…..also if you do not feel very lucky…..watch some animal reunion on youtube! They are so wonderful and you'll get emotional……
that it will never happen with a P!!!!!
There is no heart in P!
Be happy you escape such heartless and uncaring "people" ( if we wanna call them like that….)

You are trying so hard, Nutelina, to find the positive side. Blessing to you.

Yes I am and I really think we are lucky! We are so such kind people…..blessings to who had the fortune to have those qualities of kindness and love…..no one will ever be able to still the love in our heart!

For a while they might. But not for long. Love is stronger than dirt.

Yes we are!!!!
just having the strength to come out from such of betray…...

I feel fortunate, I don't feel gratitude nearly enough, but I try. It can be hard to do when so many things go wrong. But, I am grateful, every day is a gift.

And kris, love is indeed stronger. It is almost an embarassing comparison. I remember when I started to apply suggested strategies for getting from under a sociopath. When I didn't react to her repeated attempts to grab and crush me with techniques that worked so well for her before. I remember seeing what I can only describe as her special, emotionless brand of frustration. I remember she would follow it up with an awkward statement about how much stronger she was than me. She really thought that her strength was her absence of emotion. I remember thinking about how sad it was that she couldn't see the true strength of someone standing in front of her loving her at the end of his rope, knowing each time that the pain was coming.... but standing there willing to take it out of love.

I've walked away knowing that I will always love whoever it was she was, not for the fantasy I projected onto her but her. She probably didn't ask for her biology, she probably didn't ask to be adopted, she probably didn't ask to not feel the same feelings that the other kids felt. But loving her doesn't mean I have to be stupid about it anymore. Once I learned who she was, I learned there was no hope, so I had to pack up my love for her and leave her with it. I love her, but it kind of feels like the love of a disappointed father now. The only thing I will ever do with that love is STAY AWAY FROM HER AT ALL COSTS. I really enjoy and appreciate the sun. I even might say I 'love', the sun (think of where we'd be without it), but I don't plan on spending any vacation time there.

Gratitude and love have an added side benefit. Staying in their light makes it much easier to not react to sociopaths' and psychopaths' gamy attempts to reel you in again. It makes it easier not to respond in ways that will make things worse. It makes it easier to not fall into the revenge trap. It makes it easier not to become like them as you slowly escape from their shadow.

Funny, I can't count the number of times she's called me cold, heartless and hateful since we've split. =) Despite the fact that those were mainly tactical statements, she has no clue. It's sad, but I'm okay with that.

Keep smiling Nutellina. It's a long road, but it's good to see you on it.

I do feel lucky. I feel lucky that I have a heart filled with tons of emotions. I think of my ex like a tiger with an exquisite basket of produce in front of him. No matter how wonderful and delicious that produce is, he will never eat it. It simply isnt in his nature to do so. This was never about me but in spite of him, I grew and became slightly more self aware. And I feel lucky by comparison.

We are truly fortunate that we are able to love. It is just beginning to down on me that I have a chance to love and be loved in return. My ex will never experience this in his lifetime. After months of sorting through the rubble, I can see, again, how lucky we are.

Chris, yes I love him too, not for my projection, but for the lost, disconnected soul he is.I still hate him, too, but I know that hate passes away and when it does, love is all that remains. Love is all there is.

nutillina,

your whole outlook has changed over night im so proud of the way you are handling yourself and trying to see everything in a positive manner. it helps to heal a person a lot more quickly when they except the reality of the situation , you have moved from being a victim to a survivor !!!! and that will make all the difference in the world about how how you feel inside. great job !!

Thank you so much Bella! That means a lot! It helped a lot that he didn't contact so I can really work on to see the reality. And maybe the fact that I've being throughout this last year, it speed the process. This year I will enjoy Christmas free from betray and lies!
I wanna love myself and my heart. And I wish that everyone here can come out from the abuse very soon and dream again!