Twelve Steps of Forgiveness by Paul Ferrini Community Group

The Twelve Steps of Forgiveness offers us a process for unlearning our ego-based search for perfection and discovering the inner beauty, guidance, and grace that already exist in our lives. It enables us to honor others and establish healthy boundaries that prevent manipulation and co-dependency, so that we can discover the place of peace within. It is a book you will...

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/ Twelve Steps of Forgiveness by Paul Ferrini Support Group

Why do we need forgiveness?

Group Foundervjewel
vjewel
Why do we need forgiveness? Because every one of us has condemned ourselves. And every one of us has tried to work out of our self-hatred by projecting the responsibility for our problems on others. But it just doesn't work. Self-hatred, remains self-hatred even when other people are involved. Attacking others or defending against their attack does not lessen our deep-seated judgment of ourselves. Deep down inside every single one of us is a wounded child who needs to heal. The process of forgiveness offers this child the opportunity to heal. It is a life-long process that continues as long as we continue to judge ourselves or others.

I believe this so much, that every time I judge others, I know I am judging a part of myself. I don't condemn myself for that, but I see it as another chance to peel away another layer of the onion. Good Day!
ButterCupPrincess
ButterCupPrincess
I wonder why the self hatred? Why is that in us? Is it taught?
Group Foundervjewel
vjewel
I can't speak for anyone else but myself. There is not a time in my childhood I remember being told I was good, nice, kind, special, sweet, loving, etc. I do remember being told I was useless as tits on a boar, a no good whore, lazy ass, worthless, useless, troublemaker, etc. I think that speaks enough for my own self-hatred. Then throw in a little sexual abuse and feeling such shame as if I were to blame. Has taken a lot of years to undo all of this. YES, it was taught to me and I believed every bit of it.
WalkinBuffaloMan
WalkinBuffaloMan
Just to add to what has already been said, we also live in a society that "trains" us. We're suppose to have that good job, that big house, the picture perfect family, all the bells and whistles if we are to be considered as "successful", if we are to "happy". When we fall short of what society expects we criticize ourselves, thinking we are to blame. We'll often strive for unrealistic goals and ignore those small successes we have, since it's never good enough and we feel we can do better.
Instead we need to honour ourselves for those little successes, no matter how small they are. We then start to accept ourselves, finally finding a peace with/within ourselves, then we no longer set ourselves up to fail, since we focus on those little changes we may need in our lives and stop setting unrealistic goals for ourselves.