Unexpectedly Widowed Community Group

For men or women widowed unexpectedly

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Unexpectedly Widowed Support Group

new to group

LisaKaye
LisaKaye

I am new to the group.  My husband passed away in August at the age of 58 very unexpectedly, just didn't come home from his office and had to go looking for him and call 911 and they discovered his body on his office floor, sudden cardiac death.  This was two days after my birthday and two months before our 27th anniversary.  Our marriage was not the best, he had suffered two brain injuries in two different accidents and could be difficult to live with, but we had been together over 30 years and had two kids.  Kind of feel like I am in autodrive and just going thru the motions of life.  Still have a lot to do with things involved in closing his business.  He was a one-man architect firm and builder.  I had no idea of passwords or accounts or anything like that so it has been difficult.  How do you keep going, putting one foot in front of the other and feel like this is a point?  Even with all our difficulties I thought we would grow old together.

MamaCajun
MamaCajun
I too lost my husband suddenly. I woke up one morning after hearing him on the back porch earlier that morning drinking coffee & talking with his early bird friends. He came back to bed and within a few hours had passed in his sleep, with me lying right next to him. Because of his medical history it was thought he had a heart attack. We are both 60 and had been married 22 yrs. I too, have had to search for passwords to take care of unfinished business. I have to maintain our properties & the lawnmower has already broken needing to go in the shop. I've had a friend troubleshoot it doing all the same things I've watched my husband do. I have had to do a sort of inventory on all his tools/ equip. Wondering just how am I gonna be able to do all the things that he did, all our memories & plans for the future tied up in our camp, boats, his truck, fishing equipment, power tools he used to maintain everything. I have a shrine for him in the living room of all his veteran memorabilia he was so proud of. I am left with one income when it took both of our incomes to maintain a simple but comfortable life. I feel cast out on the ocean alone in a lifeboat with only uncertainty in the raft with me. I want him back, I want our life back. As I read from someone else, friends and family have been supportive but I feel like ai need to talk to others who share this grief and pain. I cant even get real release, its like a stone in my heart that's blocking the wail that needs to come out. I want to wail to the heavens. My husband left this world a month tomorrow and I dont know who ai am anymore. I keep thinking this cant be happening. I did good, kept busy with all the arrangements, was gracious to all the family/ friends who called, came by. They have all been so kind, but I dont know what to say to anyone anymore. Their lives are all going forward. Mine seems to be in limbo for now, but I dont have the luxury of savings to stay like this for much longer.