Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hi everyone,
So I have not dated or seriously attempted to date anyone for awhile. I removed my profile from dating sites and decided I was just going to focus on other goals in life since my tendency is to attract narcissists, sociopaths, or just plain old assholes. Recently a guy added me on facebook and I accepted his request and sent him a message asking why he added me. He said he didn't know me but just saw my profile and thought I looked interesting. He seemed to just want to chat with someone for friendship and since I work nights and it's often slow I though why not...it will help pass the time sometimes when it's boring and slow at work.
So I've been chatting with this guy for just over a week since May 27th. He claims to be in the military stationed overseas. At first he seemed interesting and wasn't acting like he was looking for anything more than a friendship because he says things can get lonely there, which was fine with me. I've never had a thing for military guys and my beliefs and values would completely clash with any kind of military lifestyle so I would never even consider dating a military guy. I just thought he'd be someone to chat with sometimes. He claimed he worked as an Special Forces Officer gathering some kind of intel information on ISIS chapters in Africa. I was skeptical. He claimed he couldn't tell me much but then listed some of the duties of his "squadron" and when he listed it I googled that too and said to him "You just copied that from a webpage". He claimed that he copied it just to be able to describe to me the full range of duties he is involved in. Uh huh...ok then.
But then he started calling me baby. I ignored that and never encouraged it. Then recently he started saying he wants to meet me when he is discharged from the army, which he claims in next year. He claims his wife died and he is a widow. He says he has a daughter and she lives with his deceased wife's parents while he is doing his army thing.
THEN he starts talking about marriage and says he wants me to be a mother to his daughter. I have completely flat out ignored any statement that even suggests a relationship and have even told him I'm not looking for anything. He asked why I was single and I told him I tend to meet assholes so have since chosen to be single and focus on other goals in life and things that will make me happy.
Then I told him my mom was coming to visit this past weekend and he started referring to her as his mother-in-law. My ex sociopath did this. Talked about marriage very early on. Had a "poor me" story to gain sympathy. And started referring to my mom as his mother-in-law before he had even met me. My brain is saying "Ahhh yes, another carbon-copy psychopath".
I again ignored his references just to see how far he'd take it. Before the weekend he also told me he loves me, He messaged me after the weekend asking how things went with my mom and if I told her about him lol I've known him online for a f--cking week!
I told him no, I didn't tell her about him because there is absolutely nothing to tell. He asked "are you sure about that?" I ignored him again. I have hardly been online the past couple of days and have ignored his messages. He had been texting me occasionally as well but had said the army confiscated his cell phone because he broke a rule in regards to charging his cell phone in a computer area and they are not allowed to connect their phones to the computers, blah blah blah. But after ignoring his facebook messages he suddenly texted me saying he got his cellphone back. What a miracle!
Tonight I finally checked what he sent me on facebook:
A very nice day to this special lady, who just in a few days got me so addicted to coming online here on facebook. But there's something i am worried about, why isn't she coming online like she used to?
I am thinking she has gone for a vacation without informing me.. lol
6/7, 5:49am
I just want you to let you know that........
"Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm".
I have found that you're on my mind more often than any other thought.
Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts.
6/7, 6:12am
There are even times when I awake, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams.
Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do.
I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.
Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay.
And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.
You are very special to me Dear and i just can't get you off my mind.
I googled the first line of one of his messages and it came up on male-scammers.com under love letters lol I have since blocked him. I don't know what his "end goal" was, but I know I want no part of it.
He hides his friends on facebook but I have seen the women's names who have "liked" his pictures and checked them out. They are from all over the world. He knows spanish too and has women from Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela on his facebook. He claims to be stationed in Africa with the US army but his phone number was a Texas number. I asked him about that and he claimed the army provides the cell phone and that the calls are re-routed through Texas. I did a name search for him on Intelius and can't find anyone with his name. He also told me that the army gave him one of those old cellphones because the newer ones are easier to trace and get access to information on but then changed that story along the way and when I called him on it he claimed I was mistaken and had misunderstood what he was trying to explain to me. He then kept telling me I should buy him a newer more modern cellphone. I told him I was pretty sure the army could pay for his new cellphone lol
Anyways, just goes to show how careful we have to be. I had my facebook settings set so no one could add me that I didn't know but recently had changed them to allow anyone to add me because a friend of mine was trying to add me and wasn't able to find my profile. So I changed it. But I'm changing it back. No need to give scammers, liars or psychos access to my information. It sucks that he has pictures of me now from my facebook so can possibly use them to pretend he's a woman to try and scam guys.
So I have not dated or seriously attempted to date anyone for awhile. I removed my profile from dating sites and decided I was just going to focus on other goals in life since my tendency is to attract narcissists, sociopaths, or just plain old assholes. Recently a guy added me on facebook and I accepted his request and sent him a message asking why he added me. He said he didn't know me but just saw my profile and thought I looked interesting. He seemed to just want to chat with someone for friendship and since I work nights and it's often slow I though why not...it will help pass the time sometimes when it's boring and slow at work.
