Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hello,
My husband has been in an affair with a student of his for approximately 1.5 year. There was a period during this time I didn't not even recognize him. From the beginning I knew the woman had personality issues but as things have unraveled I feel pretty convinced she is a psychopath or borderline personality disorder. My husband is currently in therapy and has been told so far he has issues such as conflict avoidance, low self esteem and lack of confidence although he doesn't come off like that. He has been wanting to end this affair for about a month now and has become more and more himself. He has shown her and has told me that he has told her he doesn't want to continue the relationship. He has told me he has absolutely no feelings left for her for 2 reasons a) he has realized the horrible life choice he has made on so many levels and b) He can no longer stand the way she behaves and has recently seen all the clues. For the last week he has been mainly arguing with her and trying to explain that he wants to end the relationship. She , by the way is a married woman. She is not at all having it and is fighting him tooth and nail and has threatened him with words such as 'I'll show you" . My question is: Is there a different tactic to ending an affair with a psychopath and still come out alive and unscathed, than the typical method of say goodbye and then DNC? And also as she is a student of his she's not going anywhere. Any suggestions? My husband is dragging it a bit because he thinks the less volatile he is in breaking it off the less volatile her repercussions, retaliation and consequences she will make. Help...any thoughts?
My husband has been in an affair with a student of his for approximately 1.5 year. There was a period during this time I didn't not even recognize him. From the beginning I knew the woman had personality issues but as things have unraveled I feel pretty convinced she is a psychopath or borderline personality disorder. My husband is currently in therapy and has been told so far he has issues such as conflict avoidance, low self esteem and lack of confidence although he doesn't come off like that. He has been wanting to end this affair for about a month now and has become more and more himself. He has shown her and has told me that he has told her he doesn't want to continue the relationship. He has told me he has absolutely no feelings left for her for 2 reasons a) he has realized the horrible life choice he has made on so many levels and b) He can no longer stand the way she behaves and has recently seen all the clues. For the last week he has been mainly arguing with her and trying to explain that he wants to end the relationship. She , by the way is a married woman. She is not at all having it and is fighting him tooth and nail and has threatened him with words such as 'I'll show you" . My question is: Is there a different tactic to ending an affair with a psychopath and still come out alive and unscathed, than the typical method of say goodbye and then DNC? And also as she is a student of his she's not going anywhere. Any suggestions? My husband is dragging it a bit because he thinks the less volatile he is in breaking it off the less volatile her repercussions, retaliation and consequences she will make. Help...any thoughts?
As far as ending an affair with a psychopath, it should be a clean break with NC. If she is his student, will this arrangement be ending in May? I guess this would be similar to a break with a partner with whom one must continue co-parenting. This involves Low Contact. In this case, student-teacher contact only.
If she plans to complain to the administration, show a united front. If your husband has come clean with you and you are standing by him, I would doubt his job will be on the line. He might even talk with his superior first. This is a fairly common situation, and unless he is complained about by many women, he is unlikely to lose his job. Or that would be my guess. Different if it a Christian college.
I wish you both luck..
Then one morning, I changed my phone number, blocked his emails, blocked him on social media such as facebook. I removed some of his family from my friends list .. ones he'd suggested I add, although I never met one of them! They were probably another fabrication .. I'll never know but then neither do I care! Everytime he showed his face at my door, I rang the police, I publically humiliated him on social media by pasting all of his xhamster conversations etc ... even then he wouldn't get lost! ... but it was one final confrontation with another ex, my son's father, who finally got rid of him for good!
During those few months after the very last (and final break-up), I saw the many faces of the disorder, the manipulative love bomber trying to creep back into my affections to the raging monster who was foaming at the mouth and totally raving and swearing like a loon! He tried everything in the name of damage control to get me to return for another round of fucks. But the minute he picked up a knife, our relationship was over! He did everything he could to rationalise and explain away the incident, suddenly he wanted to marry me, all the things we talked about were brought to the fore! It was all crap! Who in their right mind would marry a bloke who pulls a knife on her? .. There was no way back from that incident for me!
Once I had completely shut him out, I recovered very quickly! The first few months were hard at times but I was more than happy to be away from him. No Contact is the quickest way to purge your system of their toxic bullshit!