The Working Group Community Group
This is a safe place, free from bullying for those of us who need and want a place to work on overcoming PTSD, CPTSD. I hope this will become a place of trust.
With all the things I lost in life; my dad at 3 mos. old, my childhood, my sister, my mom (my choice- she is toxic), other people I loved, pets, my feeling of self-worth, my sense of security, am I becoming numb to loss? I just lost my job yesterday. Partly my fault- they were looking because I have been out sick quite often but it was my action in the end that gave them the reason that will stick. Yesterday was hard but today I got up and started to look for a new job. Was actually enjoying looking for one. Still feel the sting of having done something stupid to get me fired but already looking to do positive things. Like going to donate blood today. I'll admit I was starting to look for a different job before this but the only other time I was fired from a job was very devastating.
Only thing I fear is my previous employer telling them the reason I was fired. I want to come clean here. Yes I put time on my timesheet for training I had not finished so I would have 40hrs. My intention was not to steal or defraud the company. I was going to get the training completed this weekend. I do not double charge for time or otherwise take things. I have on several occasions not charged time and expenses for things I had done for the company. Now I am a bit worried they will poison my reputation for one stupid act and make it hard for me to find a new job. They gave me information for filing for unemployment but I still don't trust their motives. Trust is hard for me.
Sorry, I rambled. Just needed to get things out.
Only thing I fear is my previous employer telling them the reason I was fired. I want to come clean here. Yes I put time on my timesheet for training I had not finished so I would have 40hrs. My intention was not to steal or defraud the company. I was going to get the training completed this weekend. I do not double charge for time or otherwise take things. I have on several occasions not charged time and expenses for things I had done for the company. Now I am a bit worried they will poison my reputation for one stupid act and make it hard for me to find a new job. They gave me information for filing for unemployment but I still don't trust their motives. Trust is hard for me.
Sorry, I rambled. Just needed to get things out.
I am sure you had good intentions at work to finish the training. It is hard to work when you have PTSD and it is even harder to ask for help when you are behind or off schedule. So I get what you were doing and why. It may have been more of a hiding your symptoms of PTSD which you normally have to do to prevent from being let go. It is a double edged sword. It also sounds like they were just waiting for something to get you on so they could let you go.
Keep looking for the positive. This is your chance to do something you really enjoy. Do you have a list of jobs you would be interested in? I think this will be good in the long run. Your x-employers sounds kind of crappy. Oh, could you ask a friend to call in for a reference to see what they are going to say about you?
Happy hunting
I hear you about the workaholic thing. I tend to be a workaholic and perfectionist, not a good combo. My over achievements got me a good bonus every year, and nice raises. It also got me a lot more work, and a lot more stress. There were those who hated me just because I did my job and half the departments. It was like wearing a bulls eye on my back. Not nice. I am off work because of PTSD and on disability. This has been really hard on me to accept that I am sick and need to be off work. I am addicted to the adrenaline rush of being busy and accomplishing things, solving complex problems and see my ideas streamline processes and put profit to the bottom line. Suck to be us eh?
Take care