Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Ok it may be PMS playing part of the role but I just feel like I'm burning inside. I have this incredible desire to say something to him - anything. Be it good or bad I just want to say something. I'm so so tired of being consumed by the thoughts and feelings I have unresolved. No, I don't need him to say a word to me; rather, I just want to be heard. I feel like it's just burning in my soul. I can't shake it. I can't rid myself of it. I just want to be free. I feel totally stuck and it is like living in purgatory.
The article above is a good reminder of what you have escaped from, and what happens to people who get drawn back into the bullshit!
Remember the reasons you went no contact ... remember the reasons you feel so much inner fire in the first place ... lies ... deception ... betrayal ... endless excuses ... verbal abuse ... gaslighting .. on and on with this fucked up shit!
You deserve better ... put your anger into rebuilding your self respect ... exercise, running, swimming ... my personal favourite was loud music and a good dance ... remember who you were before ....
Like Manyrivers said.... I have planned to force myself into getting back into the things that gave me joy, things that were for me, that no one else can take away from me. So I am planning to run (ha!). I may want to scream and vomit half way through, but baby steps. That's all I can do. Hang in there! I'm with ya!
He sucked the other woman back in but I know she's doomed. She knows everything though so maybe that's just what she wants. I think that these women, like us, simply think he will change for them. He makes you feel so special that you can't let go and you think you have the ability to show him a new way of life. He makes every woman he encounters feel like they are special. Sadly he's almost 50 now so fat chance of change.
He tried to get one girl he was seeing to have a threesome with him and his friend, he bragged about making her walk the five miles to his house, as she was quite clearly besotted. He used to tell me that she was always drunk, and not very intelligent,and that he'd never considered a proper relationship with her! (she told me a somewhat different story).
When he was married to his first wife he used to work away a lot, he was sleeping with various other women throughout the weekend, and coming home like normal on a weekend! I got told a tale (from him) about him taking his wedding ring off in one such woman's bathroom, because he felt GUILTY wearing it while he was having sex with someone else .. but then someone else told me that it fell out of his pocket when he went to the toilet in her house. She had no idea he was married. He had to go home without the ring and tell his wife he'd lost it, make up some excuse, and naturally she was suspicious, the woman he was sleeping with rang his mobile to tell him she'd found his ring, and his wife answered the call. She never left him though!
I wonder would she had left him if she'd known that he had bedded one of the waitresses on the cruise liner they were currently celebrating their honeymoon on? I don't think she knew the half of it!
Cut out a photo and throw things at it, write a letter to him and don't send it, take a walk and talk to yourself (I do that - people probably think I'm really nuts) anything but call him or communicate with him. It sucks, just remember though that they will repeat the pattern with the other woman.
I do have fantasies about confronting my ex and even argue with him in my sleep but I refuse to text or communicate with him. It is my way of sticking one finger up at him !