verbal abuse Community Group
Help others enduring the same pain each day as I do
My husband is a hot tempered guy and when he argues he doesn't debate - he road-rolls a person up the wall. When I was dating him and we had fights , I stupidly thought things would change once we get married (less scope of misunderstandings once we are living together) But they didn't.
when ever I present myself to have a calm discussion to solve the issue he shouts, "Get the f*** out this roomhouse" "just leave" these are his favorite lines and it kills me every-time.
The reason why I feel lost is because, when ever we have fights, they can be over anything that I might have said, 5 years ago - 6 weeks ago- 2 days ago : doesn't matter, I might not even have meant it in the way he took it back then but instead of clearing it right then and there, he waits, and springs it in an unrelated fight completely blindsiding me in a what-the-f***-where-did-that-come-from moment.
At the back of my head, even when things are normal , I am waiting for the other sock to drop. I am afraid of expressing my opinions because I know I am just giving him ammunition to come at me with in the future.
In a conservative country, ours was a bold marriage putting our love before anything else. I was head over heals for him since day 1 and he has always known that. The Power has always been with him. The respect is one-directional.
when ever I present myself to have a calm discussion to solve the issue he shouts, "Get the f*** out this roomhouse" "just leave" these are his favorite lines and it kills me every-time.
The reason why I feel lost is because, when ever we have fights, they can be over anything that I might have said, 5 years ago - 6 weeks ago- 2 days ago : doesn't matter, I might not even have meant it in the way he took it back then but instead of clearing it right then and there, he waits, and springs it in an unrelated fight completely blindsiding me in a what-the-f***-where-did-that-come-from moment.
At the back of my head, even when things are normal , I am waiting for the other sock to drop. I am afraid of expressing my opinions because I know I am just giving him ammunition to come at me with in the future.
In a conservative country, ours was a bold marriage putting our love before anything else. I was head over heals for him since day 1 and he has always known that. The Power has always been with him. The respect is one-directional.
The more I stay calm and be affectionate and try to patch up, the more bewildered accusations he throws at me to trigger me off. Why do they have to do that!!!! he knows all my weaknesses and all my tipping points. And he knows how to come at me. Its in his nature to bombard at a person and keep going at them till they are completely broken. That is how he deals with issues in life. Unfortunately, I am a part of this life.
When I was dating him and he would go on a rampage of absurdity, everyone said, oh this frustration is just temporary, wait till he moves into this city, wait til he has a job, wait till he starts earning, wait till you are married... wait , wait, wait .. and in the end everything will be fine. But now after 4 years of dating+being married, I see that its not the situations that bring out the crazy in him, Its him.
And you know what, may be its me that he doesn't like. May be he regrets marrying me. (his mother certainly likes to show her dislike of me every chance she gets) What ever it is, I wish he would just come out and say it then, instead of killing me one fight at a time.