I dont think I have ever felt more lost in my life. My amazing fiance came out to me about a year ago now, switching his pronouns simple, helping him with his binders and packers a breeze, thinking of him as the future father to our children easy peasy.
Then the hard stuff hits. It hits like a semi. Who am I now? Me? Who am I in this? I have identified as a lesbian since I was 11 and now I am in a straight relationship and just saying that feels weird though I see him as him. Who is he? Who will he become? He is in therapy now, which means T is sure to follow soon... What will become of his personality that I am so on love with? What will come of his appearance that I now swoon over? What will become of our sex life which was amazing yet is slowly fading? How do I support him through this? How do I support me? I dont want to leave but there are days that every single part of me screams to go. Somedays its so much easier to swollow than others. Somedays I feel totally helplesss. I dont know how to talk to him, when I do I can see me breaking his heart, but I feel as if I am mourning as life as it was.
I'm scared. Worried. Alone.
Hi yaSo big question. Can you get flashbacks of something that didn't really happen? Can my brain make up some horrible things that I've been flooded with today? Are all flashbacks real?I was sanding down a table that Im repurposing for my bedroom and all of a sudden with the smell of saw dust and the sound against the wood all the emotions and flashbacks came rushing in over me and I freaked...
ive been out of work for a year now. I left work because i was struggling with managing my fibro pain and fatigue doing a pyhiscal job. My anxiety levels were very high when i left. I was anxious id not be able to go in and cope with all i needed. Was i fit for the job. Not really i was exhausted constantly. My anxiety and lack of confidence in my self got too much when one day i snapped. I saw...