I guess your therapist thinks we should be so strong we stop an abusive person before they do us any harm. And, I guess we should have stood up to our parents if they were over the top.

I was very upset about a breakup (8 yr relationship) and went to a therapist for a little guidance. During the session she told me to pretend I cut the bond and she used her hand to act like scissors cutting in the air!! I thought it was weird and did not go back to her! I worked it out by riding my bike a lot after work and made new friends.

Hi
Seems like a "strange" therapist to me. This has nothing to do With beeing a little kid. The therapist should be the first to know that dealing With Things like this, need an" inner" change in the klient.

Everyone want an explanation, but With these People it is not possible . Thinking of you :)

I don't agree with that, Morgan. I think the heart keeps the mind busy with questions. It is only when the heart quiets down, that we can accept unacceptable answers. Until that time, we keep asking questions. In the later stages, the questioning comes and goes.

It is not a stage of development. Right, Fiskel. Everyone is like this.

Likely because once you've truly reached the stage of enlightenment....your a-ha moment... lightbulb moment, or whatever you want to describe it as, you don't need an explanation anymore. You finally "get it" and can walk away and stop seeking approval from others.... including your parent(s).

I wasted my early adulthood trying to get my parents to admit they were wrong and treated me terribly. Never got anywhere of course. Narcissists never accept any blame. I had to settle for "getting them off my back" and trying to live my own life. Accepting that we had very different opinions and world views--even very different memories of what went on in our house!!!!

If you still need approval or explanations from your parents, it DOES keep you STUCK at a level less than a full adult. Stop banging your head against a stone wall. It feels so good when you stop!!! Get a life, enjoy your life. Living well is the best revenge.

I didn't read that word FROM. That is not productive to seek answers FROM an abuser. But I think we seek them for ourselves and that is what we do here.

I agree with liveing water these P and S never will accept the blame my now ex never did it was alway
My or anothers fault but not his so its hard to ever get an expination from such type of person !