Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I'm crawling out of my skin right now.
Each Thurs is ex's Skype night with our son.
(We have 2 children but our 15yo daughter is too "disrespectful"* for his Majesty so she's been excommunicated)
*disrespectful - dis·re·spect·ful (adj.)
Definition: finally standing one's ground; upholding boundaries.
Anyway, Skype nights are a hit & miss situation - most nights my ex doesn't sign on but tonight, he did.
I heard his fake, high-pitched "Heeeey buddy!" on the computer from all the way in the kitchen.
.... I know that voice.
That's his "someone is here and I need to show them I'm a good dad" voice.
Sure enough, the rest of his family is in the background.
Why so irritated???
Because he doesn't sign on or even speak to our kids unless there's someone around to "show off" to. There isn't any independent or quality spent with them.
When he has them for visitation, he pawns them off on his sister or girlfriend.
I am beyond sick of it.
It's like the story of the Little Red Hen... I get to do all the hard work and have no social life in order to raise our kids (which I'm very happy to do - don't get me wrong) while wearing the scarlet letter and fighting the lies his entire family spews, while my ex sits back and does almost nothing but still earns the title of Super Dad.
It's such crap.
Which brings me to another gripe... why are moms held to a higher standard in our society?! If a father doesn't deny a child at birth, he's immediately considered to be a good dad. Abusive, alcoholic, druggie - doesn't matter.
Single dads are awesome while single moms are welfare recipients and pariahs. I see so many douchey guys waving their single dad badge around to get a pat on the back, but single moms hang their heads in shame.
UGH!!! WTH?!
Needed to get that off my back so I can hopefully try and concentrate on school work.
I lose all my focus when we deal with "him".
Each Thurs is ex's Skype night with our son.
(We have 2 children but our 15yo daughter is too "disrespectful"* for his Majesty so she's been excommunicated)
*disrespectful - dis·re·spect·ful (adj.)
Definition: finally standing one's ground; upholding boundaries.
Anyway, Skype nights are a hit & miss situation - most nights my ex doesn't sign on but tonight, he did.
I heard his fake, high-pitched "Heeeey buddy!" on the computer from all the way in the kitchen.
.... I know that voice.
That's his "someone is here and I need to show them I'm a good dad" voice.
Sure enough, the rest of his family is in the background.
Why so irritated???
Because he doesn't sign on or even speak to our kids unless there's someone around to "show off" to. There isn't any independent or quality spent with them.
When he has them for visitation, he pawns them off on his sister or girlfriend.
I am beyond sick of it.
It's like the story of the Little Red Hen... I get to do all the hard work and have no social life in order to raise our kids (which I'm very happy to do - don't get me wrong) while wearing the scarlet letter and fighting the lies his entire family spews, while my ex sits back and does almost nothing but still earns the title of Super Dad.
It's such crap.
Which brings me to another gripe... why are moms held to a higher standard in our society?! If a father doesn't deny a child at birth, he's immediately considered to be a good dad. Abusive, alcoholic, druggie - doesn't matter.
Single dads are awesome while single moms are welfare recipients and pariahs. I see so many douchey guys waving their single dad badge around to get a pat on the back, but single moms hang their heads in shame.
UGH!!! WTH?!
Needed to get that off my back so I can hopefully try and concentrate on school work.
I lose all my focus when we deal with "him".
He even FAKED his own daughter was dying in hospital to extract money from someone. What a sick sick depraved man. If he went to as much effort to actually be a father, instead of a low life dead beat dad - if he put as much energy into his daughter instead of scamming people he could have been a great dad. But the truth, he couldnt be arsed. Pretending and faking what a great dad he was was more important. Its quite sick when you think there are REAL LIFE CHILDREN involved.
This man even stole photos from other peoples facebook to give the illusion that he was a great dad. What a loser. Who does that? Most dads jump at the chance to see their children.
All he is interested in is MONEY!!! And MONEY he could get for his children - not to take care of her - oh no --- to spend on HIMSELF to set himself up... just to scam. For fun. because his own child didnt mean anything to him.
He had a 'best dad' keyring, and photos of her. lol... what a loser. Who uses their own child to make MONEY? A loser and a psychopath. Thats all. Because the child means NOTHING. its just what they can get.
he even went as far as to pretend for MONTHS -- that mother of his daughter was dying. Fake calls to his daughter who was so distressed. It really upset me. ANd it was all FAKE.
Must be really dull living a life with no feelings. NOBODY who cares about their daughter pretends she is dying in a hospital to get money. Thats just sick. But he did that. And i am sure that his daughter will feature again and again in scams to obtain money. Well i am certain. His new housemate - said that he had glasses for his daughter - i thought you idiot he hasnt seen her for years. he just uses his daughter as an illusion of a moralistic man. Truth is mother of his child cant stand him. And i expect as the years go on his daughter will feel the same way.
Sorry -I am just really angry. How he pretended he loved his daughter, when the truth was he didnt care about her or her welfare - he just wanted money. Because he was such a loser he couldnt earn his own.
@ Vonniedisley
"I would stop Skype night..Hes abusing one of your children by selectively only communication with the other? and hes inconsistent with it..which is damaging to your sons esteem..I'd throw out the camera say something spilt on it? whatever it took?..."
Yes I'm definitely considering that one. There's nothing that says I have to let him Skype. I've thought about ending that privilege and telling my ex he can call from here on out, until the courts say otherwise.
"..sad for our children..but mine are much better off seeing less of mine..and having less time with him also.."
Agree 150%
"..and get on with enjoying quality time with our beautiful kids....Congratulations! You're a great Mum!!"
Thank you very much! I know we have to try a bit harder than average parent to counter our sociopathic ex's behaviors.
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@lionne noir, Thank you! Sometimes that's all we need. :-)
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@dma2z,
Isn't it funny how we can always see it once we're away from it, but we believe their insane lies & stories while we're with them? I'm not mad at my ex's girlfriend. I've been in her shoes. She's just under the normal psychopathic spell. Once her own daughter starts showing symptoms in the next couple of years, she might possibly open her eyes.
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@snowy,
If we've dated one N/S.... it's VERY likely we've dated or befriended many more. They can scan and pick out empathetics in a crowd. I'm very choosy with my acquaintances these days.
N/S are like cockroaches (in more than one definition). For every one you see, there are hundreds more waiting in the dark.
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@mayanicole,
I know!
The guy I dated after my divorce was the same way, except he kidnapped his children from their mother and started receiving section 8 housing and public assistance. He said he left because his ex went back to her abusive husband so he had to protect their kids. Because there wasn't a custody order in place, there wasn't anything she could legally do about it. I thought he was being a good dad...
..... but I was skeptical because of my own situation...
I would have totally fallen for his B.S. if not for already walking a mile in that mom's shoes.
I knew the red flags. I started picking up on his inconsistencies. He never did anything with the kids unless I was around. He stopped letting their kids call their mom. He referred to his mother as "the bitch who birthed him". Once he started calling his ex a c*** and laughing about the fact he made her cry over the phone, I was out the door. I really hope CPS takes those poor kids away. His 6yo daughter was a total mess.
I attract N/S men like poop attracts flies. :-)