Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
OK so it's been about 1.5 yrs since I left my ex sociopath. Only recently that I found out his new victim is pregnant. But this has really bothered me, since I was with him and after I left him...he collects pictures of all his exes and proudly displays them on his facebook. I thought eventually he might delete the pics of him and I together. But noooo he kept all of them up and publicly displayed on his facebook. It bothered me when I was with him that he had all these pictures of his exes still on his account, but he was supposedly still "friends" with them all so I figured I had to just accept it. Eventually I figured out they are fans and that he still drags them out of the toy closet when he feels like playing with them. But now he has married his new victim and she is pregnant with his child and he's spouting all his "I love you and you're the only woman for me, this is true love, you have changed me" crap to her and yet here he is with all his exes still proudly displayed on his facebook like hunting trophies that are mounted on a wall.
So I know I shouldn't have but I decided to take matters into my own hands. I hacked into his facebook and deleted all the photos. Not just mine. Originally I was going to delete just mine but then I thought that is way too obvious and he has D&D'd enough of his women lately that I would make it look like it could have been anyone. So I changed my IP address and went all-in and deleted all his facebook photos except for his profile pic.
I shouldn't even be looking at his facebook, but this has ALWAYS bothered me that he wouldn't at least remove my pictures. In some ways I feel like I took a step backward by doing it. After all this time it shouldn't have still bothered me, should it?
So I know I shouldn't have but I decided to take matters into my own hands. I hacked into his facebook and deleted all the photos. Not just mine. Originally I was going to delete just mine but then I thought that is way too obvious and he has D&D'd enough of his women lately that I would make it look like it could have been anyone. So I changed my IP address and went all-in and deleted all his facebook photos except for his profile pic.
I shouldn't even be looking at his facebook, but this has ALWAYS bothered me that he wouldn't at least remove my pictures. In some ways I feel like I took a step backward by doing it. After all this time it shouldn't have still bothered me, should it?
Recovery is a long process and so unique for each person that there is no prescription or formula for how long it should take, i.e. how long before you become indifferent to your ex. I can also understand not wanting to be affiliated with him, especially through social media, and can thus appreciate your motive behind hacking into his account and taking extra measures to wipe out traces of your activity. I guess the bottom line is I'm not judging your behavior but to the contrary, understand it.
I am on a similar time frame as yours. So likely going through a similar stage of healing. I can't tell you the amount of scenarios that have gone through my mind.
I have just come to a place of realizing how self absorbed I've been as a victim. And I'm not saying that is wrong. We need to dedicate a lot of time to ourselves and not to others, just as a person who suffered a serious car accident has no choice but to focus on their healing before they can get on with their lives and not think about their condition all the time. I have been thinking so long and hard about forgiving my husband, that i never even stopped to think about what is it that I do that's wrong, such as talk to my kids too much about this situation. But now I will begin to think about what do I need forgiveness for.
It's a process and long road back to normalcy. The fact that your wrote a post entitled 'confession' shows your'e not exactly cool with what you did. You really harmed no one in doing what you did. Forget it, put it behind and move on.
so spot on. Who would want to be a mounted head on his Facebook wall of
shame? His exes will most likely consider it a public service.
My exP's sister loved to collect unflattering pics of me, and before I suspected
she was setting me up, she'd beg me to make 'silly faces" so she'd have
ridiculous pics of me to add to her collection. I'd love to get my hands on her
sadistic scrapbooks and run them through the shredder lol.
I don't feel necessarily "bad" or "guilty" for doing it. I guess more than anything I feel bad that I was doing pretty good with no contact and even with not checking his FB or anything else...after a very long time getting there...but I completely broke that. So in that sense it's a step backwards. I'm glad to be in a place where people understand this kind of thing though. It's easier to move forward though knowing that those pictures are gone. I am sure he doesn't have copies of the majority of them.