Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to reach out and put this on paper as I am starting to heal but still psychologically attached to the predator. Sometimes I feel like he has molded me into him and it frightens me. I can still cry and do have emotions though. I have been psychologically abused for three years now. I am just now healing but when I think of what I have been through I cannot handle the memories of it. I know that I am just finding out a lot of this but I just realized what happened six months ago and I think I have read every disorder there is out there till I found Sociopath. Anti social personality disorder is just too nice of a name for these monsters.
I met him on a dating site and I was hooked from day one. I lost my business nine years ago and I had a breakdown and so I went on disability. So many bad things happened and just when got back in school and starting living again I met him. I knew he was staying with another women but he told me that they had gone separate ways and they were both seeing people but he stayed there occasionally. Well here I am today and he had me so psychologically messed up I committed myself to three mental facilities and had many booty shots when first arriving. He turned my family against me and since I am on disability convinced them I was not in my right mind. I wasn't because he took my mind from me. To escape the pain of it all I started using drugs so I could cope and after a year and the torment of his games I went into psychosis for six months or more. My family threatened to send me to a state hospital and lock me up. I believe that he started this torture on me because I contacted the other woman and spilled the beans on our relationship and revealed some of his secrets to her. He then set up to take me down. No one understood what was happening not even me. I was able to have the no contact because he got put in jail for six months and I was able to heal. When he got out he was mad at me because I had gotten well and was putting the pieces together. I had nothing as he had taken everything from me and I had no one, but I was getting well so I was getting a bit of strength back. He came back after me with a vengeance and everything was a lie and I starting figuring out he was a Sociopath. He cheating, the condoms in his truck, his looking for another victim as I was getting to close to the truth. This discard was coming and I had my guard up somewhat. When I felt he was discarding me I took control and I finished school for the semester and got through it. I then called an old ex that I have known forever and he started helping me financially and will help me start my business back and help me get a car (I will pay for most of it). While this Sociopath was ready to destroy me with his set up game by leaving me emotionally in a wreck at the end and destroying me mentally, I came back with a vengeance. He was not going to do it to me. He was not going to emotionally kill me and send me to a nut house. So as he was discarding me, I turned around and put my life together. When he though he was going to get me and destroy me he said "remember the letter you wrote" and when I told him I though he hated me he said "Now why would I hate you?" I knew he really did hate me. So I told him I had found someone else and was starting my business back, was getting a car, was starting a new semester at school and had control of my life and when I told him, he knew his plan had backfired on him. I was the one that won, not him. I was the one that stood up and said no more and then he knew that I had been able to survive and I had destroyed him. Boy it felt good. Kinda scares me that I did it and he didn't take me down but now I have this power that I haven't had in three years and my life is looking really good right now and I lived through it. I am not dead. I think he may have wanted to kill me really, not physically but psychologically.
The thing is I still fill the attachment in my head and I can not break it. I know it takes time but I know it is still there and I don't feel very safe emotionally against him if he tried to come back. I have learned so much though that I do not feel that he could destroy me ever again because in some ways I feel like I am him in a way. Does that make sense?. That he turned me into him and now I am just like him. I can feel though and I can still cry and I kinda have empathy but I don't know how much.
What I am wondering is can these Sociopaths have so much control that after you are with them for so long that you take on their characteristics and start thinking like them because from what I hear you can outsmart a Sociopath. Well I did and now I wonder if maybe I am one now from all the mental games and teachings of his evil ways. Did I learn some of behaviors and am I like him now.
I have grown cold and hard because of all of this and I can seem to read people very well and I have no trust anymore and don't know if I ever will.
Am I the sociopath lurking in my mind now? Did he brainwash me at the same time as he was trying to destroy me. Teaching me how to get what I want and survive?
This is my first discussion board so any feedback would be appreciated. I feel he has turned me into my own version of a Sociopath and now I am just like them. The goodness in me has been tainted with evil.
I know he will come back and when he does I will feel he wont know what he has coming. So you see, he has turned me into him.
Is this possible? I am getting counseling every week but I am not the same as I was before he came into my life.
Its like I have joined a flock of evil beings in the world and everything I ever believed in is gone.
Thanks for reading my story.
Kelly
I just wanted to reach out and put this on paper as I am starting to heal but still psychologically attached to the predator. Sometimes I feel like he has molded me into him and it frightens me. I can still cry and do have emotions though. I have been psychologically abused for three years now. I am just now healing but when I think of what I have been through I cannot handle the memories of it. I know that I am just finding out a lot of this but I just realized what happened six months ago and I think I have read every disorder there is out there till I found Sociopath. Anti social personality disorder is just too nice of a name for these monsters.
I met him on a dating site and I was hooked from day one. I lost my business nine years ago and I had a breakdown and so I went on disability. So many bad things happened and just when got back in school and starting living again I met him. I knew he was staying with another women but he told me that they had gone separate ways and they were both seeing people but he stayed there occasionally. Well here I am today and he had me so psychologically messed up I committed myself to three mental facilities and had many booty shots when first arriving. He turned my family against me and since I am on disability convinced them I was not in my right mind. I wasn't because he took my mind from me. To escape the pain of it all I started using drugs so I could cope and after a year and the torment of his games I went into psychosis for six months or more. My family threatened to send me to a state hospital and lock me up. I believe that he started this torture on me because I contacted the other woman and spilled the beans on our relationship and revealed some of his secrets to her. He then set up to take me down. No one understood what was happening not even me. I was able to have the no contact because he got put in jail for six months and I was able to heal. When he got out he was mad at me because I had gotten well and was putting the pieces together. I had nothing as he had taken everything from me and I had no one, but I was getting well so I was getting a bit of strength back. He came back after me with a vengeance and everything was a lie and I starting figuring out he was a Sociopath. He cheating, the condoms in his truck, his looking for another victim as I was getting to close to the truth. This discard was coming and I had my guard up somewhat. When I felt he was discarding me I took control and I finished school for the semester and got through it. I then called an old ex that I have known forever and he started helping me financially and will help me start my business back and help me get a car (I will pay for most of it). While this Sociopath was ready to destroy me with his set up game by leaving me emotionally in a wreck at the end and destroying me mentally, I came back with a vengeance. He was not going to do it to me. He was not going to emotionally kill me and send me to a nut house. So as he was discarding me, I turned around and put my life together. When he though he was going to get me and destroy me he said "remember the letter you wrote" and when I told him I though he hated me he said "Now why would I hate you?" I knew he really did hate me. So I told him I had found someone else and was starting my business back, was getting a car, was starting a new semester at school and had control of my life and when I told him, he knew his plan had backfired on him. I was the one that won, not him. I was the one that stood up and said no more and then he knew that I had been able to survive and I had destroyed him. Boy it felt good. Kinda scares me that I did it and he didn't take me down but now I have this power that I haven't had in three years and my life is looking really good right now and I lived through it. I am not dead. I think he may have wanted to kill me really, not physically but psychologically.
The thing is I still fill the attachment in my head and I can not break it. I know it takes time but I know it is still there and I don't feel very safe emotionally against him if he tried to come back. I have learned so much though that I do not feel that he could destroy me ever again because in some ways I feel like I am him in a way. Does that make sense?. That he turned me into him and now I am just like him. I can feel though and I can still cry and I kinda have empathy but I don't know how much.
What I am wondering is can these Sociopaths have so much control that after you are with them for so long that you take on their characteristics and start thinking like them because from what I hear you can outsmart a Sociopath. Well I did and now I wonder if maybe I am one now from all the mental games and teachings of his evil ways. Did I learn some of behaviors and am I like him now.
I have grown cold and hard because of all of this and I can seem to read people very well and I have no trust anymore and don't know if I ever will.
Am I the sociopath lurking in my mind now? Did he brainwash me at the same time as he was trying to destroy me. Teaching me how to get what I want and survive?
This is my first discussion board so any feedback would be appreciated. I feel he has turned me into my own version of a Sociopath and now I am just like them. The goodness in me has been tainted with evil.
I know he will come back and when he does I will feel he wont know what he has coming. So you see, he has turned me into him.
Is this possible? I am getting counseling every week but I am not the same as I was before he came into my life.
Its like I have joined a flock of evil beings in the world and everything I ever believed in is gone.
Thanks for reading my story.
Kelly
A sociopath has a disorder that makes them unable to experience emotional empathy and develop a conscience. You should read more about emotional empathy to understand whether your behavior warrants the concern you're expressing. Here's a good explanation: https://rapebyfraud.com/2014/12/28/empathy-its-fundamental-or-is-it/
If you'd like to read more, read "Carnal Abuse by Deceit." You'll find it on Amazon.
The behavior of a sociopath takes place without remorse on their part. A person who experiences their harm may develop Complex PTSD which will make them wary and hyper-vigilant. My best advise to you, after experiencing the emotional abuse of a sociopath, is to find a good therapist who deals with PTSD and understands sociopathy.
No matter how strong you feel you are, you should have zero contact with that man. Don't waste your time trying to make him feel like he failed at harming you. You are just fueling more horrific behavior on his part. Walk away. Don't look back. Find the therapeutic support you need to put your life back together.
People adapt in order to protect themselves from harm. That does not make you a sociopath.
Its very hard to think you learned all your lessons in life and then you turn around and have to go through this. I believe he had a plan to put me in a state hospital.
He has many women I have learned and always did and I had no clue. I feel stupid for not knowing and knowing this man wanted to hurt me very badly. So he tortured me for two and a half years for writing a letter to the other woman.
What hurts is my family turned on me so badly for getting mentally sick. My mother laughed at me and told me I was a joke and I begged her to help me. She said she would call everyone and have them put me in a state hospital. Then she would talk to him and tell him to leave me there and talk to doctors about keeping me there for good.
I am moving forward and I agree with you that people adapt to protect themselves.
He once told me he killed a cat just so he could see what it would feel like. This was when he was a child.
I felt like that cat for a very long time.
He kinda told me who he was but I didn't get it until a few days ago. The dangerous man that wanted to destroy me while acting like he loved me.
I should have known by his name. He changed it to Tru.
Thank you for your reply
Kelly
My heart goes out to you.
Mutilating animals as children is one of several behaviors that therapists lump into "conduct disorder." There should be more information available to the general public that "conduct disorder" is simply a phrase mental health professionals use for children so they aren't guilty of "labeling" them as sociopaths.
My son killed a rabbit with his bare hands when he was only 4 years old. He wanted to see what would happen if he bashed its head against a wall. I took him to therapists. He had a myriad of additional "signature" signs. No one labelled him, and no one helped him or advised me about helping him either.
Today, at soon-to-be 35, he is your typical case of Borderline Personality Disorder. It's so ingrained in his thinking, I seriously doubt whether he will ever be treated for his condition or recognize that he can bring about a change if he just wanted to do so. He doesn't. There are countless people he can count on to enable his dysfunction. And when they stop enabling him, he simply discards them, just like he discarded me. No matter how much I recognize what's going on with him, not a day goes by without my experiencing his loss.
Sociopaths will either harm you or abandon you when you get wise to them. and they will undermine you to the rest of the world because you know something about them that they don't want anyone to know.. They are innately cruel and without a soul.
When you met him, you likely did not know that cruel people exist. You probably felt that people were only mean to others because they were misunderstood, or made a mistake. Now you know that truly cruel people actually exist in the world. And you'll be very careful with your selection process in the future.
Thank you for posting. Yes before I met him I had no clue about the evil in the world. Being raised by my grandmother she taught me that there is good in the world but not about the bad. Its hard for me to believe that evil is taking over and hurting so many people out there, like in Florida. We just don't know or haven't been around it. Sometime I think they should have a class in school so kids could learn about this. Like a mandatory Psychology Class. lol! I just thought I was loosing my mind and that I was sick but I was so bombarded with his treatment of me and so messed up I couldn't figure it out. I could be in a state hospital now with no way to get released and drugged up. Some people never come out of psychosis, I have seen it in the hospitals. He was always there to pick me up when I got out so he could start again on me. Now its like a ray of sunshine coming in with hope for the future and I can get back to where I was before I met him. I feel a loss for him but I love myself more then I love him and I have a daughter that needs me. I will talk to my counselor about getting into therapy for ptsd. I need it badly but I have a ray of joy every day that goes by and it gets better. It weird but you understand completely and I thank you. Kelly