It's good what you are doing in reporting them to immigration. Seems like we always need to be on the offense with the Ex Socio.
She (the immigrant) is already becoming trapped in his madness but does not even know it. I am sure there are signs of the monster but she is caught of in the love of the fairy tale they tell you as a child.
I think they are slow and calculating and the victim does not even know they are in his web until it i too late.
There were so many signs I saw but I was still trying to prove how understanding I was and a good women that does not rock the boat. But that was his sign that I was the perfect victim for him. This lesson was the best way for me to learn to be on the offense with people I now meet. Looking for signs and talking with my Brother or my Counselor about it to see if it sounds as weird as I think it does. They in an instant say to stay away. Why can I not see that?. I think I am a people pleaser to the point of wanting everyone to like me I will do just about anything. Like I wanted my ex to like me to the point of not even taking care of myself. Pretty pathetic I will go to that extent. My pattern was set when I was a child and my Dad was a really bad alcoholic and when he would come home all late at night drunk my Mom would not leave him his dinner any more and I was there to take care of him and make him a sandwich or something. That was how I learned how to receive love. I felt love by taking care of others and that pattern has stuck with me. Then to make things more confusing Mom would say Dad was always working late I was then mad at Mom for not even offering to make him dinner when he came home. She thought she was protecting me from the truth that Dad was a drunk. I think I was then programmed to not look at the signs and ignore them because I was used to the confusion. Craziness was a house hold thing. Dad came home late one night and was so drunk that he woke up the whole family because he was trying to walk up the stairs to go to the bedroom and kept falling down and one time rolled down the steps and hit his head. I just stood there and watched as a small child. I don't remember Mom waking up just some of us kids (9 of us!) standing around the rail watching in horror. Too young to understand but just asking what is wrong with Dad. Why isn't someone taking care of him. I turned out to be Daddy's little girl, little helper, I wanted to save him. I now pick men I want to save! Just learned this connection the last couple years. Just writing about it now makes me understand how this all plays out. I am determined to change now because I have too. I have met the monster to show me how my patterns are now to the point of being dangerous to myself. I must wake up and stop the madness that I create for myself. Find other ways to receive love.

For you not being upset is good sign that it is someone else's nightmare now and not yours! Thank God he is out of your life! You are very lucky to be out of his madness but it is difficult to watch as someone else gets trapped and there is only some things you can do about it.

Wow nothing would shock me with these psychos. Eternity I understand you are pissed off, I think the only way to really deal with this is to see him as a disordered person whose actions will never make complete sense. She is new supply, she is still unawares of his real self and motivations ....plus they have had a largely fantasy online relationship so things will be very sweet for a while.

I wouldn't read anything into him choosing marriage and children with this woman. These types can father kids and walk away with no care or remorse. They don't do commitment, it's a one sided thing (ie the woman is committed but they are not). I would stay true to your knowledge of who he really is and pay no attention to what He's doing.

In a few months or years (depending how useful she is) he will be saying she's crazy too. He will deny the child so he doesn't have to pay child support, he will smear her to everyone...repeat repeat repeat. They always repeat. They are so disordered they are not even aware they are crazy. It's a sickness in the soul so deep.

Everything Strength said. If you concentrate at all on this one you will find yourself very disappointed for a couple reasons. First, she is too far away to know what is really going on. This is perfect for him. He gets the whole package. Someone to play with and someone to have the "stable" life with when it suits his needs. Unfortunately, because she is from the Mexican culture she is likely (and her family) to turn her back to his future philandering. Now I am not saying all Mexican women are like this but I am personally knowledgeable enough about this culture to know that to many of the women there, if the man actually married her then no affair partner or new "love" will matter. Men there often have their wives who they have committed to and therefore those women hold the prestige and then also have the women who they mess with and even have relationships with. But they are not wives so they don't really mean anything. And these arrangements can go on for YEARS with the wives/children not seeing their men. NOTHING you can say to her will change her mind and the disorder that you have experienced is not that unusual in their culture. It is likely that she will remain in Mexico as his wife, bear him many children, and he will stay in the U.S. and go through many relationships and have new victims. His wife will be fine with this arrangement and so will her family, because she is the chosen one and not the whore her husband is using. Now I realize that I am making generalizations but for the most part they are true. There is nothing you can do to prevent this. You have to move on like you do not even know him. You will get a life and she will get a crappy husband.

Thanks ladies.

Surfbluekitty...Yes, I made a report to immigration to stop her from coming here...she has a young son in Mexico as well and I know my ex would love to bring her here and then she would be completely trapped with him. I reported him too and I'm hoping my report has an effect on his residency application and they will send his ass back to Mexico. I identify with what you say about your pattern being set as a child...mine was too...my father is a psychopath and terrorized our family. I was always the one trying to "fix things" and now I am attracted unknowingly to assholes, users and abusers. I don't consciously seek it out, in fact I consciously seek to avoid it and look for good qualities in guys but I somehow always find the narcissists, sociopaths, liars, cheaters etc. I always figure them out within a few months, but the last one had me going for a good 10 months before I realized I HAD to go no contact. I've never had to do that before and never been so played by someone DESPITE knowing what they are all about. With him, knowing was not enough, breaking up with him a million times was not enough...he always sucked me back in. But yes, I think you're right, it is a good sign that I am no longer enmeshed in his dysfunction and it's someone else's problem now.

Strength you are right...it is a fantasy world they are in because it's all online and over the phone. When I was with him we were long distance..I lived 5 hours away. And so he had plenty of opportunity to fool me and play his games, and then lure me back in when I saw him. She is halfway across the world from him and even more fooled than I was and I am betting it will be years before the truth emerges.

LIT I learned first hand what relationships with Mexican's are like. Maybe they are not "all" that way but I agree with you that the women tend to accept their man's cheating and look the other way, either that or they are too naive to see it, but I doubt that is the case. My ex had a bunch of Mexican friends here who all came here from Mexico together to work at this job they were being hired for. Every single one of them had a wife or girlfriend or fiance' back home waiting for them and every single one of them was cheating on their wife/girlfriend. My ex cheated on me with at least 10 women. He was telling me he wanted to marry me but he didn't want me to come to Mexico with him to meet his family when he returned for vacation. I found out it was because he had a harem of women waiting for him who he planned on hooking up with. It was when he went on that trip that I finally went no contact. I'm not sure I could have done that so easily had he been here because he would have been texting, emailing, calling non-stop to try and hoover me...but he was too busy with his other women in Mexico to do that. Not to say he wasn't also cheating on me with women here too...he was and I found out about it but he hoovered me back every time...which was the most bizarre mind screw to me because I never accepted that in the past. But these psychos are good at what they do, or they wouldn't be psychos right?

I have mostly moved on...but the anger still arises on the rare occasion...and the why me questions still comes up sometimes. I have avoided dating for the most part...I have tried a few times but the interest and the trust just isn't there. The desire is a little bit, as sometimes life alone feels lonely, but I remind myself that it's safer than ending up with another sociopath.

I know how you feel about the dating, I fee the same way. There is no interest or trust, I see things through different eyes nowadays. I realise looking back that I made bad decisions out of loneliness, now I ride it out and think as you do that it is better to be alone than to be with someone as evil as my ex.

Anger is there with me also, I think it's a normal natural part of the healing process. More than anything we have to grieve the relationship, the ideal of love we were sold was a fraud, we were conned, our dreams smashed, our souls broken, hearts torn. It takes time.

I'm curious about what you actually say when you make these reports? Every time I try to report sociopaths to proper authorities, I'm never taken seriously and nothing is ever done.