I posted this twice by accident, it takes a while for it to go through and I tend to click it multiple times, and I also corrected myself once before I clicked it, which is why one contains an omitted that makes all the difference at the end and the other does not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. My ex N/S would constantly use the excuse at 38 years old that he was STILL "immature" and merely "misguided". God, I wished I could've seen through that very dense fog sooner. It was almost as if he enjoyed his self proclaimed status. Getting drunk, chasing women (unbeknowst to me until the end), taking advantage of others for his own benefit, lying, dressing up in costumes at every public event, hanging out with 21 year old females, never thinking before he spoke, telling me that he'd make a great father despite the fact that the only amount of time he had ever spent with children was five minutes with his colleagues kids, and trying to pawn me off on his sister and mother while he was out living "his lifestyle" that he said kept saying he needed to change... Oh yes, that parasite never did a damn thing to make my life any easier or be supportive of me and our unborn child... Aspin, they are 17 and they will never mature. I honestly believe they are proud of their immaturity.

I don;t know what makes them do it, some of those things you mentioned sounded calculated, in order to piss you or other people off, or merely make excuses to prolong whatever fun they were having...heh, I guess that does fit the definition. Glad you're away from him now.

I agree! They still have that mentality of a 17 year old. My ex always asked if he looked old to me, or if he was too old to play basketball or surf, and he would often bring up how he was afraid of looking old (this one being the father of our unborn child). He, too, would party with a crowd younger than himself. He is 30. He would drink, and he couldn't handle it. While he was drunk he always talked about his conquests with women he met around the USA. Ugh! Just like everyone here, I saw the red flags, but always looked past them because he was someone I had grown up with...It has been another hurtful experience for me. He also dresses up in costumes...OMG! How eerie they all seem to act the same. Bummer!

Mine is immature too sometimes, singing on a stupid song "I´m crazy like a baby lalala something", things like that is just a turn off when you are 30 years old! I dont know anything that turns me off more than a man who acts like he is 13!!

Yve..lol I wrote 30 years old because my exS is 30 years old...

Its probably not even a song but something he has heard from a teen girl somewhere in town.

LoL forgotten...the lyrics "I'm crazy like a baby..." even annoy me. Oh yeah? So, is my ex, and it sucks that I have to keep contact with him because I'm currently pregnant with his child.

And you know, I don't know about technical Narcs and Socios, but people, girls anyway, who habitually use and manipulate seem to tend to look younger than they actually are, specifically BPD girls. It is theorized that this disorder is really just an expression of female psychopathy, but it has very little corroboration, other than the personal experiences of those involved.

Of course, not everyone who looks younger than they are is a P/S or something like it, but it COULD be a reason for suspicion, as far as I'm concerned.

I know the majority of them are really good looking and in great shape, regardless of their age.

They're all kinda the same, though, I think (the narks/psychopaths/sociopaths/BPD's). They build you up, and then, tear you down. If you let them, the cycle begins, again. After they have hurt you, they'll start off with the: "I love you!, I can't live without you!, You're my soulmate!, I'll kill myself if you don't come back!!!", and let's say you do go back?? The cycle just repeats itself, again. Everything positive you shared with them like your hopes and dreams, they will just use it against you, and turn it awful and negative. They're never happy for you, and they do not support you. It's all about themselves. They'll even call you SELFISH, and in reality, they're the selfish ones.

Yve, LOL so it is a song! isnt that song annoying!! I dont think I have heard a more stupid song than that..it sounds like a real immature person who sings as well...LOL weather it is a women or man who sings.

Aspin, well I look younger than I am, people think from 5-15 years...good for me though. But I am not a sociopath, just good genes I guess. I dont think that looking younger than one are is a sign of sociopathy. Is there any science in this?

This is so weird....my exS also appeared much younger than he really was. He always said that it bothered him but now I think that he liked that because it allowed him to attract very young women. He would tell me that I looked old. I would ask him if he was serious because I had never heard that from anyone before...people are always surprised at my age because I look younger than I am. Yeah I know....just another way to try and destroy my confidence. He always dressed younger, hairstyle was younger, wore stupid jewelry etc. When I tried to get him to "mature" he was very resistant. Like your experiences he was immature and related well with the younger crowd....I was always the most comfortable with people of my own generation. Even his "friends" that he grew up with became more my friends than his because it was like they did not come from the same background. They were more my "age". Strange that you should all bring this up!

i know sociopaths who look older than their age. so they act younger but dont look younger.

looking younger is genetic but not related to mental activity. just like not every handsome guy is a sociopath.

i think being a sociopath can be genetic, do they have other family members with personality disorders? maybe their uncle or grandfather or brother ? dont even have kids with these types because one of the kids or grandkids could have some personality disorder passed down.

I think S/Ps never really "wants" to grow up or/and I think they think that behaving immature sometimes, more or less, is cool. At least it looks like that.

I think too that looking younger is just gene based and it has nothing to do with sociopathy or BPD. There is also differences between these two disorders even PBDs can in periods seem like lapsing into sociopathic behavior, like lack of empathy during stress. But these two disorders are not the same.

Psychopaths can either be born that way or develop it in extremely abusive childhood environment.