So sorry you are feeling this way. I sure do remember the places PTSD could take me. And I'm doing so much better now - my biggest complaint is feeling a little spacier than I want to more often than I want to -- I can focus, just not always & not as well as I could once -- maybe it's just old age, but I tend to believe PTSD took it's toll on my brain function as well as my body over the years.

All I can say is don't give up -- pay attention to your "intuition" - if you pay attention your mind & your body really do know what you need to feel better -- it's just that you become so disconnected that the messages they are sending easily become obscured or numbed out -- I think the less you try to complicate it the easier it is to understand -- if that makes sense -- trust yourself a little.

Also every aspect of your life that you can pull together helps bring you back to your center, where you are more connected w/yourself, you feel in control of your life, and you feel safe! Work on your health - physical activity, eating right, just being good to yourself & making good choices for yourself (as much as you can - such as avoiding toxic people & toxic situations) - and you need to convince yourself that you really do deserve it --- not because maybe you have always made the most choice decisions, or that you have lived your life as a saint -- but because you are a human being that has endured & survived experiences most people will never have to - thank goodness - and as a human being that has been injured & that is in great pain - YOU DESERVE RELIEF!

Believe - that you are a stronger, wiser, BETTER person for everything you have been through - it may not always feel that way - but if you can imagine yourself in the place you want to be - and you have the patience & determination -- you can endure all of the agonies of PTSD as you make your path to the place you want to be -- because it's that or sink deeper into the PTSD black hole - and that's not really even an option - right? :)

You can do it -- I know you have been making progress in the past. BTW - what other people think of you - or your perception of what other people think of you - can sometimes seem soooo important when you are in the depths of PTSD - remember, that it only matters what you think of you - if you can focus on that you can rise above these feeling of inadequacy - yes you still need friends & to feel accepted by your peers - but what you think of you matters first - then choose people in your life that love you for the things you love about yourself - and that support & encourage you -- people that pull you down have to go - doesn't have to be mean - they just have no place in your path to recovery.

Also my comments are directed at everyone here in the group - not specifically at you, rockstargi - I am generalizing my own experience - we all have to find our own paths - but truly - believing in yourself, taking care of yourself - and convincing yourself that you deserve to be happy -- these things together will take you far in the long run!

Take care everyone!! Relief is possible - reach for it!! Good luck Rockstar -- and good for you for HAVING A JOB -- in this economy & here you are fighting PTSD -- and you still have a job -- that is an accomplishment in itself you should feel great about! Give yourself a break & just keep taking steps forward -- one step at a time - even if the step is occasionally clumsy or even backwards - you'll get there!

oxox ~~~ Ananda