Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I'm crawling out of my skin right now.
Each Thurs is ex's Skype night with our son.
(We have 2 children but our 15yo daughter is too "disrespectful"* for his Majesty so she's been excommunicated)
*disrespectful - dis·re·spect·ful (adj.)
Definition: finally standing one's ground; upholding boundaries.
Anyway, Skype nights are a hit & miss situation - most nights my ex doesn't sign on but tonight, he did.
I heard his fake, high-pitched "Heeeey buddy!" on the computer from all the way in the kitchen.
.... I know that voice.
That's his "someone is here and I need to show them I'm a good dad" voice.
Sure enough, the rest of his family is in the background.
Why so irritated???
Because he doesn't sign on or even speak to our kids unless there's someone around to "show off" to. There isn't any independent or quality spent with them.
When he has them for visitation, he pawns them off on his sister or girlfriend.
I am beyond sick of it.
It's like the story of the Little Red Hen... I get to do all the hard work and have no social life in order to raise our kids (which I'm very happy to do - don't get me wrong) while wearing the scarlet letter and fighting the lies his entire family spews, while my ex sits back and does almost nothing but still earns the title of Super Dad.
It's such crap.
Which brings me to another gripe... why are moms held to a higher standard in our society?! If a father doesn't deny a child at birth, he's immediately considered to be a good dad. Abusive, alcoholic, druggie - doesn't matter.
Single dads are awesome while single moms are welfare recipients and pariahs. I see so many douchey guys waving their single dad badge around to get a pat on the back, but single moms hang their heads in shame.
UGH!!! WTH?!
Needed to get that off my back so I can hopefully try and concentrate on school work.
I lose all my focus when we deal with "him".
Each Thurs is ex's Skype night with our son.
(We have 2 children but our 15yo daughter is too "disrespectful"* for his Majesty so she's been excommunicated)
*disrespectful - dis·re·spect·ful (adj.)
Definition: finally standing one's ground; upholding boundaries.
Anyway, Skype nights are a hit & miss situation - most nights my ex doesn't sign on but tonight, he did.
I heard his fake, high-pitched "Heeeey buddy!" on the computer from all the way in the kitchen.
.... I know that voice.
That's his "someone is here and I need to show them I'm a good dad" voice.
Sure enough, the rest of his family is in the background.
Why so irritated???
Because he doesn't sign on or even speak to our kids unless there's someone around to "show off" to. There isn't any independent or quality spent with them.
When he has them for visitation, he pawns them off on his sister or girlfriend.
I am beyond sick of it.
It's like the story of the Little Red Hen... I get to do all the hard work and have no social life in order to raise our kids (which I'm very happy to do - don't get me wrong) while wearing the scarlet letter and fighting the lies his entire family spews, while my ex sits back and does almost nothing but still earns the title of Super Dad.
It's such crap.
Which brings me to another gripe... why are moms held to a higher standard in our society?! If a father doesn't deny a child at birth, he's immediately considered to be a good dad. Abusive, alcoholic, druggie - doesn't matter.
Single dads are awesome while single moms are welfare recipients and pariahs. I see so many douchey guys waving their single dad badge around to get a pat on the back, but single moms hang their heads in shame.
UGH!!! WTH?!
Needed to get that off my back so I can hopefully try and concentrate on school work.
I lose all my focus when we deal with "him".
Its also a huge infringement of your private space..having to hear his disgusting fake great Dad laugh...
Its good to remember that we get the quality time with our children..and they are the huge losers because they are incapable of love..sad for our children..but mine are much better off seeing less of mine..and having less time with him also..
So long as we know that WE know the real them..and try not to waste our emotional energy or thoughts on them any more..and get on with enjoying quality time with our beautiful kids....Congratulations! You're a great Mum!!
I found the following and love it and found it helped me..
'In the words of Pushing Daisies, The facts are these:
He is not my problem.
I no longer put up with his behaviour. I don't have to, I don't want to - and I will not.
He will never thank me for leaving and will never be grateful for the love and kindness I gave him. And it's not my problem.
I am proud of myself for building courage and for leaving him.
I AM TRUE TO MYSELF.
Expect the worst from him. It's the most I can count on.
I might lose people in my life. It will hurt. But it will be okay.
It's time to move on.
I have nothing at all that I need to prove to anyone.
No one else knows the real him and I am not here to show them. It's their problem.
People can judge me all they like, it's just their opinion. It's not fact.
I am stronger than any of this.
I refuse to waste any further energy.
I am free.
I am a great person.
I love and respect myself.
I glide through this episode because I am not a victim.
No one else can judge me. They weren't there. And they don't know.
I concentrate on being kind to myself and true to myself.