toxic parents Community Group

There's a book titled "Toxic Parents". At age 58 I'm still dealing with a toxic dad who killed himself in 1982?, and a toxic mom who i had to take off life support, and guilt re it.

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/ toxic parents Support Group

What is a toxic parent?

AntiBadVibe
AntiBadVibe

Hi,


I was looking for people with similar experiences to me that i could talk to about my parent but reading through these posts makes me question if my parent even is toxic and whether im being dramatic. 


Hes never physically abusive to me its just more emotional- making me feel gulity about doing things for myself, creating such strict rules i feel nervous doing anything round the house incase its 'wrong', ignoring me for days on end etc. The kind of things that seem normal until you get older and realise no one else has the same weird issues me and dad have.


If someone could help me identify if what im dealing with is a toxic parent or just me being dramatic that would be really helpful


Thank you so much

m.v
m.v
Hello I’m Mary I too understand and I’m so glad I found somewhere I can express my feelings I really am I thought I was going to go sane if I didn’t speak my mind. I don’t think you are being dramatic I think there different types of toxic parents. Not just physical abuse but emotionally too. I didn’t believe my mother was toxic until I read this article maybe it’ll you see and understand how your dad behaves. https://agileleanlife.com/toxic-parents/

I hope to be able to hear from you a person who understands me. Thank you for your time hope to hear from you.bye
AntiBadVibe
AntiBadVibe
I also am happy i found where to talk about this stuff. Friends i speak to dont really seem to understand and advice they give to help me is so wrong i know ut would just cause even more problems.
I think what makes it difficult is that apart from a few things, i am a pretty well adjusted person. Im pretty independent for a 19 year old, i always do well in studies and i am mostly happy with who i am. Alot of this is due to my dad who raised me pretty well and also me releasing at a certain age that some of my behaviours (that mimic my dads) are gross and i should stop doing them. So i did stop doing them.
For me it kinda makes it into an issue of "bc i am an okay person, does that mean my dad was actually an okay parent?". Despite certain behaviour he shows that i know is not normal for a parent.
m.v
m.v
I really do understand you completely I am also 19 years old I try to manage my life completely. I do everything “the correct” way and I still get treated like if I was a child. My friends also just tell me that I need to stand my ground or that I should just not listen but if I even talk back to her she takes it as if I don’t love her anymore. For example, if I say I want to go to a party and it start late she takes it as if I’m out of control as if I’m doing to go get arrested. Somehow she twist my words and ends up telling me if I go to the party to never speak to her again. I get so frustrated because I don’t understand what wanting to go to a party has to do with me not loving her. I thought this was a thing all parents do but after I read some thing I figured out it’s been a way she manipulates and it’s a very toxic trait but no matter what I say or do I either listen to her or she will disown me for apparently not loving her. For them they think they’re being just strict I under that kids must have rules and growing up with strict parents may create good people but there is a fine line between strict and abusive and manipulative. So this makes me wonder where does that line start? Yes we’re good people but are we happy the way our parents treat us? I don’t understand and wonder am I exaggerating or I just want to keep pretending like those toxic traits are normal.