Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
My story starts two years ago. He was my professor. I was married. I left my husband to be with him, because he made me feel happier and more understood than I had ever felt in my life. I didn't think I could remain married if someone existed that was really my soul mate. I now know that I was wrong, but at the time I was completely swept away into the arms of my psychopath. Everything was perfect with him for awhile. We started dating while he was my professor and then I noticed another girl in the class making plans with him to hang out in front of the rest of the class. He also asked me if my friend who was in the class that he was attracted to would be part of a threesome with us, I told him no. Then he tried to get me to have a threesome with one of his exes. He wanted to have a committed relationship with him, but I said no because I knew something was wrong. He became very emotionally abusive when I wouldn't do what he wanted. I almost killed myself. My GPA went from a 3.85 to a 3.1 after his influence in my life. I started smoking again in order to deal with the anxiety.
For one year I did not speak to him. I became promiscuous in a way I had never been before. I felt empty and bad about myself all the time. I struggled to get up every morning and to fall asleep every night. I couldn't understand what happened to me and why. I kept blaming myself and wondering what was wrong with me. I even missed him and would cry to the point of hyperventilating on the floor of my apartment several times a week. No one in my life understood why I would allow someone to hurt me the way he did and neither did I. I am an honest person who feels bad when I do anything that might hurt anyone, and he actually made me feel that I was the one who caused him pain and that he did nothing wrong.
So after a year of this, I contacted him and met him. He told me that he had not dated anyone for months and made me feel that it would only be me in his life now. I wanted to see if things would be different now that he was not my professor anymore. It was worse. There were other women and he told me all sorts of degrading things about what he would do to these women. He told me about his deepest desire to torture and hurt others. I didn't understand why he would tell me all of these things. I always tried to accept and love him for who he was, but the things he began to tell me were so disturbing that I have become frightened of him. He recently told me about a woman that he stayed with in another country that he called stupid and that he let her do sexually things to him that he wanted, but that was it, he didn't want to have actual intimacy with her. He told me he took her car to meet another woman he met online and left her car and did not say bye to her, he just left. I was in shock when he told me this, but the next day it set in and I realized he was really crazy. The same night he shared with me his desire to hurt others. I feel scared of what he is capable of doing and I am just in so much shock that someone like this could actually exist. And how could I love someone like that?
So now I seek support and freedom from ever meeting this person again. Another one of his women contacted me awhile back and we have been in communication. In order to sever ties with him I decided to tell him that I was in communication with this woman. He said very hurtful things to me and tried to blame the situation on me. I sent him an email outlining the facts of what has actually occurred between us over the time I have met him. I told him to never contact me again and to mail me my things. I doubt he will mail me my things, but if he does contact me further I will get a restraining order against him.
For one year I did not speak to him. I became promiscuous in a way I had never been before. I felt empty and bad about myself all the time. I struggled to get up every morning and to fall asleep every night. I couldn't understand what happened to me and why. I kept blaming myself and wondering what was wrong with me. I even missed him and would cry to the point of hyperventilating on the floor of my apartment several times a week. No one in my life understood why I would allow someone to hurt me the way he did and neither did I. I am an honest person who feels bad when I do anything that might hurt anyone, and he actually made me feel that I was the one who caused him pain and that he did nothing wrong.
So after a year of this, I contacted him and met him. He told me that he had not dated anyone for months and made me feel that it would only be me in his life now. I wanted to see if things would be different now that he was not my professor anymore. It was worse. There were other women and he told me all sorts of degrading things about what he would do to these women. He told me about his deepest desire to torture and hurt others. I didn't understand why he would tell me all of these things. I always tried to accept and love him for who he was, but the things he began to tell me were so disturbing that I have become frightened of him. He recently told me about a woman that he stayed with in another country that he called stupid and that he let her do sexually things to him that he wanted, but that was it, he didn't want to have actual intimacy with her. He told me he took her car to meet another woman he met online and left her car and did not say bye to her, he just left. I was in shock when he told me this, but the next day it set in and I realized he was really crazy. The same night he shared with me his desire to hurt others. I feel scared of what he is capable of doing and I am just in so much shock that someone like this could actually exist. And how could I love someone like that?
So now I seek support and freedom from ever meeting this person again. Another one of his women contacted me awhile back and we have been in communication. In order to sever ties with him I decided to tell him that I was in communication with this woman. He said very hurtful things to me and tried to blame the situation on me. I sent him an email outlining the facts of what has actually occurred between us over the time I have met him. I told him to never contact me again and to mail me my things. I doubt he will mail me my things, but if he does contact me further I will get a restraining order against him.
When we were just friends, my ex-S constantly joked about cutting/killing people with his Japanese sword (he really has one). When we had just started dating, I asked him how much he was really kidding. He said not entirely. He had a very dark outlook on the world and people, and had so much anger. I could never tell any of my friends or family. And this was when I could have cut it off! In the very beginning! For months I was afraid I was dating someone with the potential to kill someone. He'd also told me at that point that he could not feel guilt or remorse.
I don't believe he really would hurt someone, but if I heard 5 years from now that he'd done something....I wouldn't doubt it or be surprised.
It is absolutely terrifying. And more terrifying that we allowed ourselves to be involved with these people knowing what we know. But love and manipulation are so unbelievably powerful. It is not your fault.
Whatever you need to do to move on with your life and yourself....do. Stay strong <3
As a child I was baffled by all this. Dads aren't supposed to act that way. But when I got older I realized this was his way of humiliating my mother and flaunting his hold on her. My mother was terrified of him, he could be very violent and he was athletic. What kind of man talks openly about his flirtations with attractive women in front of his wife and children?
What I'm trying to say is that these people love hurting others, they get a thrill out of it. First they get someone under their thumb, then they start undermining and tormenting. I still have bad dreams about Dad, even though he's been gone for years. They are all twisted inside, and they are easy to get entangled with. It can happen to anyone, don't be ashamed of having fallen for the lies and manipulation. I never recovered from all the years of being undermined and abused by my father. You have a chance to be rid of your psychopath and build a normal life.
Don't ever, ever have anything to do with him again. Contacting him would be like walking out onto a frozen pond when the ice is fragile and thin.