Unexpectedly Widowed Community Group

For men or women widowed unexpectedly

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blancasantosruiz 10/25/2015

I just lost who has been the love of my life for 16 years. I met him when I was19 and he was my first and only. We have two wonderful boys, 3 and 8. Last week he had a heart attack while he was taking care of our children. He called me on the phone to say he was not feeling well. When I got home 10 minutes later he was not breaking and his heart was not beating. I did CPR till the ambulance arrived, they tried everything but he was gone.
Now I don't know how to face life without him. People say I'm doing surprisingly well but they don't know what happens after I put the kids to bed, they don't know I can't sleep, I just get into bed and cry through the night.
I just don't know who else to turn to. Hope to find some confort here.

garrykowalewski 12/03/2015

Hi Blanca, first of all sorry for your loss. I just loss my 40,year old wife and also have trouble getting to sleep and even wake up early everyday. I'm talking 3am wide awake. I try to put on a game face at work,and around others. But,on,my way to work and on the way home tears and sobs. I hear it gets easier but may take years. I,usually,feel,and little better after a good cry,and I'm not afraid to admit it.

tim57 03/03/2016

Hi Blanca,
You have an excellent reason to push thru. You have those two boys who will need you more than ever now. What helps is to remember what your husband would want you to do. I have to believe he would want you to keep going and take care of those little guys. I don't know if your a person of faith but if you are draw strength from there. I can tell you it really helps. Look into the widow/widower board. There are folks there who have been at this for awhile and they have really helped me a lot. There is also a widow/widower of faith board also.
The main thing don't be afraid to reach out for help. But if you are experiencing what the rest of us have the best advice comes from those who have been thru it. No one else can really understand what this is about. You can read some of those posts without joining to see if you can get some answers there before joining.
Peace, Tim

lindanne 03/10/2016

Peace Blanca. The feelings you are having and will have are non descript. I know them well. I went through a sudden, very quick, death of my husband due to a heart attack.Myb CPR efforts did not help. He was gone. All I can over you is my love and to tell you there are many, many of us with you.
Blessings,
Lindanne

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