Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Hi all,
I read all the cases here, I collected a lot of research material, which I am sharing through my social media, and I concluded that, as many researchers claim, sociopaths may have all types of motivations to target a victim. The needy and the proud, the poor and the rich, the anonymous and the prominent are all potential victims. Here are some elements of my case you should be aware of:
1. Today, I am the main witness and also the most important victim, because of the compelling evidence I brought to the authorities, in what became a high profile case in that state. This individual made an unknown number of victims along more than 20 years. My conservative estimates (I'm a researcher) indicate a figure close to 1 million dollars in damage;
2. The State is willing to pay for my travel and lodging expenses during the investigation and trial. Yes: it will go to Court.
3. As gossip and a formal note to our professional community spread, dozens of victims called the detective in charge. They cannot possible process so much information.
4. His pattern with the other victims was: 1. to achieve a high technical reputation in underground digital forums (as a principal investigator in strategic research, I can impartially say he is borderline genius, as many sociopaths are); 2. ask for money by private message; 3. never pay back or convince the victim he was paying him back through "knowledge"
5. His pattern with me was 100% different: he never TOOK the money. He used it to support our nomadic life, as he grew increasingly nervous with the inability to rent a place. He had blown his local assets, the people that trusted him. He grew even more nervous as the lawyer told him he needed to present evidence of residence and IRS papers to go on with my adjustment of status.
6. He used to claim that I was "the big name" in front of our projects. Until a couple of days ago, I put this into the bullshit box together with all his other lies. Now we are all seeing this under a different light: he probably did want to submerge as my husband, under a diffferent name than the one he was charged for in another state and slowly "launder" his life in order to probably go on scamming people even more efficiently. I could have ended up with a debt that would be literally unpayable.
7. He was arrested on a Friday. I remember telling him "don't worry, this is just a misunderstanding and i'll be fine". We all believed this. It took 72h for me to compile all bank statements hidden from me and analyse them for 8 hours. I had the complete pattern in front of me. At this moment, there was no feeling left for whoever he is. I don't know the real man: all I know is that he is sick, a sociopath and extremely intelligent. The visitation day was Wednesday. He called insistently for me to go, but we did not accept the calls. I felt ZERO urge to see or confront him. I do have a lot of curiosity about the real person, but it is a scientific curiosity. One that cannot be satisfied in direct communication with him, but rather with research.
8. This is a dangerous individual. He claimed he was a US Navy Lieutenant Commander and killed many people in wars he described in detail. All the details match: he did his research. Also, he was married to a Ph.D.: he couldn't afford to say anything out of the script or I would catch him. But as in all forgery, there is a shread of authenticity somewhere. I bet it is the violent childhood and youth, with gang wars in the streets of some big city. This kind of individual has no "cure". Which was my luck: were he a psychopath instead of a sociopath, a cunning man capable of controlling his impulses, my fate could be much, much worse.
9. One out of three of the members of my circle already had relationships with sociopaths. Some lost a great amount of money. Half of my professional colleagues were scammed. One in every 10 people on my circle hava a sociopath in the family. The phenomenon is much more widely spread than we think.
I support you on your efforts of not making contact with the sociopaths: this is absolutely important. But it is hard for me to understand the urge, since I feel nothing. Maybe - and that's a friend's hypothesis - because the foundation of my attraction to him was my admiration for his greatness. Since the greatness and all the rest were untrue, the individual never existed. I can't feel something for nothing.
I can feel desperate about having dismantled my life bacause of a life. I felt suicidal. But my suicidal ideation was caused by the desperation of seeing my life in turmoil and my family rescuing me. Shame is horrible to me.
Be careful. There are people out there who have much more elaborate plans to scam you than most of the ones we see around. Stuff you only see in movies...
I read all the cases here, I collected a lot of research material, which I am sharing through my social media, and I concluded that, as many researchers claim, sociopaths may have all types of motivations to target a victim. The needy and the proud, the poor and the rich, the anonymous and the prominent are all potential victims. Here are some elements of my case you should be aware of:
1. Today, I am the main witness and also the most important victim, because of the compelling evidence I brought to the authorities, in what became a high profile case in that state. This individual made an unknown number of victims along more than 20 years. My conservative estimates (I'm a researcher) indicate a figure close to 1 million dollars in damage;
2. The State is willing to pay for my travel and lodging expenses during the investigation and trial. Yes: it will go to Court.
3. As gossip and a formal note to our professional community spread, dozens of victims called the detective in charge. They cannot possible process so much information.
4. His pattern with the other victims was: 1. to achieve a high technical reputation in underground digital forums (as a principal investigator in strategic research, I can impartially say he is borderline genius, as many sociopaths are); 2. ask for money by private message; 3. never pay back or convince the victim he was paying him back through "knowledge"
5. His pattern with me was 100% different: he never TOOK the money. He used it to support our nomadic life, as he grew increasingly nervous with the inability to rent a place. He had blown his local assets, the people that trusted him. He grew even more nervous as the lawyer told him he needed to present evidence of residence and IRS papers to go on with my adjustment of status.
