Verbal Abuse/Abuse Community Group

This is a support group for others who have suffered from abuse. You are not alone.

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Asha88 08/14/2017

I'm new this website, my first day and I'm desperate to understand what type of abuse this is. every time I want to see my family, that is 60 Miles away, my husband will tell me that's fine and when I confirm that I'm going, he acts surprised that I'm actually going and will tell me everything to scare me to stay home. If I do get the guts to go, the next day is a nightmare, I call it pay back time. I have to hear how I didn't worry about him, and it's all about him and he's all alone. then he'll tell me that it's fine if I go see family and he'll go back to seeing his friends again and that's not a good thing

It's always a struggle to say I'm going to see family or spend a day with girlfriends. matter of fact, I don't have friends because I always have to cancel plans because of him. I have to find the right time to say it, hope he's in a good mood, think about how I'm going to say it and then hope for the best. even if all the stars align, I still have to hear the lecture.

Has anyone else experiences this?

soulwarrior 10/24/2017

He's gas lighting you. It's a subtle form of manipulation used by narcissists. It's as likely to be used by a male narcissist as a female narcissist. I, myself, have had to deal with both a female and a male narcissist in my lifetime(and am still dealing with a female narcissist) and I'm doing therapeutic work to help me that's how I know what term to use.You need to see a therapist that knows about narcissism and knows the tools to help those, like us,who are still in the midst of it or have just gotten out. A therapist will, also, be able to introduce you to resources(like a support group) that can, and will, help you when that therapist isn't available or you're not able to see that therapist for whatever reason. If you're like me and you're unable to afford a therapist or you can't find one in your area who specializes like this than there are great therapeutic books, and workbooks, that you can get ahold of to help you. There are, also, life coaches who have accounts set up on YouTube. They are genuine and I know of one that has her own web site and an app that can be put on an iPad or iPhone. The site is called queenbeeing.com and her YouTube account is Angela Atkinson.

Tangled_Weeds 11/04/2017

The U.S. Department of Justice defines emotionally abusive traits as including causing fear by: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work. Subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (e.g. the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying.

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