what this feels like, and I can't find help from anyone, no one gets why I can't move on. 

I'm slowly losing hope, I'm slowly giving up. And everyday that he doesn't reach out to me and let's me fester in my own feelings just validates he really is this person. 

How do I get past this hurt?

I don't expect real answers, I just needed to vent. 

Truly hurt and confused,