Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

520 Members
2,830 Posts
0 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Victims of Psychopaths Support Group

I'm so stuck

hosana
hosana
Four the past four months my life like many is and has been a living hell, being in a relationship for ten yrs. is so hard to erase the memories, cause each time I am by myself I start analyzing and over thinking and the anxiety and pain resurfaces and I try to be strong, then I visualize him coming back and I made a vision board of what our life's would be like and how amazing it is and time is nothing and I forgive you as the time you needed to be apart you had to rethink and find you. then I look at it and think why on earth did you make such a thing, as each tear falls onto the board. i pray so much as I am feeling so stuck on a cross rd to the person who I missed that treated me the way I wanted and put me on a pedal stool to the monster who financially left me with a burden while he sleeps comfortably and enjoys his new life, and the bed I have which we brought for 500 dollars as that is what I could afford at the time is the bed he left me lying on for ten yrs.', and I cant go out and get a new one, and I don't have the money to treat myself I have had many people present them self's to me and say what would you do if he shows up, one day, will you punch him in the face, will you embrace him cause its been months with not knowing where he been, or will you stand there in shock, if he has done this to many then he knows what his intentions will be, I replied, my purpose is to try live well, but as I mentioned im so stuck and as much as I want to move on, Im afraid of change, and no one will love me if he thinks time is away of healing and he will be back whenever then here's something for him ive healed in many ways through positive support being on here and going to church, this is what keeps me alive putting my thoughts down and not being judge but supported, I am so blessed to have stumbled across this site. knowing I have that connection its making me into a better person to the day I am waiting, to look fresh young and vibrant when that day comes I will feel the rejoice in my sole where I will look at him in the eyes and say thank you, for giving me back the most amazing gift of all and that is my life. this is me being stuck on the cross rd of my way of thinking, stuck not knowing what I really want out of life, anymore
spiritsprout
spiritsprout
I'm sorry for the pain you're experiencing, hosana. Here's a link that I hope helps some. It has some good information.

www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/breaking-up-with-narcissist/


It takes a long time to overcome the damage these monsters create, but you're on your way. Give yourself time to heal and recover. Sending you a big (((hug))) Hang in there, hosana!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your poor love hosana you are on the emotional roller coaster it is really tough but you will heal and it's already begun. The fact that you think about yourself in the future as young fresh and vibrant means you have a goal your brain is allowing you to go there and thats a very positive step. The mind is extremely powerful and it feels like there is war going on between hope for the future and being so stuck in the past it becomes the present but sounds like your positive brain is starting to win because you are seeing little glimmers of the future, that's wonderful.
I think what you did with the vision board was extremely important for you, this is just my take on it but it sounds to me like you were grieving for the future you know is not going to happen and by doing something physical about it made it real not just random thoughts swimming in your head prolonging the healing process.
Spirits link is a great one I know I struggled with the truth and still have days when I just can't get my head around their lack of feeling and emotion but there it is they just don't.
You have a beautiful heart Hosana full of love use this love to look after you right now it does get better and having your faith is fantastic because faith will see you through. I don't think you are stuck I think you know the way forward look at you're not knowing what you want anymore as a clean slate I time to regroup and discover what is important to you what you want and then go for it. You may surprise yourself what comes up. Don't forget God/Goddess/ Universe wants you to be happy and sometimes to get to happiness we have to weed out the things that will hold us back. It will take time to learn all about the new you but it is an exciting time with unlimited possibilities!
Let us know how you are going and do one positive thing for yourself today and know you are another step on your road to your beautiful life.
Hugs xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hosana, it's like a drug addiction. You fell in love with a person that never existed. You became addicted to that person. And now that the person is no longer part of your life, you are going through withdrawal. That is how it feels to me. I find myself experiencing love/hate. I don't want to hate anyone, but I have never had someone be so cruel to me or to watch someone be so cruel to multiple people. The feelings we felt though, the love we felt, that was real. So part of us wants to be in denial b/c the emotional pain is so great. We want them to miss us, to feel sorry for what they have done, to want us. But we have to face a harsh truth that it is all a game to them. I, like you, find myself thinking on it all too much. Going over so many moments in my head and thinking "how can he just fake that.?" I try to go out with friends and surround myself with family when I have free time to occupy my mind. When I work, I throw my all into it to occupy my mind. The hardest part for me right now is that the people in my life do not understand why I feel the way I do and how it can be so devastating, They don't get it, b/c they never experienced it. It feels pretty lonely some times.
Fiskebollbukta
Fiskebollbukta
Fully agree With you KateL. This is how it is . Different stories but still the same. It si like drug addiction but it will slowely past. That is a promise. Gain all the knowledge you can, hosana, that will make a difference and make you stronger.
Yes,Kate , it is a lonely walk the most of us have. It is just to complicated for others to fully understand. It took me years myself.
shakyinside
shakyinside
Hosana, you are in the early days of recovery and probably have PTSD. I have been where you are and I promise you it can get better. Stay strong and keep no contact with them and give yourself the best chance to heal. Talk to a counsellor if you think it will help. Good luck with your new and brighter future.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hosana, I know you are going to make it through this. There is no doubt in my mind. We all care about you and we've either been where you are right now before or we are still there now. You are NOT alone in this in any way even though it feels like it when you shut the computer down and have to go do something else. Hold on, that's all you have to do, and it's so wonderful you can talk about how you're feeling. I can't emphasize enough that you are getting through this painful phase even with the loneliness and pain you feel. Remember, it's like a wound healing. It hurts like hell but it's healing every moment of every day that goes by. Cry when you need and want to. Let it out. It feels so raw and awful but the pain is going to stop. Like a wound healing, it's going to happen.
((((((((( Hosana )))))))))))