So I've been chatting with this guy for just over a week since May 27th. He claims to be in the military stationed overseas. At first he seemed interesting and wasn't acting like he was looking for anything more than a friendship because he says things can get lonely there, which was fine with me. I've never had a thing for military guys and my beliefs and values would completely clash with any kind of military lifestyle so I would never even consider dating a military guy. I just thought he'd be someone to chat with sometimes. He claimed he worked as an Special Forces Officer gathering some kind of intel information on ISIS chapters in Africa. I was skeptical. He claimed he couldn't tell me much but then listed some of the duties of his "squadron" and when he listed it I googled that too and said to him "You just copied that from a webpage". He claimed that he copied it just to be able to describe to me the full range of duties he is involved in. Uh huh...ok then.
But then he started calling me baby. I ignored that and never encouraged it. Then recently he started saying he wants to meet me when he is discharged from the army, which he claims in next year. He claims his wife died and he is a widow. He says he has a daughter and she lives with his deceased wife's parents while he is doing his army thing.
THEN he starts talking about marriage and says he wants me to be a mother to his daughter. I have completely flat out ignored any statement that even suggests a relationship and have even told him I'm not looking for anything. He asked why I was single and I told him I tend to meet assholes so have since chosen to be single and focus on other goals in life and things that will make me happy.
Then I told him my mom was coming to visit this past weekend and he started referring to her as his mother-in-law. My ex sociopath did this. Talked about marriage very early on. Had a "poor me" story to gain sympathy. And started referring to my mom as his mother-in-law before he had even met me. My brain is saying "Ahhh yes, another carbon-copy psychopath".
I again ignored his references just to see how far he'd take it. Before the weekend he also told me he loves me, He messaged me after the weekend asking how things went with my mom and if I told her about him lol I've known him online for a f--cking week!
I told him no, I didn't tell her about him because there is absolutely nothing to tell. He asked "are you sure about that?" I ignored him again. I have hardly been online the past couple of days and have ignored his messages. He had been texting me occasionally as well but had said the army confiscated his cell phone because he broke a rule in regards to charging his cell phone in a computer area and they are not allowed to connect their phones to the computers, blah blah blah. But after ignoring his facebook messages he suddenly texted me saying he got his cellphone back. What a miracle!
Tonight I finally checked what he sent me on facebook:
A very nice day to this special lady, who just in a few days got me so addicted to coming online here on facebook. But there's something i am worried about, why isn't she coming online like she used to?
I am thinking she has gone for a vacation without informing me.. lol
6/7, 5:49am
I just want you to let you know that........
"Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm".
I have found that you're on my mind more often than any other thought.
Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts.
6/7, 6:12am
There are even times when I awake, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams.
Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do.
I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.
Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay.
And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.
You are very special to me Dear and i just can't get you off my mind.
I googled the first line of one of his messages and it came up on male-scammers.com under love letters lol I have since blocked him. I don't know what his "end goal" was, but I know I want no part of it.
He hides his friends on facebook but I have seen the women's names who have "liked" his pictures and checked them out. They are from all over the world. He knows spanish too and has women from Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela on his facebook. He claims to be stationed in Africa with the US army but his phone number was a Texas number. I asked him about that and he claimed the army provides the cell phone and that the calls are re-routed through Texas. I did a name search for him on Intelius and can't find anyone with his name. He also told me that the army gave him one of those old cellphones because the newer ones are easier to trace and get access to information on but then changed that story along the way and when I called him on it he claimed I was mistaken and had misunderstood what he was trying to explain to me. He then kept telling me I should buy him a newer more modern cellphone. I told him I was pretty sure the army could pay for his new cellphone lol
Anyways, just goes to show how careful we have to be. I had my facebook settings set so no one could add me that I didn't know but recently had changed them to allow anyone to add me because a friend of mine was trying to add me and wasn't able to find my profile. So I changed it. But I'm changing it back. No need to give scammers, liars or psychos access to my information. It sucks that he has pictures of me now from my facebook so can possibly use them to pretend he's a woman to try and scam guys.
I was reading more on that male-scammers site and apparently some of these guys try to get new cellphones or computers out of people and a lot of the military scams involve them taking a leave and then asking for money to "come visit" their victim and never showing up. I would never fall for such a thing, but it's funny cuz he had just mentioned he had some vacation leave he would be getting soon but wasn't sure the exact dates yet.
It's funny I had a guy on a dating site try to scam me years ago. He claimed he needed money for his mother's operation too...and he was from my country. I was like "duh...we don't pay for surgery here...that's what health care is for" and yet he still tried to convince me. This guy tried to take his time before bring up money topics or starting with the I love you's, but I guess the dollar signs in his eyes made him too eager. Either way I have worked way too hard for my money to fall for giving it away to anyone.
He even tried reverse psychology on me when I refused to answer some of his questions or flat out ignored them...and I kept thinking "don't try using reverse psychology on someone with a psych degree" lol Idiot.
I wish I had seen through my ex as easily as I saw through this guy though. But hey...live n learn right?
That's sad about your neighbor, although it's more likely people that are either mentally challenged, elderly or very lonely who get taken by these things. I have seen some episodes of Dr Phil where some American guys did this to women and they took it really far too...even after they were busted they continued to lie about it. Fake pictures, fake names, fake stories...the whole thing. But I think it takes a certain level of psychopathy or sociopathy to engage in these scams to begin with.
And Kimberly I agree 100% it makes a complete mockery of real soldiers and what they have sacrificed...but then these types have no respect for anyone but themselves so that doesn't surprise me. Shame tho.
You are smart. There are many wonderful men - some may be in your community coffee shop/ski club/beach area, etc. Don't limit yourself to online dating.