Hi ,

Ive been with my husband for 32Yrs and our relationship has always been rough. First off he's a alcoholic which I didn't find out right away, and he is very hateful when he drinks. Mostly to me Everytime he would drink he would do things to make me upset an then would come the argument. Which of course we're always blamed on me and would be turned around to make him the victim. Yet like an idiot I took it why maybe cause I believed in my wedding vows . Wanted to believe I could make it work but I know now it was an impossible task when we met I was 24 he was 21 I took pride in my self to look good but eventually trying to keep him happy an always going out of my way to please him which never did I lost sight of myself and everything started going down hill . I am not saying I was the perfect wife or didn't contribute to arguments because if I said that I'd be a liar. But I always did try my best so fast forward he was recently diagnosed with brain cancer so i knee this was where I was going to be forever. But after the diagnosis everything of course changed I was at the hospital with him during after an utilities he came home but once we were home and I tryed to take care of him like his medication or his Dr appointment everything he started pushing me away to the point of getting angry if I talked to him or anything. Then he started avoiding me so as of today I sleep on the couch . He won't look at me or talk to me if we're in the same room he will go back in the other room till I leave he had my daughter as his care taker so I stepped back. Now I find out that on facebook messanger he has been talking to old girlfriend from school or now he's no longer working he's been talking to girls he used to work with but the thing with that is he's telling them all lies things about me that are no way when true and I'm so hurt an mostly pissed off he's saying I have refused to help him with any kind of care he needs which is really so untrue I tryed an tryed an he pushed me away I stepped back so I wouldn't upset him then to find out he's telling them I'm on drugs an all I want is his money ..now that really pissed me off because for one a week before he started chemo an radiation treatment he was drinking everyday and smoking crack cocaine. And as for money I never needed or wanted his so called money back then or do I want it now. He has me as benefisary on his life insurance at work I guess I told my daughter to tell him I want my name removerd from any documents he has me on I don't want anything to do with his money as of right now I'm thinking of filing for divorce but problem Is I have no where or no one to go and I do get my own money for my hearing disability but what I get is not enough to pay for the things I need like rent utilitydu food . I just am at my wit's end an the worse part is why is he treating only me this way I can other think of anything I've done to him that was so bad for him to be this way . But I do know that everything I've ever done for him and have always been there for him noatter what he just decide to not remember that I'm so mind blown I'm always feeling sick to my stomach when I think of everything I went thru in the last 32yrs an this is what I get I'm so done