Hello,
before I begin nothing I say is intended to offend or upset you, or anyone; I just wanted to try and help, so;

Is it just your kids that are really pushing you, or are they just the cherry on the pie? I only ask this because our nerves are pushed a lot of times throughout the day and more so when there are other underlying problems or issues with who ever is involved. Our nerves play a very important role in our bodies and keeping them controlled is vital.

The main thing you need to do is keep your blood pressure down, that is vital. A breakdown is pushed forwards a lot harder and faster when your blood pressure is high, it can lead on to heart problems and pulpitations. which neither is good for you, so how do you think you can reduce your blood pressure?

What do you think you could do to get out of the hole your in at the minute?

It pains me to see that someone is on the edge because of their children, that in itself is not right; so, are they adult enough to talk to you about what they are doing to push you, or do you feel it isn't worth the hassle any more?
Maybe you could all work towards a happier enviroment for you.

it is interesting that breakdown is a disordrer and it comes from conflicting attitudes; so having bipolar isn't helping you in slightest, but if your children have one view and you the other, then there is another conflict. I think trying to sort these conflicts could help you to bring down your blood pressure, and then reduce the chances of a breakdown.

Has your sensitivities to things gone up? For example something that was trivial to you now puts you on the edge of losing your temper, or being over emotional about the situation.

Another thing to remember is you feeling this way and if you are acting on it is you could unitentioanally add flames to the fire - if you get my drift. Keeping yourself calm may help to keeping the mood calm.

I suffer from anxiety myself, extreme anxiety (which is why I wanted t make it clear I wasn't trying to upset you, by replying) and I myself have resorted to taking a few more pills then I should just to switch off for the night and get some rest, the pills did help at first, but only temporarily, I think that the way to help yourself out of these feelings is time, and fair bit of self control.
I think you should try building steps: example

1) what is really bothering you, what is causing your problems to feel or be so bad?
2) don't bottle up, try talking to friends or someone you trust about daily things that have bothered you so they don't build up and make your days worsened.
3) if you cannot work out what is wrong and you are getting worse, try your doctor; however I do not think that more medication is going to help this, as it is more a mental thing, not a physical thing and you need to confront it.

I hope I have helped...in some way. I hope you can find peace in your dailey life too :)
Izzy, my thoughts are with you.

Hello DAB3. I have not been around this group for a long time, but I have been on DS for a few years now. MissIzzy brings up a lot of very good points. I do not want to upset you in any way either. It sounds like you are aware of the conflicts in your life, and between your kids. I think what you might need to do, is remind yourself that YOU come first right now. In my opinion, they are old enough to handle this. If you feel that you need to be in the hospital, then that is what you must do for yourself. Blood pressure is nothing to mess around with, and it sounds like it needs to be treated. Your entire state of health is vital, and important to pay attention to. Drug abuse is not the answer, and you may want to explore some different coping mechanisms. I understand you are just venting here, but if your life is unhealthy & unbearable, you should probably seek some professional help. I am Bipolar myself, and being successfully treated for it. Part of it is medication, but as MissIzzy said, it also involves mental self-discipline. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me. I certainly hope that you are alright. Take good care, and do whatever you need to do.

hey, i do not intend to upset you either... but i know from experience with my own kids ... which are 32 & 33 ... as long as i hand it out... there they stand with their hands out... i have enabled my kids to not live their own lives for a very long time... but then there came a time... i did not have it to give to them... and i just told them... i do not have any more money to give ya'll and ya'll are gonna have to fend for yourselves... and you know what??? they did... they have made it just fine without my giving and giving... they are much more into their own lives now and are much more happy too... that is how it happened for us... hope that this helps you some... i hope so... :)

I call it SSDD, most every day. From reading everyone's posts, I am kinda glad I never had any kids. Just my furr kids! My cat keeps me in line, and that's about all I can handle, kid wise. A cat.

my kids always brought pets in and would take care of them for a very short while... then guess who go stuck with the responsiblity???? me... and i just wish that i would have kicked their asses and made them take care of them... i think it would have taught them more resonsibility for later on in life.

Drugs just seem to b an easy response. And the take the edge off quickly.
I am on medicine but don't have much self discipline at all. I do not understand wht u guys mean when u say take care of urself and mental health plan and things like tht.
I see my therapist 5 weeks then pdoc then starts over. I'm on meds and they work fairly well. This is the best I have felt in a long long time. Still feel crappy. Cry daily...if it weren't for my kids id prob spend 3+ days out of 7 in a week in bed.
Idk I guess thts just how it is for some. We all have varying degrees of bp and different accompanying illnesses which make our symptoms unique. Good times!!

you certainly need to take care of you and love you....sending you love