Yes, I think they do.

But only so they can feed on the narcissistic supply generated by doing those things.

My dad would do stuff he complained about doing later for other people, and it was almost like his purpose in life was to make other people feel like crap for not appreciating him enough! The most telling thing, though, was that the stuff he did? Very often it was unasked for or unwanted. It was him barging into other people's lives with no provocation, and getting upset when they booted him out.

But yes, absolutely, I think that 'ownership' attitude of, "I'm the only person who can make you happy/successful," is very Nish. Many of us I believe are actually told that in abusive relationships, one way or another. "I'm the only person who loves you," "Nobody else will want you but me," and/or "You'd be useless without me."

I know I was definitely told these things. Great point, Sunny xxx

Yeah, my mom is the same. She "helps" people, but noone asked for her help. And recently, she said like "I want you to be happy. What can I do to make you happy?" (btw she only makes me unhappy)...and I was like "Nothing! Really you don´t have to do anything. It´s my job to make myself happy". It seems as if she doesn´t get it....it´s like if you´re happy/succesful and she "helped", that would make her somehow important....

I think this is a bit of a tricky question. I was once gaslighted by an N ex friend with these things. I think with them, it's a case of giving you things or doing you favors so that you feel you are somehow indebted to them and thus more easily blindsided to their more obviously abusive moves. I had another N friend who had read a book on the symbolic power of giving gifts and implemented it in his own life to gain power.

Helping people and being there for them time and time again, however, and not feeling like your continued efforts are appreciated seems to me quite normal to feel disappointed about.

Say, for instance, that you are there for a friend who is having a rough time and feeling blue over a longer period. Would you not expect them to be there for you when you were having a rough time? And if you show little appreciations towards your partner quite often, would you not at least like them to understand your efforts to show you care and to somehow reciprocrate?

Just because it feels good that someone shows you that level of care and/or trust, does not necessarily mean that you are interested in making their happiness depend upon you. Maybe that is the difference?