So I've been with my bf for 7 years. When I first met him he was like a breath of fresh air. He was so genuine to me and my son at who at the time was 13 months. Things were perfect at first until I found oit he cheated on me with his ex gf in which I still stayed with him.

Fast forward sometime, I found his journal and in there was how he took other girls out for drinks and how wanted to be with another girl and he was decided btwn me and her. He only stayed with me because she turned him down. I said something to him about it, broke up with him for a while and I was proud of myself. He kept calling me and etc and we all know how that goes. 

I took him back and things were good for awhile. I started to learn be had a terrible drinking problem. At the time I thought I could help him and I didn't want to leave him. This is when the verbal abuse and some physical fight s started. I was more physical than he was. But his verbal abuse was so brutal. He would say such evil and low things to me that I couldn't believe someone would say to someone they loved.

Fast foward the physical fights have stopped but the verbal abuse continued. I found out he slept with a female who was suppose to be a best friend. Stupid me to believe that shit. I still stayed with him like a dumbass. 

Fast forward to now he has a drinking problem, he can't control his emotions, and I think hes a narcissistic. Nothing I ever do is good enough. Its like he doesn't want to see me succeed in life. He gets mad whenever I say I want to hang with friends whom I hardly ever see. Their was a point in my life where I really lost myself because of him. I was soo insecure and depressed. But I hid it from my family and friends.

No one knows how miserable and sad I am. It took me a long time to realize that he is no good for me and that I deserve alot better. I feel like ive been dragging around dead weight. Im trying to fix a problem that can't be fixed. Sorry so long I just needed to vent with people who can relate. I dare not tell my family and friends because I am ashamed.