6. He used to claim that I was "the big name" in front of our projects. Until a couple of days ago, I put this into the bullshit box together with all his other lies. Now we are all seeing this under a different light: he probably did want to submerge as my husband, under a diffferent name than the one he was charged for in another state and slowly "launder" his life in order to probably go on scamming people even more efficiently. I could have ended up with a debt that would be literally unpayable.
7. He was arrested on a Friday. I remember telling him "don't worry, this is just a misunderstanding and i'll be fine". We all believed this. It took 72h for me to compile all bank statements hidden from me and analyse them for 8 hours. I had the complete pattern in front of me. At this moment, there was no feeling left for whoever he is. I don't know the real man: all I know is that he is sick, a sociopath and extremely intelligent. The visitation day was Wednesday. He called insistently for me to go, but we did not accept the calls. I felt ZERO urge to see or confront him. I do have a lot of curiosity about the real person, but it is a scientific curiosity. One that cannot be satisfied in direct communication with him, but rather with research.
8. This is a dangerous individual. He claimed he was a US Navy Lieutenant Commander and killed many people in wars he described in detail. All the details match: he did his research. Also, he was married to a Ph.D.: he couldn't afford to say anything out of the script or I would catch him. But as in all forgery, there is a shread of authenticity somewhere. I bet it is the violent childhood and youth, with gang wars in the streets of some big city. This kind of individual has no "cure". Which was my luck: were he a psychopath instead of a sociopath, a cunning man capable of controlling his impulses, my fate could be much, much worse.
9. One out of three of the members of my circle already had relationships with sociopaths. Some lost a great amount of money. Half of my professional colleagues were scammed. One in every 10 people on my circle hava a sociopath in the family. The phenomenon is much more widely spread than we think.
I support you on your efforts of not making contact with the sociopaths: this is absolutely important. But it is hard for me to understand the urge, since I feel nothing. Maybe - and that's a friend's hypothesis - because the foundation of my attraction to him was my admiration for his greatness. Since the greatness and all the rest were untrue, the individual never existed. I can't feel something for nothing.
I can feel desperate about having dismantled my life bacause of a life. I felt suicidal. But my suicidal ideation was caused by the desperation of seeing my life in turmoil and my family rescuing me. Shame is horrible to me.
Be careful. There are people out there who have much more elaborate plans to scam you than most of the ones we see around. Stuff you only see in movies...
That is the conclusion I am reaching. I am actually writing this story. I already has 41 pages, very small font. I have all the thousands of e-mails exchanged by us. Right in the beginning, I actually suggested he published his books.
The man is, as I said, borderline genius. One of yours sounds way beyond average intelligence (the other is pretty mediocre). I saw him act as a world class coach in front of me: I am hired in different countries to speak and coach. I saw him treating people of chronic pain. And I read his writing.
Most people think that it doesn't make any sense: he is so good as his actual "legal" skills that he would easily make a six digit salary working honestly. It would require much less effort and would be much less tie consuming.
He chose, instead, a mediocre annual income from scams that required his whole investment in digital conning.
That leaves only one explanation: his pathology.
And to think that could be an honest, well to do, decent guy but deliberately chose crime. I found some phrases from him in the e-mails that are perfect red flags. That tells a lot about me: I am a violent person, too. I drooled...
I'm sorry if this shocks anyone, but healing takes a toll, and that is honesty. I co-authored his participation on the script of my life for many reasons, starting with me contempt for my weak father and my wish to gloriously fight the noble war beside a man at my height of competence and... VIOLENCE. And he gave that to me as fiction.
When I discovered none of the war killings were true, none was true, I totally lost interest in him. I do fear for me. I'm not a sociopath, but, as my fragile and sensitive mother always said, I am the avenging angel. And sooner or later, a fake strong, powerful, brother in arms will show up again to use me. Unless i take action and change...
Thank you - I just realized this now.
PS - I despise tears, emotional demonstrations embarrass me and I'm tough. I have a daughter and it;s a hard effort to show love (and I do love her). Nobody would think I would be the object of sociopaths. My forensic psychiatrist, though, disagrees: he said there is a brand of stalking and harrassing pyschopaths that go precisely for this type of woman..
But of course fake medals, or even real medals and credentials are sold online all the time. I just couldn't picture this guy as a military man...his life seemed too disorganized and undisciplined. It seemed like he was too quick to use his military background to get what he wanted from people. Almost everyone in my area who knew him seems to despise him now...don't know where he is now or what he's doing. He really made a mess of things for a lot of people.
I've learned a lot since joining this group. Seems like psychopathic individuals are much more commonplace than I ever realized. And they can be very hard to uncover...they all seem to have a certain intelligence and cunning that other people don't have...yet their lives are often a wreck. And they often leave a trail of wreckage behind them.
1. One out of three people had at least one romantic relationship with a sociopath
2. One out of two people had their businesses/professional careers seriously damaged by a sociopath
3. One out of 10 has a close member of family who is a sociopath
You can broaden this to type B PD, including psychopaths and narcissists. The overlap in symptoms is huge and there is a lot of controversy.