The Working Group Community Group
This is a safe place, free from bullying for those of us who need and want a place to work on overcoming PTSD, CPTSD. I hope this will become a place of trust.
I have been having migraines for a few weeks now and asked my psyc. dr. for a referral to a new neurologist. I didn't look at the referral until the day before I was going to drop it off. On there she has along with PTSD and depression, Sx of boarderline personality disorder. I am assuming Sx means symptoms. This is a bit of a shock for me. I know I am emotionally unstable right now but I do not act out like I have seen people with BPD do. I do not have angry outbursts or switch emotions quickly. I can pull myself back together if I use my coping skills well (mostly meditation) and when triggered I try to resolve things in a useful manner.
I don't have fears of abandonment, only thing emotion wise I feel deeper than others is anxiety and fear. I am not sure of my personal identity right now, but had a very strong sense of identity in the past (like last year). I can regulate my emotions (the little I have with the PTSD) except when severely triggered or having a flashback. I do get paranoid and disassociate when stressed but that is just part of PTSD. Yeah and if they want to call picking at my skin self-harm, then it's self-harm, not getting rid of a zit.
So am I really that bad? Do I really need this additional diagnosis or should I disagree with the doctor?
I don't have fears of abandonment, only thing emotion wise I feel deeper than others is anxiety and fear. I am not sure of my personal identity right now, but had a very strong sense of identity in the past (like last year). I can regulate my emotions (the little I have with the PTSD) except when severely triggered or having a flashback. I do get paranoid and disassociate when stressed but that is just part of PTSD. Yeah and if they want to call picking at my skin self-harm, then it's self-harm, not getting rid of a zit.
So am I really that bad? Do I really need this additional diagnosis or should I disagree with the doctor?
More I have read, the more CPTSD sounds right. I can see the similarities and since CPTSD does not have a diagnostic number, they have to use something in it's place. I am getting back to stable right now. Having anxiety problems and jump at the littlest things but at least the nightmares are under control. Some of my meds stopped working and with the job I have- stress on top of stress- I wound up in the psyc ward back in February. That was also on top of carpel tunnel surgery and my husband in the hospital- I hate February. Since then, had asthma get out of control badly, pneumonia, and migraines almost daily for last 6 weeks. So working on the PTSD and anxiety has been a little tough to do. But I am hanging in.
Sorry to hear about your project going down the tubes. One problem is the only people that seem to want to look at the dark side of human nature are people who have suffered from it. We want to stop it from happening to others but our own problems can get in the way. Sounds like the researcher you were working with needed a peer adviser for her to see her own issues. As far as Muji- that doesn't sound like his normal. Could it have hit too close to home and triggered him for his reaction? I don't know but it does make me a bit sad that you two are not talking.
And Jen, please don't let one person's opinion keep you from the board forever. You have provided great inspiration and information that has helped thousands through the board. Losing you would be a giant loss for the DS PTSD board.
Your Friend,
Audra