Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
How do I deal with two 15 year old daughters that are starting to be like their mom - exaggerate, create drama, "always do this", "never do this", they get angry and fly off the handle. All I ask if if they want to come over and see me this weekend.
I make myself available. I ask. I invite them over. So far it is rejection.
I want to know if it's time to give up on them and accept that they will be just like their mom and leave it to them and God for them to come back into my life.
If there is a male that has gone through this and endured, or seen their kids come back please give me advice.
I make myself available. I ask. I invite them over. So far it is rejection.
I want to know if it's time to give up on them and accept that they will be just like their mom and leave it to them and God for them to come back into my life.
If there is a male that has gone through this and endured, or seen their kids come back please give me advice.
I have a 14 and a 16 yr old daughter. They live with me but have/had contact with their PSN father and stepmother (who is freakin worse than he is)..... here are my thoughts...
15 year old girls tend to exaggerate, create drama etc even without this behaviour being modelled to them.
This is also the age where hanging out with friends becomes way more important to them than hanging out with a parent- (this happened with my eldest daughter when she was 14 and her Dad INSISTED she go over there and when she said no- he forced her into a car and wouldnt let her out. That ended contact between them. She refused to go bak the next week which happened to be Christmas and he chucked the most amazing mental about it- because it was embarassing in front of extended family and has refused visitation and presents since then- (Its been 2yrs now)
So some things I've learnt along the way...... (from his mistakes)
Know your child/teen development. Not wanting to hang with your parents is totally normal as a teen....
So if you do want to do things... try not to make it interfere with possible friend time. Try Monday night dinner?
Don't stop trying.... my ex DID try to mend things with his daughter... but he doesn't try hard enough. He didn't try long enough... He does stupid things like ring her 8 times to say Happy Birthday but when my stubborn 16 year old won't answer... he sends her a text message to stop being rude. Doesn't actually say Happy Birthday... cos its not on HIS terms. He refuses to send her birthday presents. He sees visitation as some sort of requirement to get presents. Work out what you want to provide for your children.. based on yours and their circumstances and provide it unconditionally.
Make sure your children know - without any kind of ambiguity- what you are providing. Im not in your position obviously- but I can PROMISE you without a doubt that the PSN's would downplay my contribution and upplay theirs. They do this even now. Keep receipts...Direct whatever you can straight to the children out of child support if this is allowable. For example- pay for school uniforms and other clothes and medicines etc and submit the receipts.
Something else I know about teen girls.... they don't like to look you in the eye while talking about something important. They will talk in the car or walking on a beach .... but sit them down and look them in the eye... they stop talking.
So far, my eldest has worked out how her father works and doesn't want anything to do with it.
The younger child hasn't worked this out and she is still blindsided by their lies and things. I parent with faith that my children will work out for themselves who is doing the right thing and who isn't. You can help this along by holding yourself to a very high standard and whenever possible sticking to the high road.
To summarise- 15 year old girls are dramatic stc- they want to hang out with friends more than their parents and it's normal. Work out what you want to do for them... do it without strings attached. Keep the relationship going even if they are a bit non responsive and parent with integrity knowing that they will eventually realise who has done whats best for them!
Good Luck Mate :)