Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

520 Members
2,830 Posts
0 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Victims of Psychopaths Support Group

Hi I'm new.

razzy
razzy
Hi every one.

This morning I went to counseling and learned that my father is a sociopath. I am both shocked and relieved. I'm 21 years old and moved out of the house when I was 18 fresh out of high school. Ever since my teen years I have been dealing with the reality of my broken family because of my father. My whole family knows he has issues but thinks I am blowing things out of per portion. They are in denial.

My father is abusive. Growing up he was a touchy kinda guy(still is). He would body block, excessive tickle, pin me down, pinch me, hover over me and accidentally touch me on the private parts. While doing all this stuff I would tell him no or stop and he would laugh and keep going. In his mind I was his and he owned me. He has very little boundaries. He is a socially awkward person. A lot of people think he is a nice guy and don't get me wrong he can be very kind. Some people think he's creepy. I know him as nice, outspoken, opinionated, mean, awkward, weird, smart and controlling.

I don't know much about socio pathology but I want to learn. I'm sick of being so confused. And I don't want to help him I want to figure out what's going on with me and my family.
kris7167
kris7167
You are the healthy one in the family. Is your mother still with him? There is much wisdom to be gained here on this forum and on other Internet sites. You are in the right place, razzy.
razzy
razzy
Thank you so much Kris!

Im sad to say but my mother is still with him. My older sister lives there as well.

I really hope to learn about sociopaths and how it applies to my father. To be honest I barely know anything. I read a description about sociopaths after my counsellor told me and it sounds like my father to a T.

From what I mentioned can you tell that he is a sociopath?
kris7167
kris7167
That would be my opinion, yes, razzy. Sociopaths disguise evil intentions with a veneer of playfulness, humor, or other socially acceptable guises. I have witnessed that they enjoy wreaking their destruction in public as it leaves the victim feeling more helpless and humiliated, and increases the sociopath's sense of power. The victim can see that the sociopath has everyone else fooled. If she cries or complains, SHE will appear to be the one with a problem. I believe this ploy leaves the sociopath with a feeling of all-powerfulness.

I believe the litmus test as to what drives an action is how the acted-upon feels. You felt abused, used, frightened, powerless and molested. Not in one instance--which could conceivably represent a misunderstanding--but in many repeated instances.
RichieD
RichieD
That was really confusing to me...my father seemed so warm and kind at times. But there were so many times when he was ruthless and sadistic. Nothing could happen in that house without his approval...we were all afraid of him. That's the key I suppose, that we were all stuttering, anxious, insecure, and deeply depressed at times...my mother included. I was thinking a lot about suicide when I was eight. My sister told me later in life that he used to get physical with my mother and use his fists, but only when I wasn't around. Now I'm not even sure any of his little kindnesses were real...it may all have been manipulation.

We all thought that we were the problem...when it was really all him. Both my sisters married very bullying and domineering men, and I never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. My mother was so severely messed up they gave her electro-convulsive therapy to try to save her from her depression.
kris7167
kris7167
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
Cyril Connolly
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome Razzy. I guess in the end what matters most regardless of his diagnosis is how it makes you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, controlled or violated, that is all that matters in the end and should be the determining factor of the boundaries you create with your family as you figure things out in greater detail by research and in therapy. I'm sure you'll discover what he and your family truly are as you educate yourself, but right now all that matters is how YOU feel. The fact that you recognize something isn't right in itself is a big step.

My parents play nice and supportive and outgoing and helpful to the outside world, and did so for so many years. They made everything look shiny and perfect on the outside while it was pure chaos and war inside. They choose what they want others to see. Its typically those closest to them that see the real them. I remember at my fathers retirement party, all these people got up and talked about my father and how thoughtful and giving he was, how funny and knowledgeable he was.. I looked at my sisters and said "who is this man they are talking about - this isn't the man we live with" lol
bellanomore
bellanomore
welcome razzy, look up the word narcissist and sociopath on the internet. there are videos on you tube also that you can just watch. learn as much as you can about the personality disorder. this is where you will find your answers and here on this forum. I hope you keep posting and hang in there, take care of you first.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, hello,razzy. Good for you, getting out and getting this knowledge at such a young age!