Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
So I'm three months out and today marks the 3 month anniversary of no contact with the exN!!!!! But I notice that I feel sooooooo bored and restless. I have plenty to do, I'm just emotionally bored. I think back to all the fights, breaking up and making up, being a detective to monitor his faithfulness….and I really miss the drama and chaos.
I guess I had grown accustomed to it and now my life is calm and peaceful yet to me just equates to boredom. It also makes me wonder if/when I enter a relationship with a healthy individual, will I then too feel bored without the constant chaos of an emotional roller coaster that an N brings to the table. Do any of you ever miss the drama? Will I get used to it as time goes by?
I guess I had grown accustomed to it and now my life is calm and peaceful yet to me just equates to boredom. It also makes me wonder if/when I enter a relationship with a healthy individual, will I then too feel bored without the constant chaos of an emotional roller coaster that an N brings to the table. Do any of you ever miss the drama? Will I get used to it as time goes by?
ollive4ollie
I stumbled upon this post, I see it is quite old...but hope that perhaps someone will read mine as well. I have been out for well over a year now. Been in a stable and healthy relationship for about six months. I am bored. I look for reasons daily and have to talk myself down off the ledge. My reasons are irrational. I am seeking chaos and dysfunction it is clearly unhealthy. I am not sure why, granted the relationship with the N lasted 15 years, damaging enough I suppose. Any advice?
AgentSmith
I wish I had advice. I've never been able to find a stable, healthy relationship, despite working on myself and not dating for many years. Everytime I try again, it's another psychopath. At this point, I no longer seek the drama and chaos (subconsciously). I am so far over it. I've cut every toxic/dysfunctional person from my life and don't have much contact with anyone now. I absolutely can't deal with the drama and chaos they create. It's so draining. I actually enjoy my drama free (boring) life now. I fill my time with hobbies I enjoy. I think it just takes time. When you've spent enough time away from the drama, you no longer seek it and you can't stand it when you do encounter it.
bellanomore
you need to heal on your own for a couple years and not jump into a relationship. healing takes a long time. your bored because you still crave chaos when healed you will only allow peace into your life.
whitehorses29
I find the chaos distracted me from unresolved personal problems and emotional issues from my childhood, this might be the case for you. My life with him was a roller coaster so I only focussed on that.
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