Unhappy Marriage Community Group
A place for those caught in an unhappy marriage who don't know what to do or where to turn. A place to come to talk and share the hurt and pain involved with an unhappy marriage
It's hard to post my struggles now that I have found somewhere to share them.
I have been married for 11 years, together 13. 2 young children. We are eachothers best friend, support, communication, parenting, you name it, we are in it together. He helps with housework, and our daughters, gives me anything I want, well all but 1 thing. We hardly have sex, its several months between, he has no sex drive, but he can get it up at the drop of a hat. There is always something, he has a sore knee, sore back, stuffy nose, too busy on his phone, it's too late, I'm on my period, I work too much, we don't have time, It's my fault I don't instigate it, I'm too fat, my stomach turns him off, he doesn't know why.....
Before we married we did it daily. Then we get engaged and it reduces to weekly, then monthly. He said I need to proce to him I'm not marrying him for the sex. So ok, I held back. Then we marry and all the excuses started. He made me believe I was too fat, my stomach turns him off. I just had a baby (c-section) after IVF. 4 years later I have our 2nd child, c-section, 4 years IVF.
I lost most if the weight, I'm down to 80kg, size 12. I do my best with hygine, look nice, wax, hair dressing appointments, new clothes, diets, removed all my issues and emotional shit. We have our own money, I run my business, I let him do what ever he wants, never nag or complain anymore about the non-intimacy, I'm almost the perfect wife, but I guess I'm too ugly for him to want me?
We only have sex when it has been months and I cry that I'm not happy anymore. Or I express how I feel and he ONLY trys to have sex when it's innapropriate, like kids are close by, so I stop him and I go without.
I think sometimes he is gay, has another woman, or into weird shit. But I see no signs, and he doesn't go anywhere or show interest in other men or women.
I wouldn't even care if he did, because having an answer to why he won't touch me would put me at ease to know.
The thing is, I help women break free of their emotional issues, and I'm smart and capable enough to make it work on my own with the kids.
So why can't I leave? Why do I not want sex when 'I crave sex', knowing he doesnt want me so I dont try anymore. Why do I feel like drinking every night but I don't touch a drop, why do I try to look attractive when noone but the men at the supermarket notice. Am I a hypocrite - coz I feel like one.