I understand. Many sociopaths will implant a lot of ideas and doubts into your mind in order to control and manipulate the situation in what ever way may suit them. It is good that you are reaching out on here and know what his true character is. What we experience with these sociopaths is not real, it is all an act in order for them to get what they want. They can make everything seem better when we are with them, but none of it is true or honest. Of course we will miss the way they made us feel, but it was not real and it can not be real with a person like this. Staying away from them is the very best thing that we can do. Remember, it is only a matter of time before he does the same thing to the new girl that he did to you or worse. Stay strong and remember to love and respect yourself. You deserve to heal and to be happy.

Thank you. It seems like this is something a lot of us struggle with. Some days I can remember his true nature and feel bad for anyone else who he does this too -- other days it still hurts so badly. I know things will get better, but it's emotionally exhausting getting to that point. Thank you for saying you understand. It helps to know I'm not alone.

Maybe you just need a little more time to process everything. Your situation seems different from others here in that you are safe physically and mentally, yet have lingering emotional problems. Be VERY PATIENT with yourself. Don't try to understand the why. Just try to have compassion for his new person, because it will end up with her exactly how it ended up with you. Don't be hopeless. Things will get better!

I truly believe we experience a supernatural power acting through psychopaths. It is not a power for good. It is no easy task to disentangle our hearts and minds which have been captured and enraptured by this force.

If you stay the course, read, work to understand, pray and place your heart, mind and will, into the desire to be free again, you will succeed. Be patient. Be full of trust that you can achieve your goal.

Well, you have asked the golden question of survivors of abuse in relationships. My explanation is that it hurts because I am no longer in a relationship with him and somebody else is.I am an observer, but I am still attached to him by trauma, confusion and pain of deception. Sometimes I cannot believe my eyes, knowing what he has done. I try to put observe inside of me. And focus on me.

i feel so sorry for you.


the truth is, i am tired of the stuff. this rape culture that we promote. it's funny, a policeman remarked on it to me. and i agree with him. why is American culture so focused on orgasm at all costs?


anyway i will say prayers for you.

I ask myself the same question at times too. I'm seeking help and therapy any where I can. I told management at my job at my situation and trying to get help with a domestic violence counselor. My perp neve put his hands on me, however, the manipulation and control is scary. Prayer works for some, I'm not religious so support from those who understand is where I'm seeking assistance. I never thought I'd be in the situation, I'm sure you're the same. Call friends, work, clean, just try to stay busy enough to keep your mind off of him the best you can.

m, wtf? ugh.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It helps so much to know that others understand. I am still struggling with this, and am trying to work through it with my therapist. She says I need to let go, but I don't seem to know how. How do I accept the reality of what he is, and the reality that he doesn't want me??? FYI, I started reading a book called psychopath free and it's been good so far. Others may want to check it out also.

I'm paralyzed from the realization of my 2 years with the man I married. I have 4 children. I am not ok. I feel like I'm living outside my body. No one to turn to for support. I am losing my sanity. I don't know why I keep thinking he has changed when he comes back to me. I'm lying to myself and if I know he is a phsycopath why do I continue to want him and lie to myself that maybe he isn't a phsycopath, narcissistic or sociopath? I have become crippled and have a full time live in nanny and 2 housekeepers who come to my home. I sit in my room reading self help books and feel as though the knowledge I have gained about what my husband truly is, isn't helping me take action. I'm frozen. I'm alone without a single family member or friend. I need to heal for my kids...they are losing their mom. Please will anyone at least try to help me help myself?

Momof4,

Many women in your shoes have also become paralyzed with the knowledge you are grappling with. It is devastating. One thing that might help you, at this time, is a forum called "psychopathfree." You will find other women struggling like you and sharing their daily struggles.

I would recommend that you get your body moving a little bit each day. Make goals for yourself. Perhaps start with a 10-minute walk, and add as you can. Counter the paralysis. When your body is moving, thoughts and emotions become unstuck and begin moving as well.

Search for a good therapist--one who lists personality disorders among their specialties on their web page. Research the backgounds and recommendations of therapists online.

Please try to give each of your children a little love each day--maybe a snuggle and a story at bedtime. Remember the Beatles song, "The love you take is equal to the love you make." In other words, the love you "make" (give) will be returned to you. You need your children's love as much as they need yours, more than ever now.

I hope you feel better soon.