I’ve been unhappy since the gospel reading at mass yesterday. You see the reading said that anyone who blasphemies against the Holy Spirit would not have forgiveness. This left me unhappy because now I know I have to worry about doing that and not being forgiven and it sounds like this could ruin my chances of getting in to heaven and I really want to go to heaven. When ever I worry about blasphemy I get blasphemous thought that pop into my head. It all gets very hard. Sometimes I wish I could leave the catholic faith but I know that I can’